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Thread: The best of a rainy winter morning...

  1. #1
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    Fear of death goes

    Fear of death goes unpunished,
    invisible, if felt,
    seldom processed through:
    when baby screams to be fed
    when you turn the last page of a book
    when I cross the street, rather hastily,
    when Love wears a new face, against all reason,
    when child enters a dark room.

    It lays its freezing paw on a hunted prey,
    on domestic hen, feet up before slaughter,
    on a bark, when the trunk cracks.
    Indistinctly.

    Yet living is the strongest emotion,
    (and what if by nature it is vulnerable!)
    a stride, rarely gracefully taken –
    (we possibly overindulge monster time’s games) -
    toward the place of (rusty) Memories
    about our right to last by renewal…
    where contained, though still untrained
    is: Living fully,
    as opposed to: I miss you Life already.

    We can be hemmed in or we can face
    Raw anxiety
    By deciding to make the best of a rainy winter morning.
    Last edited by Bar22do; 11-21-2009 at 07:49 PM.

  2. #2
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    I'm an awful critic but I love the imagery throughout this to the point that its meaning is of no consequence to me!

    thank you

  3. #3
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    .. and I am grateful for the moment! it was my very first post, and you are my first critic!
    thank you!
    (I am going to look for your poems as soon as I understand how it all functions here...)

  4. #4
    Original Poster Buh4Bee's Avatar
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    The poem has a lovely message with a nice rhythm. Welcome and thanks for posting!

  5. #5
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    The rainy winter morning is a really beautiful poem and it in fact kind of transported me to a time and place I was too young in a village far from the hustle and bustle of a city life. I really am moved by images the poet has used. It is really fabulous and got me totally absorbed

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

  6. #6
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    Jersea, Blazeofglory I need to apologize for having omitted to thank you for your comments... but, better late than never! - am grateful for your words (Delta thanks again!)

  7. #7
    flung (but not far) hack's Avatar
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    Bar,
    I liked this very much. I appreciated the imagery, the encouragement, and the courage that that implies. There is much to do before death "lays its freezing paw on a hunted prey". Only fortune determines the fraction that can be accomplished. I go now in an attempt to increase my fraction. We will speak again, Insha'Allah, or as they say in my neck of the woods," good Lord willin' and the creek don't rise".
    "Remember, we are all in this alone." - Lilly Tomlin

  8. #8
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
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    Carpe Diem! Very nice Bar!

  9. #9
    answers rhetorical ?'s
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    A wonderful first post! I'm no worthy critic, but I really liked it!

  10. #10
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    I like how this progresses. Love the way you put this together:.

    is: Living fully,
    as opposed to: I miss you Life already.

  11. #11
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    Thank you all - Hack, Sophia, Skib, Firefangled for your comments and appreciation! It is so constructive and stimulating to read your feed-backs; the sky of the solitude takes on an apricot-pinkish tint...
    Hack, you wrote: "Only fortune determines the fraction that can be accomplished" - and yes, if you imply also what I understand you do, every new genuine poem increases the fraction, whatever the fortune... A good day/night to all!

  12. #12
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    "To be is a blessing. To live is holy."
    A.J. Heschel

    Well illustrated in your own words!

  13. #13
    King of Dreams MorpheusSandman's Avatar
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    This is a great piece that I interpret as being about the the risk we place ourselves in when we dare to live, and yet we never feel more alive than when we're closest to death. While we may hide ourselves away and gain a high degree of comfort it almost defeats the feeling of living at all. I love how in your piece life and death seem to walk side-by-side; clearly eying each other from across the street, waiting, but never quite meeting. Quite excellent, really.
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung

    "To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists

    "I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers

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