Kick *** Future Maidens Who Are Bounty Hunters
Foreword: This is a story i wrote, whilst i was on a college trip. Two girls asked me to write a story about them and this is what i came up with. Once i wrote it i felt like i wanted to write more, so now i have also written a Part 2 for it (which is more indepth and darker) i am in the process of writting Part 3 also. I hope you enjoy, it's a mixture of comedy, action and pure randomness.
Peace et Love
Baker2008
P.S It seems to block out the word ***, but it says 'bum' in another way, or another word for a donkey, hahaha. Cheers
Kick *** Future Maidens Who Are Bounty Hunters
Once upon a time, there was a village called Hoodlesbury, and in this village lived two young maidens named Ameth and Betheth. They lived a simple life, as they were simple people. They owned three simple animals, a duck called Arnold, a horse named George and a cat named squeaky. These seemingly normal village dwellers had a dark, dark secret, they were bounty hunters! Sent from the future. This is there story called ‘Kick *** Future Maidens Who Are Bounty Hunters’
CRASH! Made the sound of the perpetrators head against the window of the museum front desk. CRACK! Was the sound heard as Betheth smashed him in the face with a queue divider bar thingy, you know the one I mean. Ameth covered her face as she threw a match towards the second perp’s face that she had previously dowsed in lighter fluid. KABOOM! The museum exploded, throwing debris and glass flying high into the air, closely followed by the figures of two maiden bounty hunters rising from the smoke.
“Looks like the museums closed boys” said Ameth in a cool action movie style
“Who are you talking to?” questioned Betheth
“Does it matter?” replied Ameth
Later that day whilst making cookies Betheth asked Ameth
“Hey, what are you knitting, fellow kick *** bounty hunter?”
“Funny you ask, this item I hold in my hand is a glove for our beloved duck Arnold” she said holding up a multicoloured duck glove
“That is beautiful Ameth, Arnold will be thrilled”
“I agree” replied Ameth looking out over Hoodlesbury from their 12 story Edwardian apartment,
BRING BRING rang the bounty hunter emergency phone
BRING BRING it repeated
BRING BRING it continued
“Hello, bounty hunter residence, Betheth speaking”
“This is chiefton Blake we have an emergency, hence me ringing you on the emergency phone”
“We are on our way!” Betheth exclaimed before putting down the phone
“Bounty hunters away!” and with that Ameth and Betheth jumped out the window and landed perfectly in their 1959 Aston Martin custom painted with polka dots and bumble bee’s smoking pipes and wearing matching bee style trilbies.
A short custom painted car ride later, the maidens arrived at the downtown emergency, which was a follows, the lesser spotted Goldphins, part goldfish, part dolphin, had made their way into the steaming steam manholes that provide Hoodlesbury with much needed steam. Steam I hear you cry, well Hoodlesbury farmed steam and used it for such things as powering the numerous factories that in turn produced shape shifting chocolate bars, Hoodlesbury’s main export. Well back to the emergency
“Quick Ameth use your quantum seesaw chop to drive the goldphins back into the steam vents” announced Betheth
“Good thinking!” Ameth flew into the air and walloped the lead goldphin in the chops with a mighty wallop.
“It worked!” cheered the crowd unanimously
“Too right” replied Ameth and Betheth
“Congratulations to the maximum entirety my friends” beamed chiefton Blake as he emerged from the cheering crowd.
15 minutes 36 seconds later the two daredevils arrived home tired but absolutely chuffed with themselves, but there was no time for chillaxation, Hoodlesbury needed there help again, and this time the emergency came in the form of minipigs creating localised earthquakes. The funny thing is minipigs are actually the size of small skyscrapers, so this was to be the duo’s most terrifying adventure yet.
“There’s no time to lose” announced Ameth and with those words still chiming in the air the two once again jumped in their bounty hunter mobile, that they had affectionately nicknamed scoots. 2.7 miles down the road the pair laid there eyes upon the awesome sight of the minipigs
“Gosh golly gee wizzicle marmite, that’s a giant foe!” exclaimed Betheth
“That statement is right to be exclamated Betheth…very right!” replied Ameth
“This situation is going to take all our bestest moves and will call for our intelligence to be on high alertness!” just as this was said the minipigs advanced further into the city leaving a wake of destruction behind them.
“We need to head them off, quick down Jefferson Street” ordered Ameth as Betheth stepped on the accelerator. ZOOM! Went the 1959 Aston down the high street
“There they are” pointed out Ameth
“Your right” replied Betheth
“I know” continued Ameth
“Good” replied Betheth once more
Scoots the car screeched round the corner, pulled a wheelie and came to a halt in front of the path of the minipigs. RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE! Went the ground
“The earthquakes are getting stronger!” shouted Betheth
“That’s probably because there right in front of us” Ameth shouted back
“It’s now or never!” they chimed together
“Mighty morphing bounty hunter rangers, form of Megaeth” two maidens rose up in a glory of fireworks and sparkly bits and fused into a huge but dainty mega robot type beast thingy. THWACK! Was the noise that rang out over Hoodlesbury as the giant megaeth ploughed its humongous fists into the tribe of minipigs. Within a matter of milliseconds the tribe was defeated and all that was to be seen was a mighty silhouette of the megaeth standing amongst a pile of mangled and dismembered minipig bodies. Once again the kick *** future maidens who are bounty hunters have saved the day, all in the space of 24 hours.
The sun rose on another beautiful day in Hoodlesbury but something felt different, the air was still, much more still than usual
“Cough eck gah bah” came the sound from Ameth’s chamber
“What on earth is wrong Ameth” said Betheth in a concerned manner
“Cough get the cough cough doctor eck gah!” spluttered Ameth
Moments later the doctor arrived, he examined the fading Ameth
“Dr Pandageist, what’s wrong with her…she’ll pull through right?!”
“I’m afraid it doesn’t look good, she seems to be infected with…horniness!” said Dr Pandageist in a mournful voice
“Nooooooo! Anything but that. Why Lordy Why? What are her chances doc?” questioned Betheth
“Well…let’s just say she’s seen her last sunrise” delivered Dr Pandageist as he left the flat, leaving Betheth sobbing next to Ameth’s bed…who lay motionless…
The End?!
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