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Last edited by Dinkleberry2010; 02-06-2010 at 11:54 AM.
Hm, Jer.. hm.
Thankyou.
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Last edited by Dinkleberry2010; 02-06-2010 at 01:44 PM.
It touched me in more ways than one...
Great story simple but straight to point of the story.
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Last edited by Dinkleberry2010; 02-06-2010 at 01:44 PM.
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Last edited by Dinkleberry2010; 02-06-2010 at 01:45 PM.
A blend of Cioran's pessimism and Camus' absurdism. It would a crime to ignore Beckett's `nothing-ever-happens'ism.
I liked it, Jermac.
This sentence contradicts itself - no actually it doesn't.
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Last edited by Dinkleberry2010; 02-06-2010 at 01:45 PM.
The thing about this dude is that he's so damn lucky. He's inept, a good clotter, and young, which means he'll get over it. My Mom used to tell me when I was scratching a scabbed over boo-boo, "It itches because it's healing." That's what you're telling me here at the end. He's itching because he's healing.
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Last edited by Dinkleberry2010; 02-06-2010 at 01:45 PM.
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Last edited by Dinkleberry2010; 02-06-2010 at 01:46 PM.
I'm not sure why, but for some reason all I'm seeing of your story is several x's, like it's been censored. Did you use a weird font on it or what?
"To a great canary; he could sing, though he couldn't fly." - Lucky Luis' toast to Abe Reles' mysterious death, the night before he was supposed to testify against his former partners.
I love the authors use of the x as a metaphor for his desire to kiss. By using 5 x's instead of just one, he asserts that he wants to kiss alot rather then a little. This is very important to the central theme of kissing, as it shows that one kiss is probably not going to be enough for the main character.
If the author had used O's however, instead of the X, his story would have a very different connentation. Five hugs is an accessive amount of hugs for one person generally, and I think it is for this reason that he has chosen to use X's as the lead plot in his story.
My advice to the author would be to flesh his story out a bit more, possibly by adding a < and a 3 towards the end, this would convey love, and would add to the metaphor, drawing the reader in by making them question if the heart is meant as a romantic gesture, or as a loving gesture in a plutonic way.
you make a valid point nax.
furthermore the symbolism of a simple : and ) would create a feeling of a simplistic style of happiness, something that in our modern weeriness we have come to forget. also the notion that this happiness can lead to sadness by a twisting of the ) to a ( is equally perplexing.
you have created an ideal story my friend and as nax rightly points out - simplistic in nature, but very assertive.