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Thread: Subject Poetry Contest.

  1. #1471
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    moments: summer in garden valley


    red is the color
    of the sun this summer day
    the lungs of a fox
    burn with exertion
    from merely breathing the air
    nearby kits whimper

    a rusting ford truck
    bald tires rotting on its rims
    conceals their stark den
    the day's heat lessened
    by the shade of an old barn
    bleached and desolate

    tall grass and thistles
    a sudden rustle spurred by
    furtive running quail
    beaks agape for want
    water lacking for relief
    - a pine martin leaps

    a flurry of wings
    beat upon drifting ash motes
    whistles and warbles
    signal the flock to
    the refuge of a gnarled oak
    where gray squirrels chirp

    8/13/2018


    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    Last edited by tailor STATELY; 08-13-2018 at 08:56 PM. Reason: syntax / tires only 1-sillybibble
    Enchant Me

    Your very being a desire for answer
    Lament not your unassailable mystery
    Enchant me with your dreams

    5-14-2005

  2. #1472
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    Thank you for YesNo and tailor Stately we now have a contest.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  3. #1473
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    Both poems are brilliantly composed.
    I like YesNo's play on rhymes and the last line is perfect. It is a neat little piece. Very well done.
    The play on words in tailor's piece is grandiose. A whimsical a piece to read and reread and keep discovering

    Hard choice but....
    the winner is tailor STATELY!!!
    congratulations!!
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  4. #1474
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Thank you cacian ! I enjoyed your poem YesNo very much.

    I just noticed the contrast in color and "breathing" between the two poems; a diametrical opposition. Our locale has suffered from the confluence of smoky air from various fires in California over the years, sometimes all too close (we've been evacuated once), and quite often the sun will be red, most spectacularly at sunrise and sunset - but at its worst during the midday. Our weather report even includes "haze" in our current forecast due to the fire activity: https://forecast.weather.gov/MapClic...n=-120.7809676 The backdrop of the poem is from a dream my wife had over a year ago that she has yet to act upon.

    Next subject: The Homeless
    Enchant Me

    Your very being a desire for answer
    Lament not your unassailable mystery
    Enchant me with your dreams

    5-14-2005

  5. #1475
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Homeless in the Ocean of Love

    May homelessness be everywhere
    With open door
    With open heart
    Without a floor
    To fall apart.
    Should I be blessed to find you there
    May homelessness be everywhere.

  6. #1476
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Thank you YesNo for getting us started.

    Setting a deadline for the end of the day Monday, September 10th.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    Enchant Me

    Your very being a desire for answer
    Lament not your unassailable mystery
    Enchant me with your dreams

    5-14-2005

  7. #1477
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    homelessness
    is a crash course
    on lack of thoughts
    destitute is an institution
    of faults
    humans are mould
    attention to detail
    gold
    and life is a little
    bit more hold which is more than
    can be said or told.
    Last edited by cacian; 09-10-2018 at 05:34 PM.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  8. #1478
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Thank you cacian! Deadline end of day 9/10/2018.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    Enchant Me

    Your very being a desire for answer
    Lament not your unassailable mystery
    Enchant me with your dreams

    5-14-2005

  9. #1479
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    I had much to ponder on these two entries...

    YesNo - When I first read this poem I became incredulous; mouth agape in wonder... agape perhaps being appropriate in the Greek sense of the word in the context of your poem. Confused and surprised I tried to take in all 7-lines in the context of what my expectations were for this contest and was blown out of the water.

    cacian - Enjoyed the word play: "humans are mould / attention to detail / gold"... my thoughts strayed to the potential each one of us has for greatness - vessels finely sculptured and refined; yet some become lost in an "institution of faults" whether of their own making or not.

    Well done ! Both poems are worthy of winning, but a choice must be made and the winner this round is YesNo.

    Congratulations !

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    Last edited by tailor STATELY; 09-12-2018 at 05:08 AM.
    Enchant Me

    Your very being a desire for answer
    Lament not your unassailable mystery
    Enchant me with your dreams

    5-14-2005

  10. #1480
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    tailor STATELY thank you and congratulations YesNo
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  11. #1481
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Thank you, tailor STATELY! And cacian!

    The next topic is "Autumn".

    Off and on, I am unable to post, but today it seems to be working.

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