"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring," the school bells sounded releasing the students for the summer. As the other children flew out the doors and onto the buses, Aurora walked slowly, dragging the bag that was almost as heavy as her heart. The memories of being slammed into walls, and put through windows in a few of her father's violent rages, flash through her mind. As she boarded the bus she watched the safety of school fade away into a memory. In too short a time the bus driver announced they were at her house, reluctantly getting up she dismounted the stairs onto the cracked pavement leading to her house. The weeds were taking over the lawn, the windows busted out from dads temper, and beer cans all over the front lawn. Aurora had long since stopped cleaning up after him, trying to put on a façade for everyone else that she was happy and had a good home. They all knew but they just didn't care enough to do anything to help her.
The warped door moaned its protest as she tried to sneak inside. As she heard her father's grumbling her hope fled with knowing he was home and that confrontation was inevitable. She is home alone with him, her biggest fear and she gets to live it all summer long. Thinking to minimize contact and tip toe past his spot on the couch, 9 year old Aurora slips off her shoes, her soft feet padding reluctantly towards him. She thinks her plan might be working until she feels his coarse, hairy arm grab her. His untrimmed nails dig into her flesh. The alcohol on his breath almost knocks her down as he yells at her, "where the **** have you been? God dammit I have been hollerin’ for ya for over an hour."
"I was at school daddy," she replies, hoping it will not cause him to lose his temper. She knew by the smell on his breath that it would end badly for her if she did not keep her calm. Aurora knew a lot of lessons that her friends didn't, like not to mess with daddy when he starts drinking. She knew that what happened at home wasn't right, but she would never tell because daddy would get her, he told her so. She knew that other kids her age would play and go to camp this summer, and she would stay home and fetch beer, and make dinner; but she didn't know just how bad things had gotten...
Thankfully dads only request right now was another beer. Aurora knew that was a bad thing, but it gave her time to escape to her beloved library. Retrieving the beer, even opening it so he would be happy she brings it back, hoping to make a quick exit.
"Where you going, baby girl? Comes talks to your daddy," he slurred.
Reluctantly, Aurora sits on the edge of the couch like a rabbit ready to flee to shelter. As they converse and he ask questions that she knows he doesn't care about the answer, she smiles to herself gratefully, thinking maybe things are changing and he will get better.
"Aurora," he screams, "you listening to me girl?!"
His harsh voice interrupts her thoughts.
"Sorry daddy, what did you say?"
"I'm having my boss over to play poker, you better be around when I holler at ya, ya here? Don't you make me look like a fool! That would make your daddy real mad ya got it?" he says.
"Yes sir," she says in a practiced voice to hide the panic.
As he grabs the beer she brought, she takes the chance and flees to her room. She hears his mocking laughter all the way up the stairs. Not sure rather to be grateful or scared, she had never met daddies boss, and momma wouldn't be home for another week. She just hoped that his threat meant that he cared about this man's opinion and she would be safe for tonight.
Staring at her alarm clock on her bed she realizes that dinner is only two hours away. Scurrying to get ready she jumps in the shower, and washes her hair twice to obtain a maximum shine. Wanting desperately to make her Dad happy and impress his boss, maybe than she won't have to get any hits tonight. She gets out of the shower, blow dries her hair, puts on makeup the way momma showed her and puts on the dress daddy had bought her that afternoon before he got drunk. It was a pretty dress, not like the ones the teachers wore, or the other girls at school. It was hers. The fabric was like silk, in a vibrant white that accented her dark brown eyes. She loved it. It was tight in some places and uncomfortable, it didn't have sleeves and made her look like she was tiny and she couldn't breathe in it. However, daddy came in and said she looked pretty and that was all she needed to forget about all the bad things. She put on her best shoes, fixed her hair and descended the stairs one at a time, trying to mimic the models on TV with their grace and fluidity.
The voices greeted her as she made it half way down the stairs. Her daddy introduced her to three co-workers, and then his boss. He whispered to her that she was expected to be a good host, and to act right or else. He didn't need to finish the threat. Aurora had no intentions of causing any problems and she was excited that she wasn't forced to hide in her room. Dinner passed without any problems and daddies’ boss gave her a lot of attention. He sat beside her, stroking her cheek, playing with her hair, and keeping his arm around her the whole time. She didn't understand the motive was more than friendly.
Daddy announced that they were going to go play poker, and Mr. Johnson asked her if she would like to help him for a few hands, looking at her Dad for permission, he nodded and said he didn't mind. All excited to be once again included, she floated down the hall oblivious of the deadly eyes watching her every step. Counting the chairs, she realized they where one shy, and not wanting her dad to realize it and ruin his mood, she starts to back out to grab another. Mr. Johnson catches her and asked her why his little angel was leaving. As she told him he laughingly replied, “Well then I guess you will just have to sit in my lap.”
"Oh no, it's ok, I don't want to be any trouble," Aurora replied quickly.
"Ah no trouble at all to have a pretty girl around," he laughed lightheartedly.
As they took their places he lifted her into his lap and the game began. His pants had a knot in them, but she was trying not to think about it. The cards where dealt and he spent the first round explaining to her how to play. He was tickling her and every time she would squirm he would laugh and continue, while her playful naivety let her laugh and enjoy the attention. After the fifth hand he asked if she liked her room and she replied, “Yes.” He asked her if he could see it. Once again asking her dad first, he agreed. She led Mr. Johnson by the hand excitedly to her room. After “ooing” and “ahhing” over her stuffed animals and posters, he asked if her bed was comfortable she replied yes and sat down. He sat beside her, the bed moaning protest at this new weight, and a piece of her hair fell in her face and he gently removed it. She noticed his breath didn't reek of alcohol like her dads’ did and his hands where softer too. He caressed her cheek, gently brushing over her lips making her shiver. Confused as to what was happening she sat there still as a lamb waiting for slaughter. He pushed her into the bed, pinning both her wrists with one hand above her head. He pushed against her hips until she cried and asked him to stop. A sick grin passed over his face and she realized she was in trouble. She started screaming for help but the music down stairs was just too loud. She heard the fabric ripping as his wet kisses went down her small frail body, exploring her skin as he ripped away her dreams. After shoving a gag in her mouth so she couldn't scream and fetching something to tie her with so she couldn't move, he slid his pants down.
Gawking with fear at what she saw, she knew boys where different but what was that. Scared at her position, all she could do was let the tears fall and beg with her eyes as he rubbed against her. He was making all sorts of funny noises Aurora didn't understand. He took the gag out and she thought it was over until he shoved that thing in her mouth. Gagging, fighting for air, she tried to push him away, her attempts where met with laugher as the monster on top of her just kept shoving it farther in her mouth. Content with the damage he had done to her he put the gag back in. She lay motionless waiting for him to leave as he crawled over her shaking body. She was gasping for air with tears running down her cheeks. He looked at her from between her legs; the look on his face became forever engraved in her nightmares. It was a look full of destruction. His eyes pierced her, traveling over her body. She was begging and pleading through the gag, squirming and trying to be free of her binds…but her attempts just pleased him more. As he smiled he pushed between her legs, and the blinding pain hit, nauseating her. Confused and desperate for help she screams, and pulls her arms and legs. Jerking, kicking, anything to be free of this pain. He moans his satisfaction and tells her to be a good little whore and admit she likes it as he pulls out of her and forces himself back in again and again. He hits her for screaming and tells her she is not bleeding enough and takes out a knife. Having pulled away from her, she thinks he will cut her binds. Instead, Aurora feels the cold steel of the blade stinging her skin as it split her open. The blood trickles out of her body and onto the sheets around her. The pain shoots through her veins. She tries desperately to get away, but the blade just bites deeper into her. Ripping the knife out, he carelessly tosses it across the room and shoves himself inside her over and over until the pain blinds her and she passes out. She wakes up to her gag being ripped away from her mouth. A false hope of salvation sets in as she opens her eyes until he pushes himself in her mouth. The thickness of him cutting off her air forces her to gag until there is something warm and thick running down her throat, almost making her vomit. She tries to spit out the foul substance, trying to get away from her tormentor. Mr. Johnson pats her on the head, telling her she is his favorite little whore, and that if she tells, her daddy would lose his job. His smirk reminded her how her dad was when he was mad. Throwing her clothes at her, he says that he will tell her dad goodnight for her. Before he leaves, he peeks back in through the almost closed door and smirks.
"Remember, it's our little secret. You where begging for it anyway."
His haunting words filled the air as she ran to the bathroom. She scrubbed her skin until she was raw from the amount of force she was using to remove him from her. She stood under the shower long past the time the water went cold, finally getting out and putting on her robe and laying in her bed. As the memory of the night etched itself into her heart she knew nothing would ever be the same again...
As she went to sleep that night, she prayed to God to take here away from the place that she was so hated. To take away the pain and the lingering guilt that hung over her heart like a mourning veil. She woke up that night multiple times and it was the first of many restless nights that haunt her. The scene playing over and over in her head, she beat herself up over her stupidity. Calling herself a whore and feeling like it was all her fault…it was after all. The "visits" happened for over a year, and then dad lost his job and Aurora no longer saw Mr. Johnson. Even though her father blamed her, she kept her secret locked away. Like poison in her heart she grew up with hatred for the men who did this to her, and those who would never help. Breeding the girl she became. She wouldn't go anywhere after dark for fear of the leering eyes waiting to get her, she would stop sleeping in order to avoid the nightmares. By the time she turned twelve, three years later, she would be addicted to drugs and cutting. Aurora’s father never changed, and he never learned about the pain his daughter suffered for him. Aurora never told him or anyone else. She would refuse to meet the eyes of strangers. Years later they knew she had a secret, but they never asked, and Aurora never told. She died with that secret. The guilt and self-hatred had consumed her.
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comments, critisim? This is my second short story so I know its not perfect, any constructive crit. would be appreciated.
Thanks,
steph
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