Thinking outside convention
Dear readers
My name is Ceahorse, and this will be my first post in this forum. For this time, I have chosen what I believe to be one of my better works; however, there is a slight touch of sacrilegiousness. Don’t be put off, its in no way insulting or ridiculous toward any or all faiths, however, it simply supports a practice that is forbiddin in most holy doctrine.
I choose this piece with the hopes that someone will read it for what it is, a simple outpour of thought.
Ceahorse...
Many people, especially in modern days, have and will always debate the acceptability of platonic sex. Throughout history there has always been sex outside of wed-lock, however, in the past, I believe, that there was more cases of love-less sex, with the exception of paid-for sex.
Many people of higher social standings, in a past, were not only accustomed to performing the act with people other then their partners; they were in fact, encouraged to. These people also had the luxury of having no need for pretences, and were openly allowed by their partner, as well as the people of the court.
Nowadays, things are quite different; fewer people are taking the opportunities to be unfaithful, however more people are experiencing sex for the first time outside wedlock, or simply, most people don’t cheat and few are saving themselves.
People of modern time seem to be more open to sex, but I believe that this is a false assumption, and the truth is that we have bottled our sexuality in comparison to those of the past.
Although our sexual habits, as well as marriage-based habits, have drastically changed, perhaps even reciprocated, our desire for sex has, seemingly, not decreased. One concept of sexual practice that I believe hasn’t increased, nor decreased, the time that has past, is the idea of platonic sex; however the timing has just changed (in the past they did it after marriage, in the present they do it before getting hitched).
Platonic sex, in my opinion is an acceptable practice, however, it comes with set rules that must be abided to, or the result with certainly be emotional pain on one or all accounts.
Firstly, both parties must discuss the morality of what they plan to do. They both must know that when it’s done and over there will be no feelings of guilt. If one of the parties is being unfaithful to a third party, then it becomes unacceptable. This can induce guilt in both the parties that are involved; one may feel remorse for cheating, and the other for “home wrecking”.
Another important point is the thought of control. Sex can be an extremely affecting act. It can trick one to believe, as well as convince one, that they are now in love with the other person. Keep in mind, sex is a very difficult thing to give up, especially for males that find it difficult to obtain. The problem is that a person has sex with their platonic friend; they both know that it’s nothing more then the sex, however, this type of exercise cannot be a life long experience. In most cases, one or both parties will grow, or have, the desire to settle down, find love and have a family. A problem can occur when one of the two decides its time before the other is ready. Now the person that isn’t ready now is forced to give up the sex, this can be very difficult.
Expectations are also a major factor, when decided to attempt an amorous adventure of this type. What do each person want the other to do, and more importantly not do. There are millions of examples of different expectations. This is something that one must discuss with their partner. Does she want me to not talk to other girls? Does he want me to come to him often? Does she want to sleep over after? The list can go on and on.
The last major point of concern is honesty. If either, or both, parties are attempting to use the sex as a tool to achieve a love life more then that of the agreement, then they are performing a serious wrong, not only unto the other, but more importantly unto themselves. That person is misleading the other person, tricking them if you will, and when the other person finds out, it will break the harmony. Secondly, the dishonest person is also setting themselves up for a heart break.
Platonic sex can in some cases actually be very beneficial, beyond the point of physical gratification. Some people have difficulties with what I like to call romantic patients; they simply don’t know how to take their time. Having an experience of this nature can help an impatient person to learn to change their ways. To be more specific, a guy that is getting some isn’t in so much of a hurry to get more. Although this sounds very dog-like it is nevertheless the truth. To more significance, a guy that finds it hard to take romantic episodes one step at a time, and to not smother the object of his desire, now is placed in a position whereby he has but not choice, and has in fact agreed to not make that jump from dating to commitment.
Platonic sex’s acceptability is and always will be different to all people of all walks of life; simply due to the difference in morals and beliefs. Trying to convince someone that feels strongly that its not a good thing, will most likely never have a change of heart no matter what you say to them, however, there are rare cases where some pinnacle in one life will change their outlook on things of this nature. Basically, don’t try to make someone your platonic sex friend, you have to leave that one and find another.
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