I have skimmed the thread, so hopefully I am not about to bring up something someone else has already pointed out...
Religion can make people better, but it seems to me that those people were good to begin with. The idea of "making good men better" from the Freemasons comes to mind.
Perhaps it is not that religion scares people into behaving with kindness and goodness as much as that it attracts people who already have an inclination toward goodness. I think most of us are at a real loss to accept our own demise, so the idea of fear of hell being a motivation is one I doubt.