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Thread: The Revolt of Euraki

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    The Revolt of Euraki

    Sunlight trickled down through a cluster of clouds that scattered the brilliant blue skies over Byblos. The morning dew was lifting off the crops and Uriah could smell the moisture in the air. He tried to move, but his beaten body would barely reply, and even if it could, the restraints would not have allowed it. It had been twenty-nine hours since the soldiers lashed him to the pole on the boundaries of his wheat field. The road into the village would have been only a few steps away if he were free to walk. Soon the farmers and traders would be making their way by him on their way to market. Uriah feared the looks in their eyes and the thoughts of what vial deeds he must have committed to be treated as such. However in truth, it mattered little what he did to deserve this, recently the King and his Army had been quick to enact such punishment for even the most minor of indiscretions. Over the next hour, a few farmers had passed by, and most pretended not to notice him. He wondered how much longer his body could endure the immense pain, the endless thirst in his mouth and the empty gnawing of his stomach. A few moments later Uriah heard a bull drawn cart trotting toward him.
    He turned his eyes up from the dirt and saw a cart full of various items. The cart was that of a trader from Sidon and she had traveled many days to reach Byblos. Her cart was filled with products from all across the lands of Euraki. Among many other items, she had vases from the west, textiles from the east, furs from the north and fine salt from the south. The bull grunted in the rising heat having been walking for many miles already this morning. The trader grabbed a pail from the cart and paused the bull. Placing the pail on the ground, the bull eagerly lapped up the water. Having noticed the cart’s motion had halted a young boy asleep amongst the textiles stirred. He sat up blinking in the sun and noticed first the endless rows of wheat in either direction. The sound of the bull quenching his thirst turned his attention forward.
    His mother was not near the pail keeping a watchful eye to monitor the precious commodity. He leapt from the rear of the cart moving toward the edge of the road. Uriah’s arms were limp with exhaustion as she cut the blood soaked ropes holding him confined. She shifted his body from the pole and gently laid him down on the dry ground. As she turned to return to the cart to fetch some water and fruit, the boy startled her. He smiled and held out a ladle of water and two pomegranates. The woman took them and told him to return to the road and wait for her there.
    Abaddon recalled the memories of that distant day as he stood on the road almost twenty years later. He had been walking for the past three days and was looking forward to gazing upon the lush fields of wheat, but to his despair he saw nothing but waste in either direction. The last two decades had been pummeled by a vicious drought that had led to a famine and thousands dead.
    The King of the Euraki had been on his deathbed for nearly eight years, but no one dared to take his throne. Rumors that the King had magical powers kept anyone from crossing him except for the King’s only son, Elohim. He had been biding his time for years waiting for his father to grow weak and die. He was growing quite tired of the waiting game and concluded he must slay his father. At the very moment, Abaddon was remembering the kindness and grace of his mother, over a thousand miles away Elohim brutally murdered his father as he slept.
    Elohim crowed himself king of Euraki and was reclined on his father’s throne by dawn’s light. Word of the change of power swept through Euraki like a virus in a weak child, spreading uncertainty and unrest. By the end of his second day in power the new King had all of this father’s former advisors put to death for fear they might not transfer their loyalty fully. He filled the vacant posts with his friends who quickly let the power seep into and rot their already feeble brains.
    A few months after Abaddon’s mother had saved Uriah from death she lost to it and died of a common disease; leaving Abaddon alone in a bitter and unjust world. Faced with having to fend for himself Abaddon could have easily disregarded his mother’s teaching and turned to villainy. However, he stuck by the many lessons taught by his mother and managed to skimp by. Abaddon saw the world through the eyes of his mother and did not fully understand the bleakness of existence for most of the population.
    He had been in Byblos for almost a week before he felt the full vigor of how twisted fate could be. As night fell on Abaddon’s sixth day in Byblos, he made his way to the market to try to broker some last minute deals before his early morning departure. Upon finishing a transaction with a local spice dealer, the calm of the market was disturbed when a group of soldiers seized a middle-aged man in the center of the courtyard.
    The man lurched backwards on the ground retreating from spear point. Although time had been harsh on the man’s features Abaddon recognized the man. The event of his mother that day on the road was vivid in his memory and the man cowering on the dirt was Uriah. Abaddon made his way to the front of the gathering crowd and caught the man’s attention. Uriah did not see the boy from the road, but an unfamiliar face new to town.
    By new decree of the King, all crimes, no matter the severity, would be punished by execution. Uriah could not allow the soldiers to drag him off to his death. A particularly large soldier grabbed his shoulder as Uriah yelled, “Wait!”
    Uriah pleaded with them, “It was not me who stole the parcels, I promise you.”
    The large soldier leaned down and boomed, “If it was not you, then who?”
    Uriah searched his mind for an answer, but could not find one. He again noticed the foreign face in the crowd and figured he was of no consequence. Without a word, Uriah moved his filthy finger up from the dirt and firmly pointed at Abaddon. Immediately another soldier plucked Abaddon from the crowd. He tried to resist, but it was of no use. He fruitlessly beseeched the soldiers as they drug him out away from the market.
    Last edited by Ferguson4848; 03-18-2009 at 01:17 PM.

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    one of billions zanna's Avatar
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    This is interesting! I like how the characters meet again, so much later. I hope you'll post the next part.

    Also -- here's the nitpick-y part -- I think there are some confused words here: pale = a light color, but pail = bucket. Thrown = past-tense of throw, but throne = a ruler's chair. After I thought for a minute, I figured out the intention, but it might be helpful to change those parts in future versions.

    Keep up the good work! =)
    A bit that I wrote: Vanilla Ice Cream. Comments and critique welcomed! :-)

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    Thank You

    Thank you for pointing those out. I made the changes. I will post the next section below.

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    Part II

    Fortunately, for Abaddon the cogs of the execution only sentencing were not well informed and he was locked in a bleak cell in the recesses of the King’s castle at Chaldees. There he sat watching the sun rise and set through a small crevasse in the stonewall above his head. Days blurred into weeks and then into months. Any hope had long since drained from his body when he was graced with a visitor.
    Kezia was the only daughter born to a wealthy family who owned much land in the southern plains of Euraki. When Elohim was younger, he and many of his friends had vacationed as guests of Kezia’s family. Kezia was a few years younger than Elohim, but he was immediately taken by her. He pursued her unremittingly with promise of riches far beyond her families and temptation of power beyond that of man. Aside from a few summer trysts, Kezia’s thoughts for Elohim were not particularly favorable.
    Once Elohim was King Kezia’s father insisted she relocate to Chaldees and try to advance the family lineage. Upon her arrival, Kezia was met by an offer to wed, which she immediately declined. Elohim would not accept her response as final and invited her to live in the adjacent chamber to his own. She accepted and began to take note of all the vile acts committed by Elohim and his new advisors.
    She took special interest in the accused prisoners now all burdened with death sentences. Sadly, there was little she could do for most of them, but she tried to pick the least guilty and by the exchange of favors, persuaded Elohim to release a few of the condemned. Elohim was growing tired of Kezia’s nagging so when it came to the proposed release of a young man accused of stealing from the Byblos’ market she would have to go well beyond favors.
    Upon entering the dank cell, Kezia looked into Abaddon’s eyes and knew in her heart that he was innocent. Abaddon saw in her the hope he had lost and the promise that the world his mother saw was not all lost. On the day Kezia planned to throw herself at Elohim to secure Abaddon’s release her meeting with him was interrupted by General Mikha. Mikha was appointed General of the Euraki army some weeks after Elohim slit the throat of the former General over an argument.
    Over the months that followed Elohim’s rule unrest was ever growing amongst the common people. Crime was rising even with the imposed blanket punishment. Thousands were sick and dying in the streets across the whole of the land. Soldiers were met by riots and mobs wherever they tread. The brutal grip the army had on many of the towns and villages had frayed and chaos ran rampant.
    The frantic Mikha informed Elohim that an ill-organized mob was marching toward the castle. Elohim ordered Mikha to slaughter the peasants with no mercy. Before Mikha left the throne chamber to follow the order Kezia stopped him. She stood between the large armored man and the door with a fierce look in her eyes.
    “Before you murder the few strong men and women left in Euraki you might think of the consequences,” Kezia yelled at both Mikha and Elohim. Part of her expected Mikha to slay her in one swing of his sword, but to her surprise, he turned and looked at Elohim.
    Elohim stood and spoke, “What are you waiting for? I gave you a simple order.”
    Kezia spoke quickly before Mikha could do anything, “What are you going to do when the entire population is dead in the streets.”
    “Celebrate the silence,” Elohim crossed the room toward them anger rising within him.
    “Who will grow you wheat? Who will graze your cattle? Prepare your food, clean your clothes or dance for your pleasure? If you slaughter those coming to oppose you they will be followed by more. Until you and your advisors are the only ones left. You cannot see it, but those you wish to condemn, you need.”
    Elohim stopped an arms length from Kezia, “Perhaps you are right. However, how would you suggest we control the fools?”
    “By appointing one of them to your advisory,” Kezia smiled to herself.
    Elohim was silent for a long moment and then spoke, “Do you have a candidate?”
    Four soldiers walked down the road from the castle toward the growing mob. Between them, shackled in heavy chains, Abaddon attempted to keep pace. They stopped within eyesight of the brim of the mob. A soldier shoved Abaddon to the ground. Another solider moved a heavy axe from resting on his shoulder into the air. He took a firm stance in front of Abaddon and raised the axe above his head. With a force that could cut a man in half the blade hit the dirt road splitting Aboddon’s chains. The soldiers turned and began to return to the castle.
    Abaddon stood on the road as the mob slowly advanced. Once he felt they could begin to hear his weak voice he shouted, “Stop! I implore you, this is not the way.” The mob collectively looked at the broken man in the road. Abaddon continued, “You stand no chance of victory today. You all march to your deaths if you continue.”
    A man shouted from the mob, “We are dead either way.”
    “No. There is a way. It may seem that there is no hope in a future here, but I promise you there is. The King may have power and a mighty army. He has many thing we do not, however those things will be his thorn. Paramount among them is fear. Alone many of us are too weak to carry on, but together we are all strong. We will blaze a new path for all who dwell in Euraki.”
    Many of the crowd was willing to postpone suicide for a chance to hear Abaddon’s sketch of a future. Still some insisted their current path was the only option. Convincing the remaining mob to give him until sundown to speak with the King, Abaddon returned to the castle. By nightfall, Abaddon and Kezia bartered a deal with Elohim to release all the prisoners except for the most sadistic of them. With families reunited and friends found, the crowds dispersed and made their respective journeys home with hope in their minds.
    With Kezia at the King’s ear and Abaddon in the courtyards and squares, life in Euraki flourished and grew. Kezia and Abaddon relationship did much the same. Unfortunately, they had to keep their love a secret to maintain in the King’s good graces. It was a sacrifice they each made in the cause of a better world. It seemed that prosperity would remain in Euraki’s favor forever, but fate had other campaigns.
    Last edited by Ferguson4848; 04-30-2009 at 09:07 PM.

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    Hm, I really like how this is shaping up! Reminds me of other epics, but building off of a stock character isn't necessarily a bad thing; there's still plenty of room for modification and originality, which you seem to have. =)

    Again, there's just a few editing things you might change to enhance the fluidity:
    --in the first paragraph, you write "watching the sunrise and set through a small crevasse;" perhaps your forgot to add a space between sun and rise? It sounds slightly awkward right now.
    --near the end of the third paragraph, you mention Elohim's "vial" deeds, but "vial" is closer to a small, slender container, whereas "vile" is more on the order of horrible, evil, etc. =) Don't sweat it too much; English has so many similar words that are easily confused!
    --in the last paragraph, you write, "until sundown to speak with the King Abaddon returned the castle." It would probably be helpful to insert a comma after "King" and to insert "to" after "returned." Also, in the next sentence, it might help to put "most" in front of "sadistic" when you're talking about the prisoners.

    Editing aside, I'm still excited to see where this goes! Serfs, Kings, and court intrigue, oh my! =) I respect your ability to craft a story like this; my ideas are all modern-day rom-coms.
    A bit that I wrote: Vanilla Ice Cream. Comments and critique welcomed! :-)

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    i really like this story so far and cant wait to read the next part

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    Thanks I'm posting the next part, hope you like it.

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    It had been fifteen glorious years since Kezia persuade Elohim to release Abaddon. With prosperity comes desires beyond that of simple survival. With conditions improving many of the poor had been able to see they could have extra, something alien to most few years prior. They saw how the Euraki elite lived and they wanted a part of their pleasures. Unions were formed and higher prices were demanded for commodities such as grain and wheat. All across the land poverty was being eradicated and people saw hope in themselves and each other.
    The King’s advisors and other rich landowners began to complain to Elohim about theie circumstances. Elohim arranged a meeting with Abaddon and told him about the situation. They sat opposite a long wooden table. The years and travel had left an impression on Aboddon’s face, but it was not a look of distress but of accomplishment. To the curiosity of Abaddon Elohim did not look much older than the day they met. Elohim spoke sternly about the complaints he had heard but Abaddon had no sympathy for the greedy men and women. Abaddon stood to leave the chamber and Elohim motioned for the soldier at the door to stop him. Abaddon turned a confident man, “If you lock me away or kill me you will have more trouble than you can contend with.”
    “I’m not a fool. I know how the peasants see you. I would not dare spark a cause.” Elohim got up from the table and walked toward Abaddon.
    Abaddon was firm, “I will not stop progress!”
    “I have allowed you free reign for far too long and it is time Euraki returned to proper balance.”
    “We are too strong, they will not blindly listen to you any longer.”
    Elohim smirked and leaned close to Abaddon, “You are correct. However, they will listen to you.”
    “I would do no such thing.”
    “No, of course you would not. Not without motivation.”
    “I am free, you have nothing over me,” Abaddon declared defiant.
    “Arrogance is not becoming. If you do not do what I ask, I will …,” Elohim smiled wickedly, “… quietly and brutally murder Kezia.” Abaddon stood silent starring into Elohim’s intense eyes. Elohim turned away and began to exit the room, “You have one moon cycle to disband the unions and return prices to the original levels or she will die.”
    Upon hearing the threat via Abaddon Kezia became furious. She pounded the air and shouted, “He does not deserve to rule!” Abaddon agreed, but what could they do about it. Kezia calmed and took Abaddon by the hands and looked at him almost in awe. She spoke concisely, “This is your destiny. They will follow you.”
    “You must leave the castle, tonight,” was Abaddon’s response.
    Word swiftly spread from shore to shore that Abaddon was building an army. All were welcome; their only requirement, a sense the cause was just. Abaddon recruited loyal men from the ranks of the King’s army. Kezia’s father had died several years earlier leaving his lands to her. They were quickly transformed from citrus fields to training camps. Thousands came from the far reaches of Euraki for the chance to fight. They trained hard, day in and out, until nightfall on the eve of the new moon. They would rest for one day and then they would march to Chaldees.
    Through towns and villages, they marched and were met with cheers and optimism. By dusk, they reached the foothills of Chaldees and there they waited for the moonless night to inherit the sky from the day. By carriage, Kezia approached the gate and was allowed admission. She made her way to her chambers as two stowed defected soldiers took the gate by surprise. By torch light, the mass of revolution approached the high castle walls. The alarm was sounded and the barracks bleed solider after soldier into the night’s countryside.
    Just as the night’s silence had settled, yells, fears, clangs, splinters, spears and arrows devastated it. Abaddon was not among the souls in peril on the fields below the castle. He led a group of thirteen men and women to the friendly guarded gate. The few soldiers occupying the castle walls feel easily and Abaddon found Mikha in the west tower reviewing his opportunities. Abaddon stood amongst several of his comrades and Mikha stood alone.
    “Sound the retreat before more perish tonight,” Abaddon demanded quietly.
    Mikha looked over the battlefield and he saw many of his men dead and dying, with the rebels gaining quick ground. “Only the King can command such an order,” Mikha explained.
    Abaddon glanced around the empty tower and spoke almost in jest, “And where is your King?” Mikha was silent so Abaddon offered some suggestions, “Cowering in his chamber? Locked in the armory? Fleeing by secret tunnel?” Mikha still did not speak. “It is within your power to save lives,” Abaddon put a kind hand on Mikha’s shoulder and Mikha’s eyes feel in defeat.
    A rebel barged into the tower and explained he had seen the King take Kezia down into the dungeons. Abaddon told them to secure the castle, lock the soldiers in their barracks and spread the word, victory was theirs.

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    Registered User krispykritta's Avatar
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    Real nice
    i really like it
    can't wait to read the next part

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    Oh man! This is good, but I hate the wait, lol! Such a cliffhanger right there. =)

    I might just take a second look at the last few paragraphs, because everything seems to be past tense until then, but then you used "feel" a few times, which doesn't jibe with the past tense anymore.

    Also, I would personally be interested in some more details about their training during the month before the revolution took place. It seems a little far-fetched to me, but maybe if you explained some of it -- for example, say the farmers practiced using their scythes to bash/slash at other people, and the blacksmiths practiced crushing things with their hammers -- then I would be more inclined to believe that these rural people, who are generally poor and without fighting experience, could be turned into an honest-to-goodness army in just a month's time.

    Anyway, that is my two cents. Hopefully it doesn't feel too critical. =/

    Keep up the good work!
    A bit that I wrote: Vanilla Ice Cream. Comments and critique welcomed! :-)

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    With a torch in one and a sword in the other Abaddon quickly leap down the stone stairs. The dungeon stairs wound downward into a damp darkness. He reached the bottom and was met by two passages. One he recognized from his incarceration and the other he did not. Down the familiar path, he found several dozen prisoners caged like animals. In the first cell, he was shocked to find a face he recognized starring back at him. The face was old and weathered, but there was no error, it was Uriah.
    The stranger that had been so crucial in the formation of his life was pleading through the bars for release until Uriah too recognized Abaddon. Not as the boy from the road, but as the man, he had condemned to save himself. Uriah backed away from the bars in fear of retribution. Abaddon shifted the weight of the sword in his hand and in one motion shattered the lock. Abaddon looked at the aged man trembling in the dark and spoke, “All men are free today.”
    Abaddon returned to the stairs and now took the passage unfamiliar to him. He ran down long corridors and by sharp turns until he saw light ahead. Pulling more speed from his legs, he reached the end of the corridor and into luminous blue light. Adjusting to the light his eyes contracted and in a moment, pain and hope mixed together in his chest. Elohim stood just inside the door; his outstretched hand firmly gripped the sword now deeply deposited into Abaddon’s flesh.
    As the defeated King of Euraki retracted the blade, blood poured from the gapping lesion. Abaddon’s strength buckled beneath him and he knelt on the stone floor. His eyes searched the room and found it oddly soothing. It was rounded with much writing on the walls. Many of it he could not read, but some were in languages he understood. In the center of the room was a globe of light, astonishingly pouring shimmering rays in all directions.
    The writings on the walls were of the same two words over and over, “destruction and creation”. He saw the words repeated in the several Euraki languages he knew, but it was written in countless others. He could not determine what this strange place was. However, he quickly discarded the task of curiosity as he noticed Kezia standing just beyond the globe. She seemed in a trance and stood motionless; her eyes were closed and she did not look to him when he called her name. A rage began to build in Abaddon to a measure beyond any he had felt before.
    Elohim laid his sword on the ground and walked toward the globe. He spoke as in admiration of it, “Do you know what true power is?” Kezia’s eyes blankly opened at the will of Elohim’s open hand, “Of course you don’t. You could never possibly understand. I noticed your confusion upon seeing my youthful body in comparison to your own.” He pointed to the globe, “This is true power. It grants life eternal, for those who are worthy. Although, its power is not limited to that.” Elohim closed his hand and Kezia gasped for air and died. Her body fell limp on the floor as Abaddon hopelessly yelled.
    “An account has been passed down through the line of rulers that the possessor of the light can do so much more than simply rule. It bestows the power to obliterate and then build a world of the creators’ own design. The control to populate, construct and rule as supreme commander of all life. That is true power. Do you not agree?” Elohim turned around hoping to catch a glimpse of Abaddon’s conquered face, but he found the doorway empty. He quickly turned back to the globe as Abaddon placed his blooded hand into the light.
    Deep within his chest, Abaddon could feel the wound closing and healing itself. His body was filled with strength he had not knows since his youth. As the light released him, he moved with incredible speed to his feet, brandishing his sword. The blade came down upon Elohim’s arm and crushed through the flesh and bone deep into his side.
    Elohim shocked gaze turned upward as pain he never could have imagined invaded his body. Abaddon pulled the intestine covered blade and prepared to swing again, but this time he was met by metal instead of flesh. Elohim had no time to morn the loss of his arm as he struck back at Abaddon. Fury flowed between them exploding in shards of steel into the illuminated chamber. The fierce back and forth performance seemed to go on hours, but was in truth mere moments.
    Abaddon was stronger than he had been in decades but Elohim was a skilled swordsman. Sweat poured down the brow of both men and dripped to the stone floor. The swords met above them with such great force the steel from each meshed with that of the other. Pushing against one another they seemed matched until Abaddon added the strength of his other arm and the two swords began to swing downward together. The light from the globe quickly caught the blades as they smashed into the incandescent surface.
    The world seemed both dark and light at the same instant and Abaddon and Elohim lost sight of each other, then the chamber, the dungeon tunnels, the castle, the hills of Chaldees, the fields of Byblos, the shores of Sidon and finally Euraki itself until all was silent.

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    Im really liking this story, you defenatly have skill as a writer. you are able to keep the reader on the edge of his seat wondering whats going to happen next. as always i look foward to reading the next part. keep up the good work.

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    A cold shiver ran throughout Abaddon’s body as he shuttered awake. Instantaneously all of his senses flooded into his body and he took in his surroundings. The sky above him was dark and all he could see was the shimmer from the globe. Staring into the rays of light for a moment he got the feeling that is was content where it sat. The ground was a grey stone and it felt warm beneath him. He peered around but could only see darkness beyond the rays. He turned his attention to his immediate vicinity and noticed Elohim lying beside him. Upon investigating Elohim, he found that he was in a deep sleep and would not wake. The wound on his side remained, but it did not bleed, his missing arm was in the same condition.
    Abaddon thought to himself; “Is this the end? Had they destroyed the world? Was all life gone forever? Where was he now? If only he could see!” Like the moment after you trip and you have begun to fall, the world around you seems to slow. You know you are going to fall, but you can do nothing to stop it. This is how Abaddon felt as pure white light cascaded down from above illuminating all the space around him. Immediately he felt warmth and turned his eyes skyward and as a father sees his first born, he saw the sun.
    Blinking in the light he spun in a slow circle and could see forever in all directions. There was area around him, but it was void, covered in mammoth trenches, and unending gullies. The horizon looked as if a frustrated painter had abandoned it. Pushed upward in contrast to the ravines the land was dotted randomly with stunted mountain ranges and low volcanoes. Liquid rock flowed from bubbling brims downward filling crevasse with swirling fractures of evading gases.
    An odd sensation seemed to fill his mouth as he took in the barren land around him. He felt the sensation was common but could not seem to pinpoint the cause or why he recognized it. He ventured out away from the globe to the lip of the nearest gully. It looked as if someone had scrapped a gapping wound into the side of the grey world. The expanse of the hole was astonishing and Abaddon felt small peering down into seemingly endless depths. His palms laid flat on the warm stone as he sat near the edge and watched lava flow from rock to rock in the distance. Like a revelation from a dream he realized what the odd sensation was, he was thirsty.
    A tickle on the palm of his hand caused him to pull it off the ground startled. Dirt covered his palm, but he had not noticed any dirt before. He looked down to where his hand had just laid and noticed the ground was different. To the awe of his eyes, he watched as the ground began to swell. The disturbances in the surface were small at first, but they grew bolder. Abaddon stood up as the ground bubbled and like a chick pushing on its shell water pressed to the surface and soaked into the dry stone.
    He laid his hands near the source of the water, it pooled in his palms and he drank. He had never tasted such a pure subsstance and knew what he had to do. With his hand pressed into the softening stone the slow bubble grew until it was a stream blazing down the side of the gully. All across the landscape the stark stone gave way to pockets of water moving swiftly to fill the wounds. Soon the gullies, crevasse and pits were brimmed with waves dancing with the sunlight. As the sun warmed the bodies of fluid, they gave birth to clouds that began to smear across the sky. Rain came and drenched the land and Abaddon bathed in the wonder.
    An elaborate cavern system had been carved out by lava flows and seemed a suitable place to lay Elohim out of the rain. Abaddon laid his lifeless body on a ledge and placed the globe in the center of the cavern. He thought he should adorn the walls with the languages he remember like at the castle, but he had nothing to write with.
    Outside the rain had moved on and Abaddon walked out into the mud. He knelt down and felt the moist dirt penetrate his clothing. Spreading his fingers, he placed them deep within the dirt and could feel energy flowing out of him into the soil. All around him, green bursts of seedlings sprang from the land. The plants grew and sprouted offspring of many varieties and covered the soggy land with green.
    Over the next days, he tried and failed to create the one thing his heart required. He could see Kezia’s body in his mind, but could not sustain the form. Upon completion of her body, it would simply crumble into dust before taking breath. Deciding he would work from smaller to larger, he created tiny simple creatures that could dwell in the vast oceans. Building from these simple creatures, he was able to create larger animals and produced a great many variety of creatures to fill the empty world.
    All were unique and some even towered over him while others were small enough to scurry through the underbrush. Years moved on, so many years. Abaddon spent his time in the cavern or the surrounding garden. Millions of years seemed to pass by without notice and many cycles of creatures came and went. It was a warm day on the southern tip and Abaddon was determined to push his creation limits. He labored for many days giving each detail unmatched attention, until he was complete.
    The female animal that lay before him was not Kezia, but she was as close as Abaddon felt he could do for now. The female looked up at Abaddon, but she did not really see him. Abaddon knew she was similar to him, but she was lacking something he could not seem to find in his creation pallet. He created more of these creatures and let them grown and thrive. Other attempts grew him closer to his goal until he felt he could finally accomplish what he had tried those days after the forest was born.

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    Standing in the center of the cavern, he placed his hands in the air around him. He pulled at the particles that filled all space and placed them carefully together in a swirl of dust and water. The energy given to him by the globe flowed from his chest and mind through his fingers into the growing mass before him. Remembered features divided the smooth form and she began to take shape. Kezia stood in the mix of blue and yellow light that fluttered the cavern and starred blankly at Abaddon.
    She was there standing before him in perfect completion, but she still seemed incomplete. He began to experience all that he could in the hopes of discovering what he was missing her creation. It was as simple as miss placed steps that cause the rock to give way followed by a landslide of boulders. Abaddon’s crushed body lurched in pain as he began to weep in defeat and loneliness. For many days, his mind was blank until a group of Kezia inspired trials found him.
    Limping Abaddon entered the cavern and moved toward the globe. He glanced at Elohim’s lifeless body as he did often, but stopped suddenly upon seeing the ledge was empty. He spun around and was shocked to find Elohim standing in the opposite corner looking down at a sleeping Kezia. Abaddon had not spoken in millions of years and the words seemed foreign, “She is my one failure.”
    Elohim turned but said nothing. His wound and missing arm were still as they had been since the battle so long ago. As much as he despised Elohim, it was good to hear another voice, “I know. Once I woke, I placed my hand in the globe to try to heal myself. I was not able to, but the events that have transpired flooded into me.”
    Abaddon reached into the globe and felt the wound on his leg close and heal, “Can you do what I can do?”
    “No, I’ve tried,” disappointed Elohim sat down on the ledge where he had laid for so long. “However, I can do something you can not,” he looked at Abaddon as superior.
    “What is that?”
    “I cannot create like you, but I can make her the way she was.”
    Abaddon leapt to the idea, “Then do it.”
    “No. I will do someone else first. Create Mikha,” Elohim demanded.
    Abaddon did not trust Elohim, “No.”
    “Alright, then you pick someone.”
    Abaddon thought for a moment and then held out his hands. He had become quite proficient and the form of a man quickly appeared next to the globe. Abaddon did not know why he had chosen Uriah, but the man whom his mother had saved stood before him in the chamber. Elohim placed his hand just behind Uriah’s head and closed his eyes. In a burst, Uriah’s blank eyes came to focus on Abaddon’s face and he spoke, “I know you.”
    Elohim smiled gawkily at his accomplishment and Uriah turned to face him. Uriah had never see Elohim before and he asked, “Who are you?”
    Beaming with power Elohim smiled, “I am your god, praise me.” Without a word, Uriah dropped to his knees and lowered he eyes. Abaddon looked from Uriah to Elohim in amazement. After a moment, Uriah looked back up at Elohim and spoke again, “I am thirsty. I am hungry. I am cold. I am warm. I am …”
    Elohim held his hand up and Uriah’s original blank stare reappeared stopping the string of complaints, “That was annoying.”
    Abaddon looked over Uriah body and then back at Elohim, “How did you do that?”
    “I am not sure. We can ask?” Elohim commanded Uriah’s lifeless hand up fro the ground and into the globe’s light.
    The globe spoke through Uriah’s mouth, “The authority granted by this light is meant for one vessel. A strict division of power was not possible because of the damage to one of the vessel’s body. The weaker vessel was given the less physically demanding authority to grant intelligence as compared to the complex demands of form creation.” Uriah’s arm fell from the light back to the ground and he was silent.
    Elohim stared at Abaddon and said, “You can get rid of him.” Abaddon placed his hand on Uriah’s head and his body was absorbed into the air and was gone.
    Abaddon moved closer to Elohim and commanded, “Bring her back!”
    Elohim thought for a moment and then walked to Kezia and put his hand behind her head. She stood and blinked twice and her mind was filled. She looked past Elohim and saw Abaddon. Immediately she ran for him, but before they could embrace, she froze like a wind up toy, out of tension. Abaddon was furious, “Stop this!”
    Elohim confidently walked around Kezia’s immobile body, “I will make you a proposition. You grant me your powers for the next ten millennia and after that period not only will I return them to you, but I will include my own.”
    “How can I trust you?”
    “It is either this or you can spend the rest of eternity without her.”
    Abaddon felt the power leave his body and move out into the space between them. Elohim breathed in the sweet thoughts of supremacy and infinite control. As soon as he felt the power cascading through his body he repaired his side and grew a new arm. Abaddon sat on the ground and peered up at Kezia’s halted expression of joy.
    Elohim turned his attention to the cavern’s mouth and prepared to leave. Before he did, he turned to Abaddon as if to do him a favor. With a grin he motioned up at the empty cavern, “I will leave you in command of all of this. Also, if I ever want to punish someone I will send them your way.”
    Abaddon watched as Elohim left the cavern and walked out of site. All he could think was, “What have I done?”

  15. #15
    Registered User krispykritta's Avatar
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    really good :-D
    is that the end or is there more?

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