Inoioioi
Inoioioi
Last edited by whitman; 02-25-2010 at 03:27 AM.
Brilliant! Especially how you managed the villanelle form without ever losing the feeling of spontaneity.
This is wonderful!
"Remember, we are all in this alone." - Lilly Tomlin
Hi pardon me for my lack of understanding, but who is the persona addressing?
Is it "daydreaming,musings and castle in the air"? Haha, sorry if I sound absurd, but thats what i thought of and I ain't sure if that was the intent of the poet.
I want to agree with Prince and Hack because, I love the language and the fluidity of this piece but I have to also admit, I don't get it. At first I was thinking "make me a friend on facebook" but on a second and third read... I dunno. Still, it's melodic and lovely and there is no real reason for me to fully understand. Nice poem.
I think the ambiguity of the piece centers around rather the person the voice is addressing is actually dead or if the voice is just "dreaming" they've died and is talking about joining them. I'm fairly sure that "not existing on this server" is a metaphor for not existing in life anymore. I'm not entirely sure about the use of the villanelle form because I don't know if each stanza really builds or adds to the repetition which is the trademark of a villanelle.
"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung
"To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists
"I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers
Is it "daydreaming,musings and castle in the air" yes you do sound absurd.
Very good... poetic contemporary art. I like what you did here!
Sorry I missed my chance to comment on this one. I read it and was going to comment later, now it's too late. DANG IT!
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me too... we sometimes need days before we can comment... why did you make it disappear??? there was some excellent thought in it, a rhythm, and beauty! but now, I do not remember... tant pis... and bravo anyway.
Oh good! I thought it was some bizarre new form of poetry that I understand even less than normal poetry
I kept looking at the "poem" and looking at the comments, wondering how on Earth they derived their conclusions!
Last edited by IJustMadeThatUp; 02-25-2010 at 07:03 PM.
"Oh the clever
Things I should say to you
They got stuck somewhere
Stuck between me and you"