Famous Quoted Line Poetry Contest

[hillwalker]

Thank you all for your wonderful poems so far.
A reminder to those of you still dithering that the closing date for entries is June 1st.
Good luck.

[BienvenuJDC]

Tyger! In the grass, hiding from its prey, no doubt
Waiting to for the time to pounce...
A lagging gazelle never to return to the herd

Tyger! In the den, yearning for escape to go out
Waiting for the toy mouse to bounce...
A whirling can opener, and the liver stirred

Burning bright...
the colors, orange and black to blend
like fire...
dancing on his majestic back...

in the forest...
outside the cottage along the backyard's end
his lair...
his jungle by the cul de sac...

of the night...
these two felines in their own right
live the lives by nocturnal sight...
are they really different, these two cats?

[PrinceMyshkin]

@BienvenuJDC: I much admire the way you broke the original line into its constituent parts, and what you wrote on the whole.

[BienvenuJDC]

@BienvenuJDC: I much admire the way you broke the original line into its constituent parts, and what you wrote on the whole.

Thank you...

[rabid reader]

closed?

[hillwalker]

Closing 15 minutes from now (midnight 1st June) - and I shall post the result as early as possible tomorrow (2nd June).

Thanks everyone for taking part

[blank|verse]

Damn, I started...

The Tiger

Tiger, tiger, burning bright
in the poacher's cross-haired sight:
what amoral world could see
your skin as mere commodity?

but didn't finish! Um, the tiger ate the rest, Sir??

[hillwalker]

Thanks everyone for your splendid efforts - now the judgement :

‘Tyger tiger burning bright…..’ was the line- and it seems to have tickled most entrants’ funny bones which made selecting a winner as much a joy as a chore.

DarkMuse – one of your trademark poems, seeking out and exposing the seductiveness of the dark side. In terms of imagery and expressive language this has to be a strong contender –
BUT somewhere along the way the ‘famous quoted line’ fails to put in an appearance so technically speaking this fine poem fails to meet the competition’s requirements.

Pendragon – I love the sharp, snappy wit of this little poem. Perhaps ‘But’ at the start of line 3 and the second ‘by’ from line 4 could be removed in order to maintain the rhythm. But a near-perfect piece.

Hawkman – what an image; enough to give cat-lovers the vapours. Perfect metre and rhyme throughout – I was, however, left anticipating a stronger final line.

hack – again an amusing take on the tiger image – this time the subtle rhyme is almost camouflaged like a set of stripes within the three verses. Very enjoyable imagery.

Prince Myshkin – first of all, of course, I'm fairly sure there aren’t any tigers in Africa, but that minor fact doesn't spoil the enjoyment of this poem. I loved the rhyming couplet form – paired with the list of animals it reminded me of a modern-day Noah’s ark, but these animals seemed to be on a conveyor belt of courses for the tiger’s dinner.

krymsonkyng – a brilliant image of anthropomorphism; a fedora-wearing, cigar-chewing feline. A touch of the T S Eliots, complete with cleverly symmetrical use of rhyme.

rabid reader – a worthy effort. Some effective use of vocabulary and partial rhyme created an arresting image but the overall sense of the piece became a bit confusing in places.

BienvenuJDC – the layout of this poem is unconventional as regards line lengths and metre, but the rhyme is true for most of its span. What really struck me about this was the clever counterpoint between jungle cat and domestic cat – quite separate at the beginning but almost the same creature in identical surrounding by the end of the poem. And a marvellous final line adds a touch more charm.

blankverse - a wonderful little poem, but unfortunately you missed the deadline by seven minutes.

At the end I had to make a difficult choice between krymsonkyng and Bienvenu – but BienvenuJDC wins by a whisker….. for closing off his poem in such a skilful way. Congratulations

Thanks all – and I hope you enjoyed writing your entries as much as I enjoyed reading them.

H

[Pendragon]

Way to go, Bien!

[BienvenuJDC]

Thank you, Hillwalker. I appreciate your comments and your choosing my poem.

Thank you, also, Pendragon.

I have chosen a line from the great Scottish Poet, Robert Burns', To a Louse:

Ye ugly, creepin, blastit wonner,
Detested, shunn'd by saunt an' sinner,

Have fun with this one. The deadline will be July 1st. That will give you all a whole month.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Bienvenu: I heartily concur with Hillwalker's decision & his comments on your witty poem. I'm somewhat apprehensive how contestants might respond to the Scottish dialect in your next proposal.

[hillwalker]

Hoots mon?

That's the sum total of my Scottish dialect - and I actually live in God's country.
Rabbie will probably be spinning in his grave but I'm sure we're all going to have fun playing with these lines!!

[BienvenuJDC]

For those who find it too much a struggle, here are some cheat lines:

You ugly, creeping, blasted wonder,
Detested, shunned by saint and sinner,

But I'd love to hear us use the original.

Here is the poem, To a Louse in its entirety.

[Dark Muse]

Congratulations to Bienvenu!

But Kry I have to say your poem was my favorite for being the only other person not to take the line litterally.

[BienvenuJDC]

Thanks Prince & DarkMuse...

I wanted to add the paragraph that explained the inspiration for Burns' poem, but I decided not to. Reason: I don't want to affect your inspiration too much. We will leave it at that, but if your desire is to seek Burns' poem more in depth, then the poem, paragraph and more is available in the link in the post above.

Remember, there are no hard rules in poetry.