It was SOOOOO Hot! (How hot was it?)
It was SOOOOO hot that. . .
. . .Crowds sought out formerly ignored fat people just to sit next to them –and enjoy the shade.
. . .Vanilla Ice got his first paying gig in years.
. . .Sports celebrities actually drank the Gator-Ade.
. . .A rabbi, a priest, and a nun joined the Naked Cowboy stripping on Broadway.
. . .People headed to used car lots in droves, just to catch the breeze from the salesmen’s mouths.
. . . Banks too big to fail worried that their frozen assets might thaw.
. . .Community theatres were cancelling their productions of Ninety-Two in the Shade, Steambath, and -Some Like It Hot? No, we don’t.
. . .It was also too darn hot for the devil’s scenes in Damn Yankees, the firemen in Fahrenheit 451, and somebody should help that poor cat and fiddler get off the roof.
. . .Beauticians all along the eastern seaboard frantically tried to scratch off the “h” on their bottles of hair conditioner.
And finally, it was so hot that on the campus of Columbia University, you could fry an egghead on the sidewalk.