A Dramatic Rendering of Our Forum Members

[Miss Darcy]

...a.k.a. Our Play for short.

A very warm welcome to those who have clicked on this thread and are now, consequently, reading it. I hope this promises to be an interesting, creative game. I'll explain the rules.

Note that these rules may be subject to change if we find them unsatisfactory.

Firstly, this is a play game, that is, a game written in the style of a play. It's a little bit like Fiction: The Game, but slightly altered.

One of the main differences is that it's about us. Fictional us, maybe, but using our usernames. See further down for an example.

The rules are only very few, otherwise it's rather self-explanatory. But please remember to

a) Include your own description for a Dramatis Personae. So before your first post, just write a short one. It doesn't have to be how you're like in real life, you can be in a pirate costume for all I care. Just something to give the audience...er...the rest of us...some idea of the characters of the play.

b) Always include yourself in your posts.

c) Oh, and respect others...I think we can joke, though.

That's it. Then you just leave off anywhere you like, and the next person continues, and then they leave off, and so on.

I'll start ...

-----

ACT I, SCENE I

An old-fashioned room lined entirely with books save the place where there sits a desk with a computer on it. Enter MISS DARCY, who is rather tall, with long, brown hair, wearing an expensive black hat, a light brown blouse, and a long, black skirt.

Darcy: [walks over to the window] What a fine day. [A loud thunderclap]

An awkward silence. Enter Jay from other side of stage.

Jay: [puts down umbrella, sees Darcy] Daydreaming again, I see.

Darcy: [turns, grinning] Yeah. I was just thinking about The Literature Network's picnic.

Jay: Hope the weather gets better soon. [Very loud thunderclap]

Darcy: [meditatively] Yes, me too, or it won't be much of a picnic. [pause] Maybe I should write it a get well soon card.

Jay: A what?

Darcy: A get well soon card.

Enter Scheherezade

Scher: [puts down umbrella] Ho, ho! Talking about [very fast] the biological impact of animals enclosed in cages on the average spectator walking through the average zoological gardens...as usual?

Darcy: [Coolly] No, in fact, we were just talking about the weather.

[mono]

What a brilliant idea!
Here goes . . .
------------------------------------------------------
Jay: Scher, I hardly understood a word you just spoke;
Have you spent too much time with imthefoolonthehill?

Scher: Heavens, no! I merely remarked of the animals
Coping with the most hindering weather today.

Miss Darcy: Perhaps such a day to read Virginia Woolf?
I feel reminded of the play, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

Scher: No, please do not make me shudder!

[Enter mono, average height, pale skin, wearing a dark sweater, a time-worn beanie, and a gray back-pack]

mono: Greetings! I hope I did not arrive too late.

Miss Darcy: Not at all, welcome.

Jay: We spoke of the nasty weather today, and Scher's dislike
for Virginia Woolf.

mono: Ah, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, I feel reminded.

Scher: Very funny (sarcastically). Aldous Huxley reads easier, I think.

Jay: No one, I believe, wins over Jeanette Winterson.
My, you're soaked, do you have an umbrelle, mono?

mono: No, coming from a very rainy city, one learns to cope well;
umbrellas end up being strictly for tourists (sarcastically).

(another lightning bolt strikes with a following of thunder)

Miss Darcy: I hope more of our guests will arrive soon and safely.

[Taliesin]

Enter Taliesins. Five of them. Almost identical. All of them are a bit shorter than an average Joe, with lightdark a bit wet hair and wearing light grey jackets and light grey jeans.

Mono: speaking of the wolves...

Taliesin:Pardon?
Taliesin': Are we late, by any chance?
Taliesin1:We have managed to forgot our watches.
Taliesin2*looking around* Seems not.
Taliesin': Very good. But, by the way, what is happening here?

Miss Darcy: We are having a Literature Network picnic
Jay: Just thinking aloud, but how is it possible? We all live in different corners of the world.
Taliesin3: If we were correctly informed, this is but a play and all the forum members are but actors.
Scher: Now that was some heavy romantic irony
Taliesin2: Pardon?
Scher*monotonically, as remembering something that she had learned by heart some times earlier:Romantic irony :when a writer reminds his
reader that it is he who manipulates the fictional universe, then it is romantic irony.
Jay*in a low boice* Livingdictionarydotcom.
Scher:Pardon?
Jay*innocently* : I was just wondering when more guests will arrive

[Taliesin]

We like this game that much that we cannot wait for someone else to post.

-------------------------------------------

Miss Darcy*poisonously*: Have you considered where would we get five identical actors? Thanks to you our play will never be played.
Taliesin: Well, we could use...
Taliesin': ...identical quins...
Taliesin1:...similar actors and cosmethics...
Taliesin2:...computer graphics...
Taliesin3:...mirrors...
Taliesin:...holographs...
Taliesin':...massive amounts of LSD
Taliesin: So no problem there?
Jay: Anyway, why should we fuss about actor-problems, when we don't even have a plot. What are we doing anyway?
Scher: Waiting for amuse and others...
Mono: Don't you thonk Beckett could sue us for plagiarism?
*silence*
*thunderclap*
*thunderclap*
*thunderclap*
The thunderclaps start vaguely reminding the finale of Beethovens fifth symphony.
In all this noise, enter Shea.

[Miss Darcy]

Heh, glad you like it (the game) Taliesin, Mono...

-------

Shea stops just inside the door, silent, in the manner of a robot waiting for commands.

Miss Darcy: [Walks over to the computer and begins typing frantically] Shea - you - have - 10 - seconds - to - write - your - own - lines. [Grabs a microphone and booms into it] 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1....0!

Scher: [sarcastically] Take off!

Jay: [quietly] I don't think she heard you.

Miss Darcy: That's because, firstly, she's not online, and secondly, even if she were...well she can write her lines later. [Gets up from her seat by the computer and smiles angelically] Therefore...

Taliesin: Lights...
Taliesin2: Camera...
Taliesin3: Action!

Shea: [puts down umbrella] Good afternoon, everyone! Hope I'm not too late!

Mono: [cheerful] No, not at all, Shea, sit down.

Miss Darcy: [realises there is only one seat] I forgot to put armchairs in.

Shea: [quickly interposes] It doesn't matter, I don't mind...

Miss Darcy: [thoughtfully] Well we're expecting more people coming, and we don't want to be sitting on the floor in a childrenesque style.

Jay: Couldn't you have just said, "childish?"

Miss Darcy: That would be far less romantic.

Shea: I hate to interrupt but....I was just wondering, how can all of us, from different corners of the world, meet in one place for a...[thunderclap]...picnic.

Scher: It's quite simple, really.

Taliesin': [grins] If we were correctly informed...
Taliesin2: ...This is but a play and all the forum members are but actors.

Shea: Fascinating.

Miss Darcy: Yes. All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players...

Shea: [wonderingly] Miss Darcy...what happened to your miniskirt?

Miss Darcy: [deliberately] I. Disposed. Of. It.

Shea: Pity, it suited you.

Miss Darcy: As does a clown costume suit a penguin.

Mono: [from over by the window] Oh, look, there's Adelheid, Molko, and some others, nearing the door of the ground floor!

Miss Darcy: [alarmed] Then I'm not here. I don't want another theological discussion. I've already had far too many for one ordinary day. Holidays are different, as are Sundays. But right now -

The others cast furtive smiles at each other and then act as if nothing had happened.

Miss Darcy: I'm gone. Call me when the ceremonies are over. [darts over to the wardrobe next to the computer - there is a wardrobe - and disappears inside.]

Jay: [in a whisper] It's as if she was scared of theology.

Scher: Or has used up all her arguments.

All fall silent. Drum roll mixed with thunder. Enter Adelheid, Molko, and three others in a very solemn manner.

Molko: [puts down umbrella with a sigh] What are you lot doing...just standing there like that.

Scher: Nothing...we...we were just absorbing the beautiful atmosphere.

Molko: [tiredly] Uha.

Adelheid: [puts down umbrella and begins in a grave manner] Dear friends...we are afraid to inform you that the Lord has been avenged under the most appalling circumstances.

All stare in a horrified silence except the five at the door. Adelheid now holds up a wet, black miniskirt.

Adelheid: [even more gravely] We are sorry to say that Miss Darcy has left the world in the most tragic manner. She was taken by a lightning bolt.

Taliesin2: [mock incredulous] Really?
Taliesin: Then it burned her up, but not her skirt?

Adelheid: [even more gravely yet] No, our theory is that she was hit twice. The first strike made her insane, hence she took her skirt off, and the second finished her.

Taliesin3&4: We see.

Molko: That is a powerful warning to those who criticise or mock God. He has been righted at last.

All: Amen.

Scher: [rather playfully] I'd like to add this to your hypothesis: Miss Darcy caught a cold before she died.

Adelheid: How's that?

Scher: [goes over to the door, picks up umbrella] Her umbrella has a hole in it.

Mono: A very interesting hypothesis, Scher. However I don't think it is that which proves it.

Scher: You don't?

Mono: No. Miss Darcy...must have left her umbrella here last time she visited. Therefore she was walking in the rain, with no umbrella. Thus, she still has a cold, but for a different reason.

Scher: But she still had a cold.

Jay: And still has.

A muffled sneeze from the wardrobe.

Taliesin's: Bless you.

Mono: Adelheid, let me take your coat.

Adelheid: Thank you, Mono, but I don't need to be waited upon - I can do it just as well myself. [Walks over to the wardrobe, opens the door.]

[Dante'sJuliet]

As Adelheid opens the wardrobe, slowly opening it more, and more, and more. . . there is a brilliant flash of lightning, a loud thunderclap, and in the space of one moment to the next, a person has stepped out of the wardrobe.

Adelheid: . . . . *looks at the woman who has stepped out of the wardrobe*

The woman is rather tall, with a pale face and large, dark eyes. Her dark hair falls loose beneath her long veil. All that she wears is black.

Juliet: (wrist to forehead) When the dark wood fell before me, and all the paths were overgrown. . . *sees that everyone is staring at her* What?

Taliesin': Have you been in that wardrobe the whole time?

Juliet: What whole time?

Taliesin2: The whole time that we have been here.

Juliet: I'm not sure. I suppose so.

Scher: And what, may I ask, were you doing in there?

Juliet: I heard of a lovely place once that you got to through the back of a wardrobe-- Oh, look! BOOKS! *runs to a bookcase, pulls out a random book, and begins to read. This is rather hard, though, since Miss Darcy accidently forgot to add lights, so she can only read when there's a lightning flash*


(I'm sorry if I did a bad job characterizing all of you. . . and I know I did absolutely nothing to enhance the plot. . . but I've only got about five minutes to be online. . . bye. . .)

[amuse]

a reverberation fills the room, beginning in the windows, and spreading to the chests of persons and winter clothes alike. enter amuse, long dark hair straightened, talking hyperanimatedly to her cell phone

amuse: Isagel, i had this dream that Miss Darcy died, whatever could that mean? did she know? do you know? can you ask that nice psychiatrist you work for? the one who gave my dad that frontal lobotomy in the 1960's?

Scher: oh dear, has she been reading again? would someone please hide that copy of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest the next time we visit her for tea?

mono: well, to be fair, Scher, Miss Darcy did just die.

amuse: no, she DID?! i just finished a poem for her.

a giggle is heard offstage. enter imthefoolonthehill

imthefoolonthehill: (looking up from his calculator) due to the quantitative probability of y over p taken to the nth nanometer, it is possible that if one were to view this problem logically, from a logarhythm of base 3, Miss Darcy actually - oh, why in the world of computers cavorting in front of bell chapels on their elbows do i bother? what are we having to eat, again?

amuse: well, Scher?

Scher rummages in her oversack for an ininordinately looooong time then brings out a very tiny, tiny book of 1000 transparent vellum pages

Jay: ooh, did you get that in-

Scher: oh, yes i did

Jay: and does it have-

Scher: oh, yes it does

Jay: does Koa know-

Scher: i believe she does

Taliesin: we would like to know what it has and if it's good for us to eat!

everyone looks at Taliesin in surprise: their voice has never changed so many times in one sentence; it is obvious that they must be extremely hungry and very curious. the odd giggle is heard again. Dante's Juliet breaks the ensuing silence.

[Dante'sJuliet]

---with a very loud scream.

Juliet: No! She didn't! The idiot!

Everyone turns to look at Juliet and see what all the comotion is about. It takes a moment for it to sink in that she is, in fact, yelling at the book in much the same way sane people like to yell at a move screen.

Juliet: No! No, stupid, the other way! *Waves hand frantically to the left*

Taliesin1: Well, that was. . .

Taliesin2:. . . odd. . .

Taliesin'&Taliesin: Oh, we quite agree.

imthefoolonthehill: I don't think I've ever seen anyone do that before.

Scher: It really is very interesting. I wonder why she did it?

Both Scher and imthefoolonthehill take out notepads and start taking notes on Juliet's behavior.

Jay: And for a moment there, I almost forgot I was hungry. . .

A strange, almost ladylike, yet eerie giggle is heard.

Everyone, even the hungry Taliesins and the note-taking imthefoolonthehill, turned towards the wardrobe.

Suddenly it sneezed.

[Miss Darcy]

Thunderclaps galore, lightning flickering on and off as it was undecided between the two...otherwise a dreadful silence.

Mono: [stage whisper] What - was - that?

Nobody moves. Continued silence-broken-by-the-occasional-thunderclap.

Mono: [a little louder, as if prompting some sort of response] What was that?!

Silence.

Mono: [groans] If I'm going to have to repeat this...

Scher: [in a very low whisper] Why isn't she coming...

Taliesin: [in a very coarse whisper] Perhaps because...
Taliesin2: [in a rather loud whisper] Maybe...just because...
Taliesin': ...Just because.

Adelheid: [perks up] What are you lot talking about?

Juliet: [forgets about the book and turns curiously towards Mono, Scher, and the Taliesins] I'd be interested too...

Taliesin: Nothing - just -
Taliesin': [very fast] The chimerical, orthodox phenomenon of the ejection of germs and a substance produced in the mouth to help digestion, how it occurs after walking in the rain without a particular invention that ridiculous people fly with - and - [breathing hard] why this particular phenomenon has just happened in a wooden object used for storage of clothes which should not in any case be exposed to rain.

Adelheid: Pardon?!

Mono: He...I mean, they...just meant...

A loud creak. Everyone stares at the wardrobe. Red smoke billows out from inside it. The sound of coughing/distant thunderclaps.

imthefoolonthehill: [low voice] It could have been worse.

Mono: [mock incredulous] A sneezing and coughing wardrobe?

Smoke gradually clears. Enter DEVIL, with a brown face contrasting spectactularly with very white eyeballs, crooked teeth, horns, and pointy ears, in a long, black coat, from wardrobe. Thunderclaps suddenly sing out the main theme of Beethoven's 5th. The shadowy personage approaches in the semi-lightning-lit darkness.

Devil: [stops] Well what are you staring at? [rather indignant, deep voice]

Amuse: Er...we...we were just...

Taliesin: Well, I never!
Taliesin3: Maybe we should convert. Adelheid...how does one go about converting?
Taliesin4: [interrupting] Never mind converting. If any of you knew how much time and effort has been taken in that...
Talieisin5: You would faint for the make up artist.
Taliesin': It's an impossible feat.
Talieisin: Perhaps not. Aided by the darkness.

Mono: [slowly and deliberately, to Devil] What are you doing here?

Devil: I have been sent on the behalf of one young lady...that is, this is a picnic of some sort, is it not?

Scher: Yes.

Devil: Of some Literature Network?

Adelheid: How on earth did you know?

Devil: It is my business to know anything and everything. But back to the subject - the young lady spoken of said that I might find some of her friends here. She asked me to come here in case any of you might be willing to...

Juliet: [excited] Plead for her?

Devil: Yes.

Taliesin: [aside] I thought that was meant to be the Grim Reaper's job.

Devil: [aside] Well they didn't have the Grim Reaper so this must suffice.

Molko: Was the young lady called Miss Darcy, by any chance?

Devil: I think there is a very good chance of that.

Adelheid: With long, dark hair?

Molko: Lacking a certain garment?

Devil: I don't know what she lacks, but she certainly lacks something.

Adelheid: [sadly] We saw it happen.

Devil: You're witnesses of the demise?

Adelheid & Molko: Yes.

Devil: [produces notepad] I'd like to hear the particulars. Adelheid first.

Adelheid: How do you know my name?!

Devil: It is my business to -

Taliesin: [cheerfully] Know anything and everything.

Devil: Exactly. So, Adelheid...

Adelheid: Well, we were just on our way to the Literature Network Picnic...

Molko: And we saw a figure in the distance ignite.

Adelheid: We hurried towards the spot...

Molko: And found nothing but...

Adelheid: [showing black miniskirt] This.

Devil: I see your account fit each other perfectly. But that is not the true manner in which Miss Darcy died.

Adelheid: But -

Devil: Miss Darcy died of a mix of consumption, pneumonia, and hyper-allergic sneezing. In this room.

All: In this room?!

Devil: Yes. It was admirably well done.

Adelheid: Where in the room?

Devil: That is not the point. The point is, her body has been taken away, and her soul went straight to the gates of Hell, where she began reciting Beatrice from Much Ado about Nothing in a rather alarming manner. Especially as regards to her mention of religious buildings and cuckolds. In fact, she grew rather insulting.

Scher: Act 2, Scene I.

Devil: That might be it. She declared her disbelief in either heaven or our own very mighty Hell...and said that this was just all a dream.

Amuse: That's it! That's what I was dreaming of last night! Miss Darcy was at the gates of Hell...and...

Devil: [cynically] And?

Amuse: Then I woke up.

Devil: Pity. Well to business - she wanted me to ask you lot to testify that she hasn't sinned quite enough for Hell - or [coughs] exactly acted in a way to get into Heaven.

Taliesin: I'd say her greatest sin is her addiction to the science of prankology.

Devil: Be quiet.

Taliesin5: [angelically] We will be.

Complete silence ensues.

Devil: [slightly irritated] I didn't mean literally. So what is your verdict? What does the girl deserve?

Mono: [grins] Perhaps a cup of hot chocolate after her long ride to Hell? [pours Devil a hot chocolate]

Devil: [chortles] Why thank you, sir.

[imthefoolonthehill]

meanwhile, foolonthehill, completely oblivious to the devil's odd entrance, is looking frantically from his calculator to his notebook.

FOOL:
Estella, my dear TI-89, how could you... I thought... I thought we were in
*yells the next line* LOVE!!! No REAL SOLUTIONS!



*the room is silent, people stare at fool's strange outbirst*

Fool: I... I...

*glances wildly around, spots Devil*

Fool: it's all your fault! Your fault!

*pulls revolver from pocket*
*puts four holes into the devil, who simply grins at Fool, unharmed*

*mono clutches shoulder, cries out in obvious, but very non-lethal pain*

*fool tosses calculator in the air, shoots it, then turns the gun on himself, covering Miss Darcy's feet in brain matter*

Devil: yes, my true work here is done.
*snaps fingers*

*imps appear, take fool's body away, shine Darcy's shoes, exit*

[Miss Darcy]

ACT I, SCENE II

Early morning. A graveyard setting. Pink sky backdrop, with leafless birches and black skeletons of trees creating a sombre atmosphere, darkly contrasting with the newborn sky. A small group of people clustered around two separate coffins. A few tombstones set askew on the white, newly-fallen snow. This is not Australia.

Mono: [speaks heavily, bandaged arm weighing him down] This got rather out of hand.

Scher: Rather.

Taliesin: [mournfully] Very much out of hand. Out of your hand. And Fool's hand.

All sigh simultaneously. Enter BISHOP, plump, red-cheeked man with a balding head and flaky white hair. Holds a thick book. Doesn't look like a chess piece.

Bishop: [almost cheerfully] Well? Are we ready?

All: [dolefully] Yes.

Bishop: We are gathered here, in the sight of this congregation...

Molko: Isn't that the wedding thing?

Adelheid: The wedding thing of the eighteenth century, you mean.

Molko: Exactly what I meant.

Bishop: Well I start everything the same. [clears throat] We are gathered here, in the sight of this congregation...to bury this man [motions to the left coffin] and this woman [motions to the right coffin].

Amuse: Hey wait, wasn't Miss Darcy meant to have been struck by a lightning bolt?

Taliesin2: Yeah, but then it turned out that was just a scarecrow. The real Miss Darcy died of consumption, pneumonia, and hyper-allergic sneezing.
Taliesin3: [gravely] This has turned into that thread where one predicts the death of the person above themselves.
Taliesin4: Where did that get to, anyway...

Bishop:...they were good Christians, and we will all meet them in the other place in good time...

Scher: [whispers] He certainly can't remember the funeral service.

Mono: [in a low voice] No more than the organist can remember the funeral march. Whoever it is is playing "Here Comes the Bride" instead.

The aforementioned music booms from the nearby church's walls.

Bishop:...to conclude, they shall be much missed, and we shall send them off with a throbbing heart and a tearful eye.

Taliesin: [whispers] He waxes poetic.
Taliesin3: He looks much moved. We wish we were also so moved by our own services.
Taliesin4: But we don't write services.
Talisin5: Or deliver them.
Taliesin3: That's a point.
Taliesin: There's a first time for everything...

Mono: [looks anxiously at bishop] Be quiet.

Taliesin3: [sad smile] We will be.

A long silence ensues. The gravediggers begin digging. The monotonous throb of the shovels is all that is to be heard.

Amuse: [thoughtfully] But this is a paradox. How can Miss Darcy -

Others: Shh!

Amuse: [lowers voice] How can Miss Darcy not appear in this post without being alive? Considering she is the one, in the end, writing it.

Mono: We'll just have to see.

Taliesin3: [molto dolente] They will be missed.
Taliesin4: [in a whisper] Break a leg, guys.
Taliesin5: You can do it!
Taliesin': Hold on!
Taliesin2: Taliesin's to the rescue!

Scher: I hope you are all aware that one cannot hold one's breath for long without fainting.

Mono: But you cannot kill yourself by holding your breath.

Scher: Though I suppose you could if there were no air.

Mono: Then you wouldn't be holding your breath in the first place.

Scher: I guess not. [looks at sky] Very nice weather, isn't it.

Mono: [grimly] Very.

Shovelling ceases. Gravediggers take Darcy's coffin and heave it into the right hole.

Taliesin': This is going to be a very sad play.
Taliesin2: It's called tragedy.

Bishop: [raises voice after muttering something] Scatter your flowers, everybody, scatter your flowers!

Mono: [tearing a handful of petals off a black - yes, a black - rose and distributing them] You'd think it was a wedding or something.

Jay: Mono, what strange ideas you have. [throws some daisy petals on coffin]

The coffin is soon covered with a medley of petals.

Bishop: [Chants] The blackness of the night encloses us as the rain falls heavily down...

All: Amen.

Bishop: [Chants] Here lie two good Christians who converted 'fore their deaths...

All: Amen.

Bishop: [Gets out of it] Let the dirt be thrown!

Taliesin': [quietly] Have you noticed the holes in both coffins?
Taliesin2: They must have a bad case of mice.

All: Am-

A sudden noise. All turn towards coffin. It sneezed.

[mono]

Taliesin1: Gesundheit.

Taliesin2: Bless you.

Jay: Are coffins supposed to sneeze? And why say 'gesundheit' to the deceased?

Scher: Gesundheit is "used to wish good health to a person who has just sneezed," coming from the Middle-High German for 'health.'

Bishop: Sometimes the late have their final nerve impulses slightly thereafter death.

Amuse: But Miss Darcy died days ago. Doesn't that seem a little late?
We need to free her now!

all run towards the lowered coffin

Miss Darcy: [from inside the coffin] Help! I'm still alive!

Mono: Does anyone else feel reminded of Poe's The Premature Burial?

Molko: I feel a most horrible series of events coming.

the bishop doffs his black overcoat and mask, revealing, again, the devil. Adelheid faints.

Scher: Ah, so, you're behind this again, Mephistopheles!

Miss Darcy: [from inside the coffin, another sneeze] Will someone help? I can't breathe!

Taliesin1: Gesundheit.

Taliesin2: Bless you.

Taliesin3: Is this really necessary of us?

Devil: No one will help her. She is still as good as dead.

Jay: And why not? Why cannot you go play with your pet, Faust, or something?

Amuse: We will help her, actually. Has not Miss Darcy been sent back for some reason?

Mono: Indeed, has not this dramatic fate over-ruled all?

Scher: Or, does fate over-rule evil, to begin with? Does fate necessarily always imply goodness and blessedness on the side of life or death?

Devil: Quiet! She will not return. I will bury her myself, if I must.

[the devil frantically begins burying Miss Darcy's already-lowered coffin]

Miss Darcy: [panicked] Will someone help?

Jay: [yelling, desperate] Somebody help, please!

Molko: Oh my, I can hardly conceive this.

[Adelheid wakes. Suddenly, out of imthefoolonthehill's coffin emerges his conscious, but still deceased body. Adelheid faints.]

Devil: How have you risen from the dead?

Jay: I thought the sneeze came from Miss Darcy.

[imthefoolonthehill's corpse mumbles 'Estella,' but with no sound. He grabs the devil, as he writhes and struggles, down into the coffin. The coffin closes.]

Amuse: Oh my, what have we just seen?

Scher: A metaphysical occurrence of some kind, nonetheless. The coffin holds so still.

Miss Darcy: Is anyone out there? Help! I can't breathe!

Taliesin1: Gesundheit.

Taliesin2: We think this is the wrong time, on second thought.

Mono: Ah, we forgot about Darcy. Quick, let's get her out of there.

[all hoist Miss Darcy's coffin out of the ground, breaking the seal, and opening the lid.]

Miss Darcy: What happened?

[ajoe]

--> is too lazy to contribute and doesn't know enough about the members to write about them anyway

But just want to say someone should write something about simon.

[shortysweetp]

what is noone going to write about me??
but thats ok i still love ya'all

[Jay]

Jay (average hight blonde female in baggy trousers/pants and a loose shirt): Well, you see, Darcy, we all thought you died, and that [points finger at Devil] good-for-nothing wanted to bury you at all costs, then it got somewhat muddled, you're alive, Fool's arguing with his beloved calculator, not even death doing them part, some people, don't want to point fingers or anything [wildly points finger at Adelheid still lying on the ground]... won't you people try to wake her up or something? Where was I...

Scher: That's enough, I think someone else can take it from here, thanks...

Jay: ... oh, I remember now, then...

Scher: ... as I was saying, I'm sure you wanted to sh...

Jay: ... they all seemed to...

Scher [taking out her notepad, talking to herself rather loudly, on purpose]: I think someone's going to write me an essay...

Jay: ... and then... [as the realisation dawns] WHAT? Another one?

Scher [grins Shereradishly]

Mono: I think that's what Scher just said.

Scher: Indeed [keeps grinning]

Taliesin2 [giggles]

Taliesin1 [laughing loudly]

Taliesin4 [to Jay]: See what happens when you don't know when to shut up.

Darcy: Excuse me, I still don't know what's going on here.

enters simon

Simon: Am I late? [looks around] Doesn't look like it. At least there's no bananas around.

Amuse [who was just about to unzip a banana looks at simon, seems to be fighting a no-win battle and after a while hides the banana back into her bag]

Fool: Did anyone of you know that calculators had souls as well?

Darcy [groans]: I think I prefered being dead [walks to ask Devil something]

Jay [glaring at Scher's notepad]: I think...

Scher [raises one eyebrow]

Jay: ... or not.

Scher: 2:0, little girl [cackles insanely]

somewhere from afar a lightning bolt hits the ground

Mono: At least it's not raining.

a heavy rains starts pouring

everyone glares at Mono as total silence is interrupted only by thunder

Mono [looks thoughtful]: Wonder if it works the other way around. [after a glance at the others - and Devil who's now trying very hard to hide inside the coffin looking a bit pale around the edges cursing like a truck driver and rambling something about extinguishing -]... We're all glad it's raining now!

the rain starts coming even more heavy

Mono: Whoops, it doesn't seem to work that way.

enters ajoe

Ajoe: What a nice weather for a picnic

suddenly the heavy downpour is over, the sun is shining, the virds are singing, Devil looks as pleased as punch...

Devil: Now who's this charming yound lady?

Jay: I thought you knew everything [swiftly looks at Scher who doesn't seem to mind]

Devil [fuming]: Of course I do, I'm, just trying to be polite, another essay for you!

Jay: Wish it'll rain again... [looks hopefully at the clear blue sky... nothing's happened]

Mono: You have to...

Devil: SILENCE! No one will EVER mention ANYTHING about the rain episode to anyone, everyone, swear it!

All [nodding their heads, looking innocent]: Yeah, sure [they smile innocently at Devil who seems very pleased with himself for being the baddest villain ever]

after a longish pause...

All [talking at once, but to sum it up]: NO!!! Keep dreaming, lil' boy!

enters Bong followed by baddad

Baddad: Did we miss anything?

Jay [takes a breath and then makes up her mind]

Darcy: Don't ask me, I just found out I died.

Bong&baddad: WHAT?!?