How does the video fit in with the question at hand? What a horrible video, it seems pretty fake and ridiculous. I want my six minutes back.
As to the question - of course it's ok for grown men to cry.
No, never, it violates the rules of masculinity.
Never in public, but if no one knows, ok.
Only on rare occaisions, and then only tears, no weeping sounds.
Of course, men should occaisionally weep in public; they're no different than women.
Men should frequently weep in public to be diminished so women can have equal opportunities.
Men should constantly weep in public; women are taking over this damn world, get used to it.
How does the video fit in with the question at hand? What a horrible video, it seems pretty fake and ridiculous. I want my six minutes back.
As to the question - of course it's ok for grown men to cry.
Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda
Of course, yes. Why shouldn't they? They have got a heart, they have got eyes, and they have got tear-ducts....
In fact I usually find the guys who cry kind of cute.
(Maybe I am just plain evil I enjoy seeing people moaning and moping).
I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.
I got a kick out of the video, and whether the question fits exactly can be debatable. The video example is obviously extreme. But he's crying and crying out loud and open several times.
I haven't answered the question yet. I'm slightly torn between these two:
I'm sorry, I get a repulsive reaction when a man is crying out loud. Actually I'm not sure I've seen it, a man in loud, vocal weeping. The only times I can remember ever crying as an adult where people saw me in tears is when my dog died and when my father died, and it was just tears and no sound. Everything else has been in private. Like mono, it would take a lot for me to break down vocally in public. In fact I have no idea what that could possibly be.Never in public, but if no one knows, ok.
Only on rare occaisions, and then only tears, no weeping sounds.
LET THERE BE LIGHT
"Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena
My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/
Ha ha, I love the last choices on your poll, Virgil!!
It's not very sexy to see a man cry... I had a boyfriend who cried a little too easily and believe me, it was a definite turnoff... That said, I keep my tears to myself as well.
I've not seen the video yet!
But it is ok if a man cries in public of course for a good reason and not crying so loud and for everything like a child. I even don't like a woman cry loudly let alone man.
There is a problem in my culture as it is a kind of patriarchal one: from the beginning, it is said to the boys that "A boy never cries, Are you a girl that you cry?" and I don't like these. Why a man cannot cry? Doesn't he have feeling?
And one more thing, I cannot tolerate a man who cries more than me)
Art is a lie that leads to the truth.
--Picasso
Only on rare occaisions, and then only tears, no weeping sounds.
Of course, men should occaisionally weep in public; they're no different than women.
I chose the first one though I prefer the second but "no weeping sound" was important for me than the second "no difference". But in general the second is what I mean. It was better you mentioned the weeping sound in the second too
Art is a lie that leads to the truth.
--Picasso
Only on rare occaisions, and then only tears, no weeping sounds.
yea ! i guess they can .. i mean its ok
but i think that its so precious like in really hard times & when they really need to .
Besides some men really think that they shouldn't cry which is wrong coz they think its weak from them to.
Tears is a way to express som deep hard emotion whether for women or men .. but in the case of women they cry for anything :-P
"He is asleep. Though his mettle was sorely tried,
He lived, and when he lost his angel, died.
It happened calmly, on its own,
The way the night comes when day is done."
yeah, but if that man isn't acting he's a poor excuse for a human being let alone a man.Originally Posted by Virgil
If the emotions are valid I don't see any reason why a man has to suppress his natural emotional response. But I can see the problem with showing emotion in public but I think that's true of both men and women.I'm sorry, I get a repulsive reaction when a man is crying out loud. Actually I'm not sure I've seen it, a man in loud, vocal weeping. The only times I can remember ever crying as an adult where people saw me in tears is when my dog died and when my father died, and it was just tears and no sound. Everything else has been in private. Like mono, it would take a lot for me to break down vocally in public. In fact I have no idea what that could possibly be
Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda
I've come to the conclusion that no one, neither male nor female, over the age of eight should cry in public. What is
the motivation for public displays of emotion? Perhaps they are demands for sympathy or still another way in which this self-centered age foists its excesses upon the
world.
I'm not suggesting that "emotion" (as ill-defined and amorphous that notion maybe) should always be repressed.
We learned from Freud the ramifications of keeping one's
"feelings" bottled up. But when histrionics and temper tantrums intrude upon those who are merely trying to go about their business, then that kind of behavior is really
inappropriate and yes, childish.
Yeah.If the emotions are valid I don't see any reason why a man has to suppress his natural emotional response. But I can see the problem with showing emotion in public but I think that's true of both men and women.
If I have any problem with men crying in public, I don't think it's any more than that I have with women.
I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.
Social conditioning always tries to override natural instinct. It is easier for "BIG BROTHER" to run the wheel of commerce and power, easier for the elite to run the show if the peons are brainwashed into thinking they are thinking.
Is it alright for a man to cry? One may as well ask if it is okay to breathe, is it alright to sigh, to sing, to sleep, to love........
Well, the guy on the Maury show is ridiculous, but I think a woman acting that way would be just as ridiculous. I think, though that there shouldn't be a problem with men expressing emotion when they truly feel it. While, I know that there is a traditional societal belief that men are supposed to be less emotional in public, and that it may be true that people react differently to men crying, I think it can be hard for both men and women to cry in public. I'm with Aunt Shecky, that overboard hysterical weeping, especially about trivial things, probably reflects badly on members of either sex. While in many ways a woman's tears may be more acceptable to society, I'm not sure if people have respect for women who are constantly crying and carrying on about everyday things. On the flip side, I don't think people have any less respect for a man who shows emotion on a moving occassion.
As a woman, I should say that my own relation to crying in front of others is not at all unlike what Virgil describes. I feel deeply embarrassed at the thought of crying publicly, and on the few occasions when I have broken down in front of a group of people, they have been silent tears. I think my mom may be the only person in my adult life who has seen me really sob, but even with family I often feel that I should deal with my own emotions on my own rather than burden others with them especially when I know that others are also upset and I should be there for them to lean on.
Last edited by Petrarch's Love; 02-21-2009 at 01:33 PM.
"In rime sparse il suono/ di quei sospiri ond' io nudriva 'l core/ in sul mio primo giovenile errore"~ Francesco Petrarca
"Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."~ Jane Austen
Of course it is. Everybody feels emotions, and nobody should think they're above their emotions and above expressing them- even men. I wrote a blog about this once, It's Okay to Cry, because my boyfriend doesn't think it's okay to cry- not even in private, absolutely alone, let alone in public!
The video was entirely over the top, however... and crying on trash telivision like a blubbering idiot is slightly different than crying to your wife or girlfriend in private.
Naked except for a cigarette, you let your mind drift and forget your disbelief. Feel the chill down your back and the flutter of wings through dandelion fields, and forget the pull of gravity in a night without stars.
I lack eloquence and commitment to my arguments. They are half baked, and I will begin passionately, and then abandon them.
I was brought up to believe that men don't cry and it was only sissys that do.
However, people have different levels of sensibilty and will react accordingly.
I remember a scene that took place on a train travelling through Europe from Belgrade in Yugoslavia, as it then was, to Ostend in Belgium. The journey was slow and very long and it was impossible to sleep, so I went into the corridor to stretch my legs. It was about three O'clock in the morning and there were two people standing a few compartments further along. It was a young man and woman and they were holding each other close but, because the corridor was in semi-darkness, they didn't see me. After a few minutes the train pulled into some deserted station in Belgium and stopped.
I could hardly believe it when the girl got off in what seemed the middle of nowhere at dead of night but they were obviously distraught at having to part. When the train pulled out of the station, the man broke into the most terrible sobbing.
I don't know the story behind that scene but since then I have never thought that it was wrong for a man to cry.
Several women have said the same thing, and I quite agree. I don't particularly like seeing a woman sobbing out loud either. Perhaps the better question is why is it less startling (or repulsive, to use my reaction) to seeing a woman sobbing than a man?
I quite agree. Who says that the holding back of tears is emotional repression? The sobbing is a form of expressing that emotion. Who says that a person who feels the pain internally is repressing feelings? It's just a different form of expression. And frankly it's, as you characterize it, more adult.I'm not suggesting that "emotion" (as ill-defined and amorphous that notion maybe) should always be repressed.
We learned from Freud the ramifications of keeping one's
"feelings" bottled up. But when histrionics and temper tantrums intrude upon those who are merely trying to go about their business, then that kind of behavior is really
inappropriate and yes, childish.
Yes, your comments and Auntie's are similar and I have quoted them together. My response to Auntie for the most part applies to your comments as well.
As a side note, I don't particularly believe that repression of feelings leads to psychological problems. That's all pop culture whooey. Actually even Freud says that repression is a healthy defense function.
LET THERE BE LIGHT
"Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena
My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/
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