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Thread: The Abstract Home

  1. #1
    King of Dreams MorpheusSandman's Avatar
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    The Abstract Home

    Silent steps, toes sink in sand.
    Waves wash clean what were old worlds.
    Stop, look, and breath; In love, out life.

    All is still but calls of hills, walls that rise in mist.
    All settles over serene scenes, a calm respiteful dream.
    Go, look, and see; off land, on seas.

    Wind that will not wither rolls.
    It cools all fires, caressing cares, cold is seems.
    Don’t be, just go; Out doors, in me.

    Senses stir, sights will blur.
    In distant traces lines lead on to nothing.
    Don’t go, just be; Without fear, with me.

    I follow where the nothing lives,
    Comforting and frightening, enveloping and free.
    In darkness where the light will blind,
    I’ve found my place in blissful mind.

    A tiny spot, a place all mine,
    Of shapes and colors, tones and lines.
    The edge of life, of love, and dreams,
    A place, it seems, for those divine.

    Leave, Let go, move on.
    Don’t be with me, and I’ll be fine.
    Last edited by MorpheusSandman; 10-25-2008 at 09:06 PM.
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung

    "To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists

    "I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers

  2. #2
    The Poetic Warrior Dark Muse's Avatar
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    I really like this, wonderful use of langauge, and a really interesting style.

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  3. #3
    King of Dreams MorpheusSandman's Avatar
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    Thanks Dark Muse.
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung

    "To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists

    "I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers

  4. #4
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    I like the title of this one. It suits the poem well. The poem has interesting sounds and alliterations and a haunting cadence. Very well done.

  5. #5
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    The language flows so well, especially stanza two. The refrain with all those imperatives really amplifies those conflicting emotions. The sense of boundless possibility and nothingness at the same time. I can identify with the sentiments too. oddly i can recall going to the needles in dorset and feeling simultaneously claustro and agoraphobic. its not the best position to be in haha.
    I'd like to make this water wine
    but it's impossible.
    I've got to get these dishes dry.

  6. #6
    King of Dreams MorpheusSandman's Avatar
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    Thanks to firefangled and NSAM.

    I'm glad you like the title fire. That was the last thing I did and struggled for about 20 minutes after finishing it to think of one. I think it was the ending that made me think of "home", plus the "shapes, colors" bit that made me think of "abstract".
    Last edited by MorpheusSandman; 10-25-2008 at 09:03 PM.
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung

    "To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists

    "I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers

  7. #7
    The Ghost of Laszlo Jamf islandclimber's Avatar
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    Yeah love the title too... It fits the poem so well... and the flow is just amazing, reading this aloud just makes this poem come to life... and it creates such a sense of conflicting emotions, and confused sentiments, and abstract feelings.. I love it..

  8. #8
    King of Dreams MorpheusSandman's Avatar
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    Thanks islandclimber.
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung

    "To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists

    "I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers

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