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Thread: Turn, Turn, Turn

  1. #1
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
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    Turn, Turn, Turn

    Turn, Turn, Turn*

    Finally, an end to the longest year of my life
    pause and pause and

    pause
    the ventilator starts
    a liquid breath churning
    rippling

    through a famished vein - one
    steeped and undulant morning
    flight, the spirit unearthed

    its artery unwinding in a
    city I have long longed for

    the halves of my lips, fingers, heart
    bridged across the right and left bank.
    ____________________________________

    * Byrds lyrics title
    Last edited by ~Sophia~; 11-01-2009 at 03:56 AM.

  2. #2
    Literary Superstar Pryderi Agni's Avatar
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    Wow...hallucinatory, postmodern imagery. I like it, but of course, we can't understand it. Did you get inspired from the Byrds song?

  3. #3
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
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    Hello Pryderi.... thanks and no. The poem came first, then the title. I'm moving to Paris for a few months... a city that has held my heart for most of my life. A want turning!

  4. #4
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    A beautiful embrace,
    your morning song
    for a place
    you've loved so long.

  5. #5
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    its artery unwinding in a
    city I have long longed for

    This is beautiful and such an imagination that excites as I have no idea where you have cast me!

  6. #6
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    Oh my!! This is stunning Sophia, one of your best. It sent chills down me, especially the ventilator part. My father was on a ventilator for a bit toward the end of his life. I could feel this. [Though as a side note, I'm not sure how the ventilator goes through a vein. Ventilator's go into the bronchial tubes and so the lungs, but I think one can allow for what i call poetic leap. Ultimately the oxygen being fed does lead to the veins, and though the sentence as prose would be in error, as poetry the leap is accepted.]
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  7. #7
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Sophia~ View Post
    its artery unwinding in a
    city I have long longed for

    the halves of my lips, fingers, heart
    bridged across the right and left bank.
    ____________________________________

    Yeah, remember that song! Nice wording here, like it a lot!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  8. #8
    Registered User paperleaves's Avatar
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    Sophia, I love your poetry. Something about the atavistic hunger for complex, sometimes seemingly spiritual images that sprouts from the imagery astounds me. Thanks for sharing
    I enjoyed it.


    love
    paper
    "real
    loneliness
    is not
    necessarily
    limited to
    when
    you are
    alone
    "
    -C. Bukowski

  9. #9
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
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    Thanks firefangled! I have been in love with that city for as long as I can remember.

    __________________________________

    Hi Delta! Into the river Seine (that winds through the centre of the city splitting into a right and a left bank)! Thanks for reading and your generous comment!

    __________________________________

    Virgil, glad you like it and are allowing a little creative license! Thanks!

    __________________________________

    Pendragon, a season for everything, and this is my time to go.

    __________________________________

    paperleaves : I love your poetry too! Thanks and hugs!

  10. #10
    Registered User cogs's Avatar
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    i would have liked to see Seine mentioned, and your comment,"...a season for everything, and this is my time to go." interesting metaphor for the sluggish feeling compared to someone wasting away. i particularly liked the pauses in the ventilator.

  11. #11
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
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    Hi Cogs. I didn't want to mention the city so identifying the Seine felt blatant. I hoped the "right and left bank" were enough of a clue.

    I'm also not writing about a sluggish feeling or wasting away but rather, the postponements and compromises. I wanted to make this move 35 years ago and every following year I thought, I'll go next year. But there were kids and bills and mortgages and there was reality. Now... finally it's time for me.
    Last edited by ~Sophia~; 11-01-2009 at 07:13 PM.

  12. #12
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    And the Byrds took the song from Ecclesiastes. Excellent as always, Sophia. Have a great trip!
    "People who believe a lot of crap are better off." Charles Bukowski

  13. #13
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
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    Thanks Dan and, I didn't know that about the song! Unfortunately I don't leave for another 3 weeks but that's much better than waiting another year!

  14. #14
    Sipping the Tea a_little_wisp's Avatar
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    Oh my dear friend -- following your feet again, eh? In this poem, it's almost as if I feel my own heart creaking to life, wanting to go and go and go... With all of your poetry, you make me want to live more.

    And I swear it's not too late.
    Then she would run until morning to ease the ache; swifter than rain, swift as loss, racing to catch up with the time when she had known nothing at all but the sweetness of being herself.

    -- Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

  15. #15
    Registered User
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    Here's a Bukowski poem I read recently I thought I would share:

    ~Fair Stand the Fields of France~

    in the awesome strumming of no
    guitars
    I can never get too high

    in places where giraffes run like
    hate
    I can never get too lonely

    in bars where celluloid bartenders
    serve poisoned laughter
    I can never get too drunk

    at the bottom of mountains
    where suicides flow into the streams
    I smile better than the Mona Lisa

    high lonely drunken grin of grief
    I love you.
    "People who believe a lot of crap are better off." Charles Bukowski

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