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Thread: There was a woman...

  1. #1
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    There was a woman...


    ...and then there wasn’t.

    What? You’ve heard that story before?

    Wait, there’s more...

    ii

    There’s always more.

    In love
    the rule of entropy
    is sometimes overturned
    and in the transformation
    of matter to energy,
    sometimes,
    something is gained!

    a small gain, to be sure,
    so small you might mistake it for loss:
    a certain degree
    of loss of independence,
    an unfixing of one’s self
    from one’s place.

    iii

    And then - poof!
    - one or the other is gone.

    You can spend the rest of your life,
    if you choose,
    trying to figure out who
    left whom.

  2. #2
    madman kevinthediltz's Avatar
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    A glimse into past loves.
    I enjoyed this prince.
    Everyone knows what's in room 101.


    Everything becomes irrelevant, when the sky tears open.

    "Hey Kevin." "What?" "Theres a ditch there." "Sh*t!"

  3. #3
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    The entire poem is so full of wisdom, and nicely told. However, this in particular is outstanding.

    Quote Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin View Post
    [B][INDENT][INDENT]

    In love
    the rule of entropy
    is sometimes overturned
    and in the transformation
    of matter to energy,
    sometimes,
    something is gained!

  4. #4
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by firefangled View Post
    The entire poem is so full of wisdom, and nicely told. However, this in particular is outstanding.
    Kind of, sort of, somehow feels like a return of the hug I diffidently offered you in my last response to your poem! Thanks...

  5. #5
    Sipping the Tea a_little_wisp's Avatar
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    In love
    the rule of entropy
    is sometimes overturned
    and in the transformation
    of matter to energy,
    sometimes,
    something is gained!
    Briiilliant, Prince! And wise! ... And nostalgic, to me, at least.
    Then she would run until morning to ease the ache; swifter than rain, swift as loss, racing to catch up with the time when she had known nothing at all but the sweetness of being herself.

    -- Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

  6. #6
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by a_little_wisp View Post
    Briiilliant, Prince! And wise! ... And nostalgic, to me, at least.
    Can someone your miniscule age be said to have nostalgia?! Thank you.

  7. #7
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin View Post

    ...and then there wasn’t.

    What? You’ve heard that story before?

    Wait, there’s more...

    ii

    There’s always more.

    In love
    the rule of entropy
    is sometimes overturned
    and in the transformation
    of matter to energy,
    sometimes,
    something is gained!

    a small gain, to be sure,
    so small you might mistake it for loss:
    a certain degree
    of loss of independence,
    an unfixing of one’s self
    from one’s place.

    iii

    And then - poof!
    - one or the other is gone.

    You can spend the rest of your life,
    if you choose,
    trying to figure out who
    left whom.
    There is a stink of philosophy in the last lines of the poem.

    Going deeper and deeper into a realm there is nothing to abandon and to be abandoned and there are mere transactions. Love is a transaction between two and when the transactions get hold on the persons transacting we have all stories of raptures and sorrows.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

  8. #8
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blazeofglory View Post
    There is a stink of philosophy in the last lines of the poem.
    Ouch! There is surely an element of philosophy in just about any poem? You take "Bah, bah, black sheep," for instance. Isn't there some sort of comment in that on the priorities we have?

    Seriously, I'd agree with you if you mean that the last lines of my poem are too blatantly pedagogical or preachy, a fault I'm usually watchful against.

  9. #9
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin View Post
    Kind of, sort of, somehow feels like a return of the hug I diffidently offered you in my last response to your poem! Thanks...
    No, my comment was because I liked your poem and from my experience it was good wisdom.

    This is a ((((hug)))). Nothing diffident about it.

  10. #10
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    I think it's rather nice Prince. And I think the central paradox of the poem's theme is quite interesting. I mean this:
    a small gain, to be sure,
    so small you might mistake it for loss:
    a certain degree
    of loss of independence,
    an unfixing of one’s self
    from one’s place.
    The ambiguity of what is gained and what is lost. Cool and profound actually.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  11. #11
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virgil View Post
    I think it's rather nice Prince. And I think the central paradox of the poem's theme is quite interesting. I mean this:

    The ambiguity of what is gained and what is lost. Cool and profound actually.
    Many thanks, Virge & Firefangled. Just finished reading a NYer piece on the life & suicide of David Foster Wallace. I never clued in to his writing, actually didn't try very much of it, but, oh! the agonies of his life, the question whether he'd have been in such agony if he'd never discovered the desire to write, or if the writing produced - it no doubt exacerbated - the agony he went through.

    Reading that article led me to yet one more attempt at an opening to the fiction I appear to be disabled from writing:

    This the story of a writer who was so much better than me that I can’t even bring myself to write his name. Instead, I will call him “Don’t Forget Winter” and that might be a good name for him because he never forgot winter. For him it was always winter or at best three seasons away from winter.

  12. #12
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    "a small gain, to be sure,
    so small it might be taken for a loss;"

    These are my favorite lines, and they are so true. We forget that with every gain there is a loss, that with every open door, there is one that closes, that compromises are necessary and are going to look us in the eye and demand to be made.

    A bull's eye as usual, Prince.
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

  13. #13
    Ruadh gu brath ampoule's Avatar
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    Reading that article led me to yet one more attempt at an opening to the fiction I appear to be disabled from writing:

    This the story of a writer who was so much better than me that I can’t even bring myself to write his name. Instead, I will call him “Don’t Forget Winter” and that might be a good name for him because he never forgot winter. For him it was always winter or at best three seasons away from winter.
    Hope you are abled soon cause I'd like to buy a copy.
    I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.

    "If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor

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