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Thread: Its Over Satan

  1. #1
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    Its Over Satan

    Before i start let me plz explain this poem had a major roll in my life,i have hated god my whole life and blamed him for everything but i wanted a change i wanted to stopdrugs stop falling and start beliving and strat climbing back from the bottom,but before i could i had to lose satan the voice in my head the evil in me i had to tell him to leave and plz belive me here it worked(for some time) i know this sounds crazy and stupid but i belive i can talk to both god and the devil there in my head the fight for my soul,god wonts me to repent devil wonts me to die,i have managed to write down some of the things they say in my head and this one was my poem to satan to tell him its over i love god,plz some feedback would be nice i have never showed anyone my poems and i really would like some feedback on my poems,good or bad i can take it all and now the poem thankis for waiting hope u enjoy.(P.S. plz dont mind the swearing i not it not needed but at the time its how i had to express myself to satan its the only way i could tell him to leave me alone,but i respect some pep dnt like it so i will censor it but plz understand i have to write it for its the way i felt the way i wrote it thanks again)

    (

    "Its Over Satan"

    Its my father i worship and my lord i love
    you will not drag me below i will fly above
    u can try n try with all ur ****ing might
    but i tell u right now u will lose n i will regain my life

    so go ahead give it your best shot
    its over no more causing pain no more sin no more pot
    my will and my faith r now stronger then u ever wish u could be
    ill reclaim my place next to my lord "dnt bet you'll see"

    i would rather hang up next to jesus n endure the same pain n die
    then to even think of ur name or join ur ****ing side
    you have lost satan ur power is useless
    i can feel u getting weaker hour by hour

    this is something i know i will never regret
    i would rather be my lords slave then ur pet
    so take ur temptation and go stright back to hell
    take ur sin with you its over cnt u tell

    i have recliamed my soul i have takin it back
    never again for u to toy with n thats a fact
    youve lost satan so return to ur prison to burn
    the lesson of god i have learnt

    the lesson of a better n more furfilling life
    so here ive taken it out my back you can now have back ur knife
    uve abused ur power n abused my faith
    but i change my life for jesus christ sake

    he suffered n endured all for me
    all so my spirt after death will be free
    im going to a holy place when i die not ur prison of rot
    u thought u had me forever but u forgot

    that ur the evil one n my lord does n always will forgive me for what ive done
    i will always be welcomed in heaven and always be his son
    so pack ur **** satan and go back to ur prison for another thousand years
    untill u will be destroyed by god n his overseeies

    youve lost satan i have won this battle and destroyed you in the fight
    now has come the time to live my own life
    but there will come a time that we will meet again
    but only to come with a army of angles to put u to ur death to ur ****ing end

    and when this day comes u better be prepared
    cuz im coming stright for ur head in jesus christ name i swear
    so untill this day u two faced fallen angel from grace
    u better be ready for when we meet face to face

    bring all ur demons and all ur sinners
    but in the end of this battle only the holy will be the winners
    we will pull out ur horns and tear of ur wings
    and take u to be finally condemed by our lord by our king

    you will sit through ur trail n u will finally be judged
    where ur punishment is death and the end to heaven and hells grudge
    the heavens will open once more to throw your limp dead body back down
    to where all ur followers will gather around

    to see that there god has finally been killed
    and that no angels blood has been spilled
    they will cry and they will perfetickly weep
    and ur broken body we will let them keep

    to remind them that there god was worthless in the very end
    what im trying to say is we are now enemys n no longer friends
    i have repented for my sins n in return been givin redemption
    and with it i am now welcomed as a son to my father in his holy heaven

    thanks for reading i know its long but this is only one of my really loong poems,are they to long to classified as poems and if so what are they thanks and i hope u enjoyed

  2. #2
    King of Dreams MorpheusSandman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theriddler89 View Post
    i belive i can talk to both god and the devil there in my head
    Reminds me of poor Emily Watson's character in Breaking the Waves.

    While I can admire the honesty and heart you put into this piece, all of the internet colloquialisms like "u" and "n" and "r" are really annoying and distracting. And, like I say all the time, if you're going to write in couplets (back-to-back end-rhymed lines) you have to maintain a regular meter. Here, the rhythm is all over the place. I think this poem is one of those examples of the writer having the drive and inspiration but not the technical ability to express themselves. Writing is always about combining both. Otherwise, you're just trying to clap with one hand.
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung

    "To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists

    "I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers

  3. #3
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    If you want your poetry to be taken seriously by readers, please write in English. In poetry the presentation of language itself is just as important as the content.

    Use Vim or some kind of word processing application and replace your ur, u, and n with your, you, and and.

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