I can't stand this anymore;
This constant battle of hurt.
I'm taken for granted
And hated for my words.
People think that I'm soft,
But I risked my life
To fight for freedom of others
Black, brown and white.
I was sought out for dead
By the brotherhood's scouts,
Yet proudly I stood
On my feet with no doubt.
But now I am nothing
A has been, a won't be.
My once famous passion
Now drowns in hate's sea.
What would you think
If you knew my truth?
My history of passion
Love, hate and abuse.
"We are animals with problems that no other animal has." - Radam J. Starkiller
inspiring - the theme of rascism is evident in my opinion. i like it a lot
Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
s2tephanson
Thank you very much
"We are animals with problems that no other animal has." - Radam J. Starkiller
That is the problem with us; and we do not know the truth, for it is morphed, layered, crusted and we have to peal off crusts after crusts to arrive at the historical truth. You said so much in these few lines. Of course there are passions, hate, love, abuse but we must have a different prism through which we can see the truths of history.Originally Posted by Revolte
Beautiful and edifying
“Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””
“If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.
I could not agree more, and thank you
"We are animals with problems that no other animal has." - Radam J. Starkiller
Man, I love it..
It has a nice message, but I'm not sure where the art is here. Maybe I'm just missing something.
Well i define art as creation, so that would give it an artistic quality all together. Other then that I'm not really sure if it has any. The message itself is kind of the point of this one as its a vent.
"We are animals with problems that no other animal has." - Radam J. Starkiller
I weary,
Will I be succesful, some day?
Successful in convincing writers that
the best poetry is not for handing out
messages.
Poetry of the substantial kind has no
teaching or preaching function.
Prose!
Write prose if you have something to say
in a new way.
I dare to say, if a person has a 'message'
to impart to mankind, it has already been
made public-- let me see ...
I guess 124,765,666 times.
In prose. The definition of an essay is the
treating of old issues, old truths, old
themes. The charm of an essay is the manner
of treatment.
I will keep at this until tomorrow at noon,
or maybe Saturday morning around ten.
HH
Your opinion on what is best poetry is your opinion so expect to fail at getting all others to join your thought.
Even if this was prose, it's ok to post prose here. It's been done.
Please keep some what on subject Huck, I've read your view on prose and poetry on many peoples posts now. It's getting old. With that being said, I would like it if you would not comment on my posts telling everyone what poetry is and is not. I believe there is an entire section for such debate. Keep it off my posts, please. I'm looking for constructive criticism about my poetry. Or a word of kindness or opinions about the poem itself.
P.S. I will write what I want how I want, and all your doing is giving me reason to contenue doing so.
"We are animals with problems that no other animal has." - Radam J. Starkiller
LOL
Ok, fine with me.
But I am giving you the kind of constructive
criticism you need.
You will never be more than a 'messenger' tell-
ing the same stuff over and over.
Sorry I did not 'gush' and say 'marvelous'
when we all know your poem is just one of many
unnecessary duplicates heaped with platitudes.
I thought you wanted to become a better poet.
I was wrong.
If the point of this forum is to indiscrim-
inately romance each other with praise, will
not the praise begin to water out?
I will avoid your work.
Thank you.
HH
Don't make assumptions. I didn't ask for your praise, try reading my response to your first post again.
Who in the hell are you to say that I don't want to become a better poet?
I didn't ask you to avoid my work, but I'm glad you made that choice.
It's just that if I have to read "Prose! write prose! prose, prose, prose! This is not poetry!" One more time on my posts I'm going to take a baseball bat to my lap top.
"We are animals with problems that no other animal has." - Radam J. Starkiller
It's not my opinion.
It's Eliot's opinion
Auden's opinion
Ransom's opinion
Arnold's
Johnson's
DeQuincey's
Shelley's
Croce's
Keates's
Sainte Beuve's
Peacock's
George Moore's
Conrad's
Valery's
... and many others.
My opinion? ha.
Why do amaateur poets hold on to their
old habits as sacred? Why do they resist
instruction and criticism?
Stubborn
Refractory
HH
Oh, I'm the most stubborn person you will ever meet. But your making assumptions again. I have spoken to people one to one on this forum on improving my work. For every good poem I write, I will write five worse. It happens like that.
Oh and, it's good to have an opinion of your own. You should try it.
"We are animals with problems that no other animal has." - Radam J. Starkiller
And just to make it clear to you Huck, not everything I write is stuck in story telling and explaining my emotions. I posted this some long time ago here.
“Full Moon and Purple Sky”
A new full moon and purple sky
Overlooking sounds of life,
Music blasting from nearby home
A parade of gypsies rattle roads.
The constant threat of silent night
Shot dead in tracks of love and lite,
Desperate times and angered souls
Sleep well in peace in land they roamed.
"We are animals with problems that no other animal has." - Radam J. Starkiller
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