* There is some strong language throughout this story. I'm not sure what the concensus is on this forum regarding this, but I feel I should just note that before I start.
EDIT: Okay I see it's blanked out on here. Hope it's not too distracting.
The rain is really coming down now. I wish I'd at least worn a hoodie. I can't be bothered with work, I hate my job. I hate that ****ing smirk on that receptionist as I walk in and her high pitched greeting. Just **** off. I really can't be arsed with it today. What is her name anyway? I've worked there a year and I don't even know her name, something like Tina or Shirley or some **** like that. Why would anyone wear that much make up anyway? Ah **** that's my bus. For ****'s sake. I'm gonna have to walk in this weather, **** me. Maybe I should just turn round now and go back to bed. Nah, what's the point. If I'm going to waste the day I may as well be paid for it. I hope Lisa wears that dress again today, just about gets me through the day that does. What's she doing with that prick Mark anyway. The twat. Ah well.
This road's always busy, surprised anyone gets across it at all. Wonder what time it is? Ah okay it's only half past. Can still make it on time yet. Need a ciggie though. Yeah I think I'll spark up now. ****ing traffic, still can't get across. I'll just walk on a bit I think, won't make any difference. I'm getting drenched here. ****ing hell it's going right through my coat, my shirt, my jeans. I'm soaked for ****'s sake. They'd better have turned the heating up in there. I'm not sitting there freezing cold and soaked through all day, it's not worth it. Should've at least worn a hoodie. Probably wouldn't have made much difference though. I can get across here I think ... oh ****ing ambulance. **** off. Ah **** I have to pay that water bill, forgot all about it. Bastards. Have to pay all that money out, that I earned doing that ****ty job just for ****ing water while they sit around on their arses all day making thousands for doing **** all in some office somewhere. Bunch of twats. Twenty-five to. Plenty of time yet. **** me this traffic is ridiculous.
Look at him, the prick. Who does he think he is the twat, walking around like that. Prick. ****ing prams, nearly ran me into the road there. Why can't people have some pedestrian ettiquette for ****'s sake. Dunno why people are so bothered about kids anyway. Just grow up to be pricks the lot of them. I don't know why they all fall over themselves about kids. Big deal you've had a kid. What makes you so ****ing special? Why should I give a ****? It's like that tart in accounts who got knocked up twice last year. Two different dads as well haha. They all ****ing fall over themselves though congratulating her. Why the **** are they congratulating her? Oh err yeh well done love you had unprotected sex. Congratu-****ing-lations. *****. ****ing kids. Twenty-to. Better get a move on. Why is everybody such a twat? Idiots the lot of them. Still can't get across this road, this is getting insane now. And I'm completely soaked now. Can feel a sneeze coming on, I'm gonna get a cold too in this bastard rain. ****ing traffic. Where's that one from? Holland? Wouldn't fancy his job driving all ****ing night in the freezing cold in that thing, **** knows how many immigrants are hiding in there as well. Think the rain's stopping. Great. Just as I'm about to get in to work it stops ****ing now. Typical.
Jane still hasn't texted me. She can **** off. Why do I always have to be the one to make the first move? It was her fault for ****'s sake. Don't see why I should be texting her when it's her ****ing fault. Suppose I'd better. She'll only get pissed off anyway. Yeah I'll text her now. Nothing big though, I'm not apologising when it's her fault. *****. Wish I could find a girl who wasn't such ... high maintenance. Someone you can just have a laugh with and where not everything's so serious all of the ****ing time. I don't even care that much about looks. Jane's not that good looking really anyway. I mean she is, but she's not that good looking. She's not good looking enough to be acting like such a *****. Yeah I'll text her now. For the best I think. Don't want to get bollocked again.
**** off asking me the time. Haven't you got a watch? Or a phone? If you need to know the time so badly that you have to ask a passing stranger on the street, maybe you should buy a ****ing watch. Could've broken I suppose. Even so you'd still have a phone. Could lose that as well I guess. He didn't though. He's just a twat. They're everywhere. Him, he's a twat. She's a twat. He's a twat with his ****ing North Face ... quarter-to, ****. Better get a move on. Still can't get across this road. What the ****'s going on? I'll stop here. See if I can get across. Why is there so much traffic? Where the **** is everybody going? To their ****ty jobs so they can earn their ****ty wages to spend on their ****ty lives. Still not getting across here. Bastard lorries. Yeah I'll text Jane now. She'll bollock me either way, so it's better to just to text I think. Yeah. I'll just say I'm running late and the weather's being a twat. That'll do. At least she can't accuse me of not texting her. I hate her sometimes. I just want someone who's ... yeah that'll do. I'll send that. Oh for ****'s sake this traffic! I'm never getting across. Where's the ****ing traffic lights? Must be down here somewhere. I'll walk down a bit.
Ten-to. Gonna be late. ****. Jim's gonna bollock me. The ****. Hate him. That's definitely a wig the fat ****. The way he perves at the girls too. Prick. Like he'd ever have a chance. He probably would actually, he's got money, they don't seem to mind what you're like if they have money. All the same. I'd kill to be rich. To be properly rich. So rich I could just **** off from here. Somewhere hot. Don't care where. They can all **** off. If I had money ... maybe I should phone in to say I'll be late? Nah **** it. I'll just be late. I can't be arsed. Jim can **** off anyway if he says anything to me. Prick. Where are these traffic lights? At least it's starting to get sunny now. Might have a chance to dry off before I get in. Not sitting there soaked all day. Oh **** off with your Porsche you prick. Flash twat. Ah there they are. Finally. Can get across now. Think I'll spark up again. Might be able to sneak a couple more in before I get in. If I'm gonna be late there's no difference between ten minutes and half an hour. **** it. If I can actually get across this road anyway. Why aren't the lights changing? Should be more crossings on this road anyway for ****'s sake. Dunno why it's so busy.
Five-to now. Tina or Tracey or whatever the **** her name is. She can **** off. I'm just gonna snarl her if she even tries to look at me. *****. Better ring in I suppose. I'll leave it yet. Wait a few minutes. Still not changed. Maybe it's broke. Wouldn't surprise me. Bastard council. All sit there on their arses all day eating ****ing hob nobs that we pay for. Twats. Wish I could move. Somewhere hot. If i had money ... finally it's going to red. Can actually get across now. Bastard traffic. They should do something for ****'s sake. What's going on here? What's with all the sirens? Bastard police. Probably chasing someone with an out of date tax disk or some **** like that. Do they need 3 cars? Twats. Oh **** off. Bunch of ****s. I have to wait again now. **** off! Just ... **** off! Bastard police. ****ing traffic. Is there any need? It's nine now. ****'s sake. Jane hasn't texted me back. *****. Knew she wouldn't. And it was all her fault. She's probably still pissed off. And she'll blame me. *****.Wish I could find someone ... else. Less hassle. Lisa would be nice. **** knows how that twat Mark got her. The prick. Maybe I should phone in now. Yeah probably better to. Just say I'm running a bit late. They can't do anything about half an hour. It's only half an hour. I can make it up. Jim can **** off though the prick.
Wish I'd stayed in bed. At least it's vaguely sunny now. Can't be arsed. Maybe if I step out in front of one of these cars ... ****ing traffic. Wouldn't have to be so bad. Just clip my leg or something so I can have an excuse. Might get a week or two out of it on full pay. That'd be cool. Five-past. Have to remember to pay that water bill. Need a piss. Been here twenty minutes and I still can't get across. ****ing hell this is ridiculous now! ****ing traffic! Why is it so busy anyway? I can't be arsed. Seriously. Maybe I should just walk back home. Go back to bed. Need money. Hate this job.
Half-past. What's going on? Why can't I get across? It should've eased off a bit by now. This is getting weird. I'm just going to walk back. Go back to bed. Yeah. That's the best thing I think. Starting to feel a bit sick. Think I'll have another cigarette. Need to get some more on the way back. Need a drink too. I don't feel well at all. Yeah I'll just start walking back. Traffic's just insane. How can I not get across the road after an hour? That's just weird. Something's going on. Yeah I'll start making my way back. Jane still hasn't texted me. Maybe I should text again? Maybe something happened. I don't know. She could've just overslept or something. She's probably just mad at me though. Probably yeah. Yeah that'll be it. I hate fighting with her. I hate her sometimes but ... I really feel unwell. Maybe I should just sit down for a minute. I saw a bench here somewhere before. Yeah I'll just sit off for a bit when I see it. Better phone work. No I'll get back first, then phone them. Just say I felt really sick and had to go home. I'm sure Jim will understand. Yeah maybe I'll have tomorrow off too. Get a doctor's note. I definitely feel sick. Something's going on. How can I not get across? That's just weird.
Wonder what time it is? My watch has broken. Typical. Still no text from Jane. I'd better text again. Maybe I should phone her? Not yet. Maybe later. She'll still be pissed off at me. Hate fighting with her. Oh god I really love her. Hate fighting with her. Hate it. Wish she was here. Where's this bench? This road seems to go on forever. I do feel sick. I thought I did. Something's definitely not right. Battery's going on my phone. Oh god. Should've charged it last night. I'm such an idiot. Why is there so much traffic? At least I'm dry now. That sun is really coming down. Dried right through. Getting kind of hot now. I wish I hadn't upset Jane. I hate upsetting her. I don't know why I do it, I'm such an idiot. There's that woman again. Why's she kept the hood up on her pram? Poor kid must be baking now. Poor kid. Is that my phone? Ah no it's just the battery. Should've charged it. Idiot. Where's this bench? I need to sit down, I definitely don't feel well. I just want to go back to sleep.
That one looks French. Maybe it's wine or something. Probably some people in the back of that too. Can't imagine that. How desperate must you be? Poor people. If only Jane would text me. I'll phone. I can't take it now. I'll just phone. Put things right. Yeah that's the best ... can't focus. What's going on? Can't even ... move my fingers. Something's definitely up. That sun's really beating now. I'm boiling. Need a drink. Need a drink. Something's up. This is weird. I'll phone if I can just ... I just can't ... move ... oh god. I need to sit down. I'll just sit here. The pavement is kind of ... it's not that wet ... I'll just sit here. I can't take it. I need to rest. Why is there so much traffic? I don't get it. I'll just sit here for a bit. Maybe lean back. Wonder what Jim's thinking? Where is this bastard? Can't even get into work, why do we need him? He'd be right too. What kind of a man am I? I wonder what the time is.
I'm not sure how anyone can walk in high heels. Why do women do it? Men don't care about shoes. She has nice legs. Bit too tanned for this time of year maybe. I need a drink. Why is it so hot? Where did my coat go? Maybe I'm lying on it. I don't know. It's not here. I wish Jane was here. I wish ... where did all these feet come from? I just want to ... there's no traffic now! I could have made it. I could have made it. I really could. I could have made it. I'm so hot. I'm so thirsty. Maybe I'll just close my eyes. I wonder what the time is? Maybe I can ask somebody. Yeah that's what I'll do. I'll ask the next ... what am I doing here? Why can't I move anymore?
It must be getting late now. I wonder where these people are taking me. It actually turned out to be a nice day in the end ... after all that rain. Sun shone all day. It was lovely. I just wish I could see Jane. Just hold her. Tell her how much I loved her. Tell her how sorry I am. Tell her how great we could be together. Tell her how much I care about her. Just hold her. I just wish I could see Jane. They dump all sorts down here. How do they even get a trolley down here? And that pram ... someone could use that. Man I am hot. Something's going on. I'll charge my jacket when I get in and ... that's definitely a wig. Not sure why you'd put a wig on that anyway. Not like he'd need a wig anymore. Not where he is. Poor guy. It's all so unfair. I'll just lay here. The ground is kind of ... muddy ... I don't mind though. I just want to lay down. I wish I'd stayed in bed. I need to make changes. I can't go on like this. I could ask him the time maybe. Nah he's busy. Don't want to disturb him. I'll just lay here. If I feel around ... maybe I can find a hand I can hold.
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