i've managed to string together my coursework. (a text transformation- taking Helen Burns' character, and writing a monologue from her point of view, as she witnesses Jane's life from heaven).
I am seriously lacking in creative skills, and find writing fiction incredibly difficult. If anyone would mind just reading over this, tell me where i'm going drastically wrong, i would be so appreciative.
I have really struggled witht this coursework, and can see this piece is currently not too great, but would really value some comments as to what i can do.
I know it's cutting short so many of Jane's important milestones, and missing some out altogether, but i have a ridiculous word limit.
Thanks in advance.
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She is a different girl than the one I left, different to the child who cradled me as I died.
“Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate you and despitefully use you.” I sincerely hoped Jane would remember this always. Jane. My dear Jane. So young, so wild, so fiery. Yet willing to listen, to understand. She would miss me, of that I was sure, just as I would miss her companionship. I am here, ____, and yet I fear for Jane’s loneliness. Oh! I know that our Father will care for her and keep her from harm! Yet I worry she despises her solitude.
It was my turn, that was how He wished it, and how it had to be. I was happy to be here, in the arms of my Father, my Saviour, and yet, somehow I yearned for Jane’s company. It deeply saddened me that it would be many years until we could converse again, but the joy I felt when she would succeed, and mature, was unparalleled.
The month of May brought with it the disease. Oh I was not the only one, and I am accompanied here by many of my schoolmates. (?) I see Jane grieve, less now than then, and it saddens me. I am at peace now; I am free finally of the frightful coughing. I no longer feel inanis. I died comfortably, slumbered in her arms.
I watch as she proceeds with her days, retaining her composure, growing more by day. I see the kindness in her heart, and am confident in her character.
The day she left Lowood to begin the journey to Thornfield, was the day it begun. I had known Jane was safe at Lowood, and drifted away, but on that day, I felt her call out to me, and knew I must protect her, and be her companion.
I witnessed as she bade farewell to Bessie, a new fire of hope alight in her heart. I must confess, i could not understand her need to go to Thornfield, but i knew God was placing her there for a reason.
On Jane’s arrival at Thornfield, I was greatly pleased to see that no kinder temperament than that of Mrs. Fairfax would be easily found, and in such a respectable hall! I was greatly pleased, but as time bore on, a feeling of dread would settle itself in my stomach, irremovable, though I could see no pending disaster. Despite, Grace Poole, Thornfield was a comfortable place, and Jane was content with her chamber. Jane was soon comfortable at Thornfield, and settled herself into a steady routine. But I perceived Jane wished for more, for fire, for excitement.
Her excitement began on a cold morn in January. After a pleasant walk to –shire, i saw Jane quite startled by the clattering tumble of a man and his horse ___ to the ground. Her compassion shone through to this injured stranger, who quizzed her on her place of residence. Little did my dear Jane understand that this was indeed Mr Rochester himself! And she was to have many further acquaintances with the gentlemen during her stay at Thornfield.
Mr Rochester frequently requested Jane’s company, and found himself unable to prevent himself bearing his secrets to her. Soon they became great friends, and i watched them both as they would anticipate their meetings. No longer did each find the other plain, but cheering. It took little time, 8 weeks to be precise, for love to bloom, though, of course, hidden by both parties. I had never understood the need for human love and compassion, and had always found that God provided me with all I needed, but witnessing these feelings mature, I did understand.
The night it occurred to me what was unsettling me, was the night Mr Rochester’s life was saved, by Jane herself. That same demonic laugh that often echoed Thornfeilds halls, was __. Expecting to see Grace Poole, I was surprised, as the OWNER? of the fiendish laugh, was not Grace Poole, but a dark wild haired woman. Horror struck me as I witnessed this madwoman take a candle to mr Rochesters room, and alight it. I urged Jane, who was AWAKE, to help the poor man, but my efforts were futile. She was not aware of my pleads, but still her curiosity TOOK CONTROL, and as soon as she left her chamber, was aware of the strong stench of burning. Discarding all her thoughts she hastily attempted to rouse Mr Rochester, as his chamber blazed around him.
After this event, Mr Rochester had a new respect for Jane, it was true, and he found it difficult to depart from Jane. Calm Jane, who would never allow her manner to become unchecked, but inside, was burning with a million questions.
Even Jane could not comprehend her emotions, could not realise she was falling in love, for she hid, nay, denied her feelings their freedom, but she did note the disappointment she felt when it was revealed he would be away for some days, in the company of a lady named Blanche Ingram, rumoured to be beyond beauty. Jane strongly scolded herself for her disappointment, and I yearned for her to know that Rochester could not see Miss Ingram’s beauty, for it was Jane he wanted. Rumours reached her of his intent to travel to Europe for over a year, and her levels of dismay were difficult for even Jane to hide. However soon after, Mr Rochester did indeed return to Thornfield, bringing with him many elegant guests, who, whilst beautiful in person, were less attractive in character. Cruel words were spoken towards Jane, and though she would not express her hurt, I could see the words struck her. This hurt was furthered when she learnt of plans for Mr Rochester and Miss Ingram to be wedded. I longed to console her, as I knew these plans bore little truth. There had been talk, it was true, but Rochester knew of his love for Jane, and could not bring himself to enter a marriage, solely for social standing.
Rochester was presently called away on business, and the arrival of a Mr Mason during his absence unsettled Jane indeed. On his return, Rochester seemed to mimic Jane’s discomfort when he learnt of Mason’s arrival.
Soon, my dear Jane received a letter bearing ___ news. Mrs Reed, the aunt who had scorned her so many years ago, lay on her deathbed. Of course, Jane had to return to see her, and I feared that the anger and the hate she had expressed to me, all those years ago, may still exist, and reveal themselves. But I was wrong. Jane composed herself, and found forgiveness in her heart. Her efforts to reconcile with Mrs Reed were futile, as Mrs Reed still expressed certain hostility towards Jane. However Jane was presented with a letter, dated 3 years back, from a Mr John Eyre, an uncle, who intended to bestow his fortune to Jane.
Jane was away from Thornfield for a month, and it grieved Mr. Rochester to be away from her. Upon her return he quizzed her as to her taking a month leave, when he allowed her only one, but could not remain upset at her for long. It pleased Jane that plans for mr Rochester’s wedding seemed dormant, and allowed herself to hope the match had been called off. Of course, Rochester had quelled any plans, he could not lie to himself any more. He requested Jane’s presence more frequently, his demeanour significantly improved.
It was a warm evening, when Jane and Mr Rochester conversed in the gardens. Oh! He is a kind gentleman indeed, but oh so wicked also! For he convinced Jane that he was indeed marrying Miss Ingram, only to evoke the response he required. For she wept when she learned she was to be parted from him. Her love she confessed and he confessed it back. Rochester offered her his hand, his wealth. I felt uneasy witnessing this scene, as though, it was too intimate for any other’s eyes. I revelled in joy for my Jane, but once again, I felt the unexplained dread in my pit of my stomach.
The month of planning soon passed, and Jane’s wedding day drew nearer. On one frightful night, I heard the demonic laughter once more. The mad woman again, she entered my Jane’s chamber, and I feared, I feared that she would attempt the same as she had with Mr Rochester, those months back. The wild girl retrieved Miss Jane’s veil from her ___ and tore it
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Just a note, the random ____ is where i cannot think of the correct word to use at the moment, but am working on it.