Am I wasting my time?

[oz_ricochet]

Hello all,

I am currently in the middle of creative crisis - you probably know what I mean - that moment in time when you are 40,000 words into a novel, have hit the wall and every word you have written just screams AMATEUR!!!

Well, Im at that place....

So before I waste another 6 months of my life (hard earned months I might add as I have 4 little boys under 5 and a full time job and can only write in the wee dark hours of the morning) would you mind reading the first three paragraphs of my novel and giving me your honest opinion....
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Artois, France
May 1915

Hell had walked the earth this night and where its feet touched the ground great bursts of metal and mud took the lives of men, without discrimination or reason. Now, in the cold half light of dawn, all was still. Skeletal fingers of mist stretched over the ground revealing a strange lunar landscape, barren and pockmarked.

Green meadows had once swayed here, the scarlet heads of poppies and pimpernels floating above the grass. In these fields, stone age man had hunted his prey and pilgrims had walked the ancient paths to the holy places at Arras. Here, beside the haystacks, farmers had wooed their sweethearts. Now the windmills, the farmhouses, the trees and ridges had been smashed beyond all recognition. In one night the landscape had changed forever and so too the lives of all who fought here.

In the eery wasteland between two opposing armies, the place they called No Man’s Land, a solitary figure huddled beneath the rim of a shell hole, marooned in a sea of dead men. His name was Tomas Slavik and though he wore the uniform of a French Legionnaire, he was a long way from home.
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Thanks for taking the time, I appreciate it!

E.

[Silas Thorne]

No.
Wow! Looks like fun. I want to keep reading. Please don't stop, or I won't be able to buy it in the shops. Love the scarlet heads of poppies and pimpernels bit...you're a poet too I think.

I haven't written anything nearly so large...well, except a MA thesis, but maybe you want to start from a different point in the plot and write from there, if you are having trouble writing the bit you are on at the moment. I'm sure a fiction writer will come and give their advice too. I'm a poet.

[Veva]

Hello all,

His name was Tomas Slavik and though he wore the uniform of a French Legionnaire, he was a long way from home.

E.

May I ask where exactly are you from, because that is a very common name in my native country... Slovakia...
... it sounds nice...

[laidbackperson]

I liked it as a whole, and the last para made me ask: What will happen now?

What you meant by : great bursts of metal and mud. Metal I could guess, but why mud.

[oz_ricochet]

Silas,

Thank your for your positive comments and hello from Australia I don't know about the poet bit but I see an image in my head and then I try to describe it as I see it!

Veva,

I am from Australia but my hero, Tomas, is from Czechoslovakia, or if I am being historically accurate he is from Bohemia because Czechoslovakia was not created as a country in its own right until around 1918/19.

I gave Tomas the surname Slavik because I read somewhere that it means 'Nightingale' in Czech.

My story is based on the Czech Legion Army. A lot of the book is set in Prague (my brother has lived there for two years) and the whole idea came to me when I visited the Baroque Library at the Klementinum...have you ever been there? Its wonderful.

Laidback,

Have you ever seen a picture of the battlefields of the Somme in France during World War I? The Germans and the Allies fought each other in trenches and would fire these 'shells' at each other using big cannons. The shells were made of metal and they would either explode just above the ground or in most cases, hit the ground and throw up huge bursts of mud and anyone unlucky enough to be in the immediate area would either be blown up or buried alive.....hence the reference to mud.

There is an excellent Australian book called Somme Mud written by EPF Lynch which is an incredible story of what it was like to fight in WWI.

I have seen some aerial photographs of the battlefields after they have been blown to bits by shells and the whole surface of the ground is covered in these craters (shell holes) that were formed by exploding shells....it looks exactly like the surface of the moon which is where my reference to a strange lunar landscape comes in.....I am a bit of a WWI junkie so this kind of thing is very interesting to me. I'm glad you wanted to read more - its a good sign!

E.

[laidbackperson]

Have you ever seen a picture of the battlefields of the Somme in France during World War I? The Germans and the Allies fought each other in trenches and would fire these 'shells' at each other using big cannons. The shells were made of metal and they would either explode just above the ground or in most cases, hit the ground and throw up huge bursts of mud and anyone unlucky enough to be in the immediate area would either be blown up or buried alive.....hence the reference to mud.

I don't know and may be other can advice. But the reference of mud becomes clear only after you give this explanation. For a general reader it may cause confusion and hence I wonder would it not be proper to include some explanation about it somewhere in your novel where your first use the word- mud.

[Delta40]

Goddam it don't let 40k words slip through you like rainwater.......give them to us - to yourself as a gift. Hug yourself and trust that you need down time to energise for the creative moments.

We believe in you. Don't underestimate the amateur. Children have so much to offer!

[blazeofglory]

In point of fact all a writer must do is write and ruin a thousand and one time. And to come across people one must be ahead of his time. Art is not an easy course. I demands of the writer a great amount of sacrifice.

[DickZ]

I would like to see you continue with this. I'm a big fan of World War I, and this sure has the potential for being a great tale.

I'd suggest that you just keep writing, rather than looking for excuses to stop, and asking for advice from others. You should have gotten lots of encouragement from the several responders - now get going.

And since you're from Australia, I'll also hope you'll come up with a Gallipoli story some day.

[xtianfriborg13]

It doesn't look amateur to me.