Parental Advice

[papayahed]

I was watching some show the other day, the kids knew by rote some drug facts about a basketball player that tried drugs once and he died from it. Now obviously the parent had been talking about the subject and advising against it actively. I'm assuming the parents did the same about everything else - drinking, sex, etc... Here's my question: As a kid did your parents talk about these issues? And if they did did you listen?

I don't want this to be a debate about legality or morality I'm just wondering how effective parental guidance is vs. peer pressure. Ohhhh, another question - How great was the peer pressure to do things you knew your parents wouldn't like?

[Nightshade]

I was always a goody two shoes, ( according to my mom) and for the most part I tend to follow her advice, but I think generally I agree with her anyway. The biggest break I ahd was the hijjab thing whihc was admittedly alot to do with peer pressure and agains my parents advice and my mum even roped in all sorts of family friends and teachers to stop me and I ignored her. It hasnt turned out bad but the same time I am not sure I would have made the decision to wear it if I had been deciding when I was older, all things given.

As to drugs , well I don't see the point I ge weird enough on a sugar high do I really want to be that out of control? As that was the way my mum pointed it out my answer then was no and still is.

[AimusSage]

You know, they may have discussed it or not discussed it, but I sure as hell didn't listen or I would have remembered, but the thing is, they didn't need to discuss it, I was blessed with the ability to make the right choices myself

[Delta40]

My parents discussed it with me over a cigarette and a beer. they told me not to drink or smoke because it was a stupid thing to do....They gave me their excuse - they didn't know how bad it was for you back then and their parents (hiccup) didn't bother to sit down and tell them like they were telling me. It's because they cared that they told me this. I was more impressed by their demonstration of addiction and followed suit like a good little girl for 25 years....

The moral (even though you don't want one) Our actions will always speak louder than words.

[sciencefan]

My parents did not discuss drugs with me... well except once my father told me not to smoke pot... and that was in the context of he had tried it and found out it wasn't okay. But I am the kind of person who wants to be told by an expert why I shouldn't do such-and-such. Basically I didn't care about my father's opinion. He smoked cigarettes and drank alcohol. I didn't respect him.

My kids have had anti-drug, smoking, alcohol teaching in school. We talk about why it's bad. I don't smoke or drink, so I lead by example.

[1n50mn14]

My mother told me once I turned seventeen, I could smoke, drink, do drugs and have sex with my boyfriend, because it would be out of her hands by then, anyway. (In no way was she advocating any of the above activities, she was just smart enough to realize that her advice was going to go unheeded, and smart enough to realize she couldn't stop me from doing anything.) I didn't listen. I moved out of home at sixteen and did all of the above (well, if you count marijuana as a drug).

My mother is a heavy smoker, got married at the age of seventeen, had a child at eighteen, &etc, so I didn't really find it necessary to follow her example. She wasn't the best person to listen to advice from, as it was selfish advice. Kids need to be informed, and make smart decisions, but they also need to make their OWN mistakes.

[ClaesGefvenberg]

We used to discuss these things (and much more), and I definitely listened. Sometimes I even followed their advice.

/Claes

[Annamariah]

My parents never talked to me about alcohol, smoking, drugs or sex. I guess I was (and still am) so boring they had no need to

I learned about all these things at school and of course from books and newspapers and other sources by myself. My parents never talked about these things, they just showed good example and said nothing (neither of my parents smoke, my father is a teetotaller, and my mother drinks rarely and never much).

[Helga]

my mom talked a little to me about this stuff but not that much, she just trusted me. and she thinks I did as she wanted but I smoked from the age of 13 and untill I got pregnant, I also started drinking around 15. but I never tried drugs even though most of my friends did.
I don't think my mom talking a lot about it would have changed anything I knew what I was doing and even though I hardly drink now I really do miss my pipe!

[Mr Endon]

My parents never talked to me about alcohol, smoking, drugs or sex. I guess I was (and still am) so boring they had no need to

I learned about all these things at school and of course from books and newspapers and other sources by myself. My parents never talked about these things, they just showed good example and said nothing (neither of my parents smoke, my father is a teetotaller, and my mother drinks rarely and never much).

My situation is more or less like this. I firmly believe that if parents educate their children well enough and expose them to sources of information, then they'll learn by themselves. Must be such an awkward conversation, that about 'risk behaviours' or whatchacallem.

My parents are very clever. I don't drink (at all), and my parents keep on trying to make me drink - maybe I don't drink because they encouraged me to try alcohol when the time was ripe. My rebellious (?) teenageness told me to do the opposite of what the parental authority tried to impose on me, and now I'm a boring vice-free young man who must explain to everyone he meets at parties why he doesn't drink (something that even I don't quite know for sure).

[Annamariah]

My parents are very clever. I don't drink (at all), and my parents keep on trying to make me drink - maybe I don't drink because they encouraged me to try alcohol when the time was ripe. My rebellious (?) teenageness told me to do the opposite of what the parental authority tried to impose on me, and now I'm a boring vice-free young man who must explain to everyone he meets at parties why he doesn't drink (something that even I don't quite know for sure).

I don't drink either, and I also always have to explain WHY. I just don't understand why it is so hard to accept that someone doesn't drink alcohol. Why is it normal, acceptable, and even desirable to get drunk at parties and possibly to make a fool of oneself and it's always the one who is sober who's called the freak and has to explain their behaviour?

[Mr Endon]

I don't drink either, and I also always have to explain WHY. I just don't understand why it is so hard to accept that someone doesn't drink alcohol. Why is it normal, acceptable, and even desirable to get drunk at parties and possibly to make a fool of oneself and it's always the one who is sober who's called the freak and has to explain their behaviour?

Beats the hell out of me! I've heard it has to do with social bonding. But I really don't know, I've even done some research on it.

P.S. Jim Gaffigan wonders about it too: 'http://comedians.comedycentral.com/jim-gaffigan/videos/jim-gaffigan---people-who-don-t-drink' [from 01:09]

[Niamh]

I dont think my parents ever sat down and talked to me about Drugs. They didnt really need to. I grew up surrounded by drugs so i grew up seeing the effects it had on peoples lives. There were drug raids on my street every other night, that same family, nearly all of the womans kids because addicts. One died a few years back from pneumonia. He had aids fgot from using a dirty needle. From what i know. And the youngest is trying to stay clean. and it wasnt just them either. there were two blocks of flats beside my house and one of them was riddled with drugs. From what i saw growing up, i knew not to touch them. I read a lot more about them through school and such. I do think however they were obviously the ones to warn about not picking up needles if we saw them lying around. But we werent that stupid.

[Dirtbag]

My parents did not discuss drugs with me... well except once my father told me not to smoke pot... and that was in the context of he had tried it and found out it wasn't okay. But I am the kind of person who wants to be told by an expert why I shouldn't do such-and-such. Basically I didn't care about my father's opinion. He smoked cigarettes and drank alcohol. I didn't respect him.

My kids have had anti-drug, smoking, alcohol teaching in school. We talk about why it's bad. I don't smoke or drink, so I lead by example.

So, did you ever find a pot connoisseur?

[ntropyincarnate]

For me, parental advice made me want to do whatever it was they thought was wrong. So yeah, not quite the effect they were hoping for I don't think.