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Thread: Fight Club (not the movie!)

  1. #1

    Fight Club (not the movie!)

    "Running isn't tough," I told myself. " Although, I have never tried this before." I was planning on running in the woods until my body turned into jelly and there was no way I cold get back up. This task would be very hard to accomplish though. I was very fit. I could go days without water. Going without water for the rest of the week was one of the many challenges that I accepted. I loved to challenge my body, to take advantage of everything it could do by pushing it to the limit. It was a way I could deal with depression. Many things seemed to go very bad very fast in my life. I had a wife, a home, and a freaking huge pay check. But, suddenly my boss fired me for no logical reason, my wife divorced me, and I didn’t know what happened until a few weeks later. When I went into my 'challenge myself to the limit’ phase', I went passed the depression. When I was dying from the running I was doing, the anger from everything that happed was the only thing that kept me going. I was angry about my boss and my ex-wife. I still have no idea why I was fired. One day, a very normal day in fact, I was sitting down doing some make up paperwork. I had been about one day late on about two projects. Suddenly, my boss's assistant came in and fired me. I asked him why. He said that I wasn’t consistently on time with the projects. I protested in saying that it was only two. He said no more and left. I guess the lack of money was the reason my wife left. She was okay, just how I like them. But, she was a little bit of a spender. Correction, she was a HUGE spender. What a *****! Leaving only because I'm out of cash! I suddenly fell down on the trail. I did a small role, kicking dust everywhere. I coughed as I struggled to get back up and finish running. With no set distance, this wasn't a running endurance trail as much as a death march. I got up to discover that my legs were tripping over each other as I fell into the dust again. I got onto my back. When I got this tired, I start coming up with my next insane idea. It was almost like homework. My project for the week. I seemed to always be late with them (stupid boss).

    I wonder why I never thought of physical pain? Like boxing? But, boxing is controlled, something that I know you can't go to your limits in. I thought about this for a minute. Maybe I could start something. Like a club, a Fight Club. Not like the movie, something real. A club in which a few guys could beat up on each other. A good way to use all of the anger of life and turn it into a sport. A sport with no rules, no limits, no mercy. Well, there is one rule. You don’t quit. You’re a member for the rest of your pitiful life. This ought to be fun. I better start going to the gym.


    2 weeks later


    “I have brought all of you low-life scumbags here today to get rid of some of your anger. You might be in physical pain tonight, but emotionally, you ought to appreciate the fact that you aren’t as pissed as before. Alright! Which of you are up?”

    “I feel good!” cried out a small guy that I found out in the streets to recruit.
    “If you feel good, you shouldn’t be here and save us some room,” I said. The man just laughed because he thought I was trying to be tough. I wasn’t trying to be tough. I really didn’t like anyone here. I ran at him and punched him in his jaw. That felt, to my surprise, a lot better. I calmed down. The punk disserved it. He was holding his jaw, red blood running down the features. He was raged. That’s what I was after. He came at me to punch me in the gut. I didn’t even get out of the way. I herd the air rushing out. I coughed. “That’s what I want! This guy is going to feel calm when he gets back to his little cardboard home! Hey, buddy, your welcome!” He lounged, and this time I dodged to the left just as he passed me. I then raised my right elbow to pound the back of his neck. He went down. He wouldn’t get back up. “If you don’t get up, you’re telling the world you’re a failure! You’re telling the world that you don’t belong in here with the rest of us, you don’t disserve to be here!” He shook his way up. His neck popped as he rolled it around.
    “Alright! Let’s do this for real.” He got up. “I was going on you easy man. I’m going to kill you now!” he ran and to my surprise, he jumped into the air to kick me in the face. It freaking hurt! That’s what I liked…

    A lot of physical pain later, we were both very bloody. The sweat stung my eyes. We were both puffing in and out. I really respected this kid. I thought I could win easily. Boy was I wrong. He could fly. He did mid air kicks and spins, very flexible. He jumped at me again. I instinctively put my arms out. But, I grabbed his legs. Then I tossed him into the air again. He landed strangely on his foot and went down. “Okay,” he said, “I’m done.” He grabbed his ankle and walked away. I asked for the next fighters to come and start. After the fights ended, I got him to follow me back into the club. I liked Zack (the kid.) He was alright, I didn’t know that when we started tonight. I asked him if he wanted to be a sort of ‘second in command’ person. I called him my apprentice. The next day, I told the club to partner up with other. We were going to have some 2 on 2 fights.

    I figured out some ways to promote people for wining fights. Nobody but Zack could be second in command. But, everyone tried to fight for the third position. It was funny how sort the period of being 3rd was. One day it would be Carlos and the next Jerry. Oh well. At least this would give them something to work for. The only concern I had was the police. We had to keep it quiet. To tell no one. The next night, I told everyone, “I know this sounds like the movie, but, we can’t talk about Fightclub. The police are already drilling me about the noise complaints. No one can know. Is that understood? Anyone who talks is going to get hurt.” They knew not to mess with me. I herd that one of the members was beating up other members on the streets because the beat him. I snuck up on him and broke his arm, beat his face to a pulp, and told him not to come back or harass any other members.

    “Zack, let’s say I died today. What would you do?”
    Zack was silent for a second and replied in a calm voice, “I guess I would run the club. Keep it up. Recruit new members you know.”
    “Sounds good. Hey, don’t let some dumb**** be second in command when I’m gone.”
    “Don’t worry b’out it! I got this place covered when your done wit it.”
    “One day I’m going to be too old for this crap.” I sighed. That idea kept haunting me.
    “Dude, you’re like thirty! I don’t think you will be going anytime soon.”
    “Keep the rules the same. No rules, except for not talking.”
    “You got it, pops!” he cried out laughing. A punched him in the arm. He kept laughing as he left. It’s nice to know that this place and its purpose will stay in the right hands. Life, despite my poverty, was going smoothly. I gave all the money for renting out the place from donations. Felt like a charity group. I laughed at the thought.
    Last edited by BloodFlame; 11-10-2008 at 10:37 PM.
    You see me... You turn around... as you turn around, you realize that I'm still in front of you... "My friends, I'm Everywhere!"

  2. #2
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    This is awful. You just ripped off Fight Club, the movie, and probably think you didn't because you made mention twice in the piece that it wasn't like "fightclub the movie," but in the end you just wrote a less interesting synopsis of FIGHT CLUB THE MOVIE.
    So, my advice is this: show. Don't tell and expect that your piece will be different simply because you say it is -- it's the evocation that counts here. Think imagery that has more than blood in it - grimy warehouses, clinical corporate buildings, **** like that.
    good luck.
    oh, use spell check.

  3. #3
    Overlord of Cupcak3s 1n50mn14's Avatar
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    ^__^ this is called plagiarism and would get me expelled from my high school classes.
    Last edited by 1n50mn14; 11-12-2008 at 09:44 AM.
    Naked except for a cigarette, you let your mind drift and forget your disbelief. Feel the chill down your back and the flutter of wings through dandelion fields, and forget the pull of gravity in a night without stars.

    I lack eloquence and commitment to my arguments. They are half baked, and I will begin passionately, and then abandon them.

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