for Andrzejka
You are the glass,
half-empty
or half-full,
it doesn’t matter.
You are the glass
that contains the water.
I hold it to my lips
and sip.
I long to drink deeply
but I sip
and sip.
I don’t know whether
the water will nourish
or transform me.
You are the glass
You are the glass.
This is beautiful! I understand the water as the ecstasy/wisdom you get from having a relationship with the person. Having the longing but simultaneously putting of by some fear or preservation is what keeps the "sip and sip".Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin
I do have the curiosity to ask: if the "you" now has no water, does it matter if your "lips" still hold onto the glass?
Thank you, but I never intended to suggest that the speaker has no water, but that he drinks it slowly, sip by cautious sip. One could, of course, drown in love - or swim in it!
This is just beautiful, so simple, yet so sublime.
This is my favorite:
"I don’t know whether
the water will nourish
or transform me."
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka
It is beautiful Prince, I wish I had written it.
"Remember, we are all in this alone." - Lilly Tomlin
Dear Qimissung and Hack: thank you both. As for the simplicity of it, Qim, although I sometimes envy the richness of some of the other poets here, writing as simply as I can is something that has evolved. I'm nervous at times that it may look so easy - which in fact it often is! - but I've long outgrown the Puritan Ethic according to which only that which was difficult is of any worth.
It is wonderful. I wish I could find better words, but it left me speechless.
love
Kate
"real
loneliness
is not
necessarily
limited to
when
you are
alone"
-C. Bukowski
As ever, amazing, deep, thought provoking... How do you do it Prince?
Beautiful. Just....beautiful.
.
...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.
This is a nice piece, but that old saying, "Do you see the glass as half-empty or half-full?" always bothers the bejeezus out o' me.
Why is it always only "half"?
'Cos "three-quarters full" or "three quarters empty" defies anything except, perhaps, Quantum Math.
It seems I'm always the fly in the ointment on your threads so, true to form, I'm going to say this poem is technically perfect as always but also rather clinical. I'm hard pressed to call this a relationship or romantic poem.
At first I thought of a child with a sippy cup following Mom around the house asking for more. In the end I thought - the N in this poem imparts little more than ambiguous feelings about the subject which is great if that is what you intended.
I can also appreciate that you seem to prefer to make observations rather than show any vulnerability in your writing. That's fine but, if you only ever dip your toe into the water it's true you won't drown but you also won't know the exhilaration of the swim. Most writers I known have to fight to keep too much emotion and angst out of their poetry. I see the opposite in your writing.
As I mentioned at the beginning - technically and grammatically flawless as always so - another gold star but perhaps you might consider that some risks are worth taking even if the critical acclaim is less than you are used to. I think that's where growth happens. This is all of course just my opinion (as they say on the writing workshop sites) " to be considered or tossed".
____________________________
ps: I'm sure it was just an oversight but you forgot to respond to paperleaves, Sampson and symphony when you posted a reply to AuntShecky.
Bonne journée!
I haven't previously felt that you were the fly in my own (or anyone else's) ointment, and I may summarize the essence of your response - that this poem failed to move you - that is interesting to hear...[QUOTE]
"What is vulnerabilty" to paraphrase Pontius Pilate but, unlike him, I will gladly stay for an answer - except that, surely, each of us feels and expresses vulnerability in his or her own way? I took what I felt was the risk in this poem of stating to the subject that I wished I loved her in the way I believe she wanted/deserved to be loved, but alas I did not...I can also appreciate that you seem to prefer to make observations rather than show any vulnerability in your writing. That's fine but, if you only ever dip your toe into the water it's true you won't drown but you also won't know the exhilaration of the swim. Most writers I known have to fight to keep too much emotion and angst out of their poetry. I see the opposite in your writing.I struggle pretty constantly between my love of writing poetry for the potential of expressing truth, beauty &c. - and my damnable wish to be appreciated
As I mentioned at the beginning - technically and grammatically flawless as always so - another gold star but perhaps you might consider that some risks are worth taking even if the critical acclaim is less than you are used to. I think that's where growth happens. This is all of course just my opinion (as they say on the writing workshop sites) " to be considered or tossed".
Thank you for the preceding. Will get on to that immediately!____________________________
ps: I'm sure it was just an oversight but you forgot to respond to paperleaves, Sampson and symphony when you posted a reply to AuntShecky.Bonne journée!Oh, and have you stopped practicing sign language, my lovely, beloved friend? Thank you.
If I were to stop and ask myself how I do whatever I do, I might never do it again! Thank you for your appreciation.
Always grateful for your appreciation - especially in view of my great respect for your own poems, your unmistakable voice - now, alas, somewhat mute in the face of the cold Canadian winter
Last edited by PrinceMyshkin; 03-29-2010 at 07:38 AM.
Why do you do that Prince? Is it to increase the number of replies your poems have or just to keep your threads at the top of the page. Most people reply to all comments in one message. This is kind of transparent.
Yes, I've been guilty of that in the past, but I've abandoned that practice. In this case, I'd simply overlooked those earlier responses. I spend a lot but not the whole of my time on the internet.
Last edited by PrinceMyshkin; 03-14-2010 at 01:37 PM.
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