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Thread: Coffee Mug

  1. #1
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    Coffee Mug

    Look at you, with your bright red mouth and your immaculate white dress.
    As you listen to my voice, look at your impatient lips twitching.
    Your fingers fidget and your eyes search for a piece to make your own
    while you try to follow the waves flowing with my mind and my days.

    My mouth moves in a gentle melody against your irregular twitch:
    we are the music that my eyes irreverently dance to, away from you.
    They dance away from your scrutiny and your selfish desire to steal,
    your need to plunge into the sea and find something to keep as your own.

    You might as well be taking copious notes of every single word
    disregarding their original purpose, plotting out your romantic future with them.
    But it’s my fault,
    I knowingly hand them over to you for you to make love with them.

    It is not me that you care about, in fact you could probably never care less,
    as it’s hard to care about anything besides the eggshells under your feet.
    I am only your feeble boat in the stormy ocean made by yours sincerely.
    Sincerely, I would have to lie to say that it doesn’t bother me.
    But it’s not your fault, you’re only human.

    The last time you cared was when your tears flooded the boat,
    you could barely breathe and you would have drowned in my ocean,
    you would have died had I not been there to fish you out with comforting philosophy.

    I am always here for you, always here to write you letters that you can steal
    and tell you things that you don’t give a damn about.
    I’m the extended pause between this sentence of yours and the next one,
    the excruciating moments of unrest before you get to open that mouth of yours
    to tell me of the broken coffee mug underneath your bed.

  2. #2
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    I can't claim to understand the situation perfectly but I'm in awe of both the passion and the control you exercise over it, and this line

    Quote Originally Posted by asthaoo View Post
    Im the extended pause between this sentence of yours and the next one,
    is especially powerful and memorable!!! You appear to be new here and I hope to see more of your work.

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    Thank you!
    I would explain it, but I don't want to risk ruining it

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    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asthaoo View Post
    Thank you!
    I would explain it, but I don't want to risk ruining it
    I understand and in any case explaining it might deny others the chance to provide you with their own readings.

  5. #5
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    I agree. I was fascinated with the observations of the narrator and his (?) feelings, and I loved how you brought it around to the end and the erstwhile coffee mug.

    "The extended pause between this sentence of yours and the next one..."

    I don't know if this is what you intended, but this whole poem makes me think of people and how we rush to talk of ourselves, giving scant shrift to the other person in our relationship.

    Maybe I will try to be a better listener...
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

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    yay!
    Although I myself can't fully grasp at every single thing in this poem, what I started with was exactly that: our need to talk of ourselves. And furthermore, even when we're listening, we're really only waiting for it to be our turn to speak. Good to know that I make at least a little bit of sense!

  7. #7
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asthaoo View Post
    yay!
    Although I myself can't fully grasp at every single thing in this poem, what I started with was exactly that: our need to talk of ourselves. And furthermore, even when we're listening, we're really only waiting for it to be our turn to speak. Good to know that I make at least a little bit of sense!
    This is a brave admission - and an important one! In the act of writing poetry I believe a different kind of understanding is required than if one were to write, say, an essay. Whether one intends that or not, one's subconscious comes into play, and if you write enough poems you begin to learn when to trust your subconscious, even when it might offer up things that do not make complete sense to your conscious 'rational' mind. Indeed, to me the pleasure of reading & writing poetry is the holiday it provides from one's linear, ratinal mind.

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    It's frightening, writing things about yourself that you don't fully understand. What's even scarier is not understanding them even after you analyse your own writing over and over. I'm learning let myself be afraid for a while though, and I agree -- it is quite cathartic and refreshing!

    - asthaoo
    (my other account died)

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    I hear you LOL! You are not alone. In any of it. The poem is very good. I immediately thought of people I know that are not good listeners. They catch a word or phrase and as long as it triggers something about themselves they interrupt you and run with it.

    You might as well be taking copious notes of every single word
    disregarding their original purpose, plotting out your romantic future with them.
    But it’s my fault,
    I knowingly hand them over to you
    and these lines are priceless! Well done!

  10. #10
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    People are indeed strange and self-involved, what can you do.

    Thank you!

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