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Thread: ~I Don't Want to Write a Bad Poem For You~

  1. #1
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    ~I Don't Want to Write a Bad Poem For You~

    I don't want to write a bad poem for you.
    One that is flush with forced rhyme
    and passe ideas
    scraped from the brain
    of an unknown whose future
    shall remain dubious.

    I don't want to write a bad poem for you,
    even though others have,
    and others will hand you theirs
    and you will love them
    as I sit and revise these lines
    over and over again
    while the muses
    hold their stomachs
    in laughter.
    Last edited by DanBierce; 11-29-2009 at 03:28 PM.
    "People who believe a lot of crap are better off." Charles Bukowski

  2. #2
    C. R. Leverette thepoet777's Avatar
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    This poem is so sorrowful to me. I can feel so much emotion from it. Very well written.
    Visit http://writing.com/authors/sorrowextinct for more of my writing.

  3. #3
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    There is something left unsaid or even not adequately hinted at in this. The title andits repetition before each stanza speak eloquently of your love for her but both in the reference to her appreciating the "bad poems" that others might write or have written for her, and in the muses laughing at you, there are hints of inadequately expressed anger...

  4. #4
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    PrinceM's: "...but both in the reference to her appreciating the "bad poems" that others might write or have written for her, and in the muses laughing at you, there are hints of inadequately expressed anger..."

    I think this 'inadequately expressed anger' is natural and in place here (it also adds to poem's tension), for how a man in love could possibly overtly admit, without having to renounce his feelings, that his chosen one is but a silly goose! (and the trap of the situation amuses the nasty muses...)
    A good poem! Thank you!

  5. #5
    Registered User cogs's Avatar
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    to me, the fact that he revises, means that he cares enough to not offer what others do, who are trying to impress. it's the contrast between shallow and deep love. this poem does have an implied message.

  6. #6
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cogs View Post
    to me, the fact that he revises, means that he cares enough to not offer what others do, who are trying to impress. it's the contrast between shallow and deep love. this poem does have an implied message.
    I'm going to respectfully disagree (or at least offer my interpretation). I read this from the point of view of the "intended recipient of the never coming love poem". I suspect she would welcome and love it even if it was bad. I read Dan's poem as more the N's fear of committing, stalling, an excuse as to why he has not finished her poem yet. He either does not feel worthy (as the first verse indicates) or, is afraid to make his love known to her. A Cyrano de Bergerac and Roxane undertone.

    I don't want to write a bad poem for you,
    even though others have,
    and others will hand you theirs
    and you will love them
    I really really like this Dan (even if my interpretation is way off)!

  7. #7
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    Thanks, everybody. Glad you all got something different from this. I think that's common when it comes to poetry. Most prose pretty much is what it is and says what it says, but a lot of different things can be taken from a poem.
    "People who believe a lot of crap are better off." Charles Bukowski

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