This response is about "Sounds No Worse Than Cheers",
story number fourteen on this thread of yours.
Ahh, the irony. So, kid gets his football
team into the playoff but then he is
kicked off the team because he wasn't
excited enough in front of the cameras?
He isn't a cheerleader... shouldn't his
scorecard determine whether he can
proceed with his teammates into post
season? I do not approve.
I score this short 49 points because your
chararters are infuriating.
that was
This response is about "Presence",
story number fifteen on this thread of yours.
So, "Presence" is supposed to be a pun of sorts, I'm guessing. On your part, at least. The soup and PB&J sandwich is the "present". I noticed your previous use of puns, so perhaps this wasn't intentional, just a natural thing to do without noticing. Anyways, I don't know really what to get out of this story other than it reads like a half chapter out of a missing novel or something. Nothing much really happens. The novelty of this story is that it is Christmas Eve and the young boy is camping out on some empty property? That don't sound right. What parents wouldn't question this sort of behavior? The cop was right, why the hell are you out here on Christmas Eve. I don't care what permits you got. So, the thing with this one is that unnatural behavior isn't really questioned or scrutinized enough and sort of offered passively like yeah, it's not normal but it's not not okay. Alright, whatever. Let's get to the next one.
I score this story 46 points because so far, it's the worst of yours that I read.
that was
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