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Thread: Catching the Dead

  1. #1
    Peace is this way Jester's Avatar
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    Catching the Dead

    Comments most definatly welcome..
    Story of mine, short, I first wrote it several years ago but i come back to it frequently.

    “Hush...if you’re real quiet you can make out the words in the wind,” I said to myself. The blue waves rolled over on themselves softly and quietly. The deep blue sky shone from thousands of glittering lights and the large full moon cast velvety silver on the shore. I spread out my arms beckoning the sea breeze to attack me. “Come to me; come to me,” I cried letting my voice echo into the dark. I could hear footsteps behind me. Voices laughed and hands pointed. I wanted the dead, the sea spray, the souls of the gone. I wanted them, to be one of them again. I was once dead, then cast back into this reality with my memory intact, a horrible position to be in mind you. I remember the storms and how we would play and laugh in the storms. I wanted that again. I wanted them again. And here I find myself beckoning to the wind and waves and spray, beckoning to the dead to play with me again.

    I twirled around and ran toward the audience, leaping into the white sand, startling them. They laughed and applauded repeatedly after the initial shock. I stamped my feet and kicked sand in the air. It fell like soft snow, gently falling on my hair and face and all over them and around them. My hands flailed wildly as I dashed in and out of the crowd. “Hush,” I shrieked. The clapping died and they leaned forward ever so slightly. “And you might make out the words in the wind,” I whispered so softly that my voice was like the wind itself. But I would hear the words in the wind. I could hear the dead leaping and dancing along the cliffs and in the water.

    I made a giant leap back towards the water throwing up sand with my movements. They clapped louder and more people danced feeling the beat of a distant drum and the now crashing waves. They yelled and screamed words that were not words. Their voices meddled with the wind’s, the sea’s and mine. They leapt and ran and spinned never outdoing me. Soon they lay on the ground dizzy and exhausted but I still moved to the music in my mind. I stopped, turned to the ocean and screamed, “Come to me!” A burst of wind and ocean spray hit me like a fist. I fell back hearing the sighs of the audience. They too had felt the power and the movements of the dead. They stared at me as if I were crazy but I was not. I only searched for spirits and souls of the wandering dead.

    The crowd dispersed feeling the joy that the dance had given them but still ignorant they were. I continued my dance until the sun peaked over the horizon and I was allowed to return to the land of the dead, my home.
    "It all comes down to what we make of ourselves, eh?"
    -The Fairy Godmother

    "Sing on, poor souls! The night is short, and the morning will part you forever!"
    - Uncle Tom's Cabin

  2. #2
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    Very nice, Jester. The short story flows almost like a free-verse poem, especially with the aesthetic word usage. When the character speaks of being once dead, and once alive, if you intend the idea of reincarnation, I think a nice touch may seem to expand a little on past lives - somewhat of a history - only an idea. Beautiful story, regardless, and good luck!

  3. #3
    Wow thats really nie
    Don't try to hack into hell they've put up extra firewalls

  4. #4
    Peace is this way Jester's Avatar
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    thanks... both of you
    "It all comes down to what we make of ourselves, eh?"
    -The Fairy Godmother

    "Sing on, poor souls! The night is short, and the morning will part you forever!"
    - Uncle Tom's Cabin

  5. #5
    Good morning, Campers! Jay's Avatar
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    I like this , but you know that already
    Mono, I don't think it's about reincarnation. If I'm correct, reincarnation is about returning to the 'land of living', and the main character wishes to return to the 'land of dead'.
    I have a plan: attack!

  6. #6
    Peace is this way Jester's Avatar
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    hmmmm well its sort of both... i mean he was dead and then he came to live but now he wants to be dead again, i wonder why he doesn't jsut commit suicide???? maybe i should turn a novel out of it since its leaving me (and i wrote it) quite perplexed.
    "It all comes down to what we make of ourselves, eh?"
    -The Fairy Godmother

    "Sing on, poor souls! The night is short, and the morning will part you forever!"
    - Uncle Tom's Cabin

  7. #7
    Cleric of Josh Bongitybongbong's Avatar
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    That confused me a little... besides that it's very good.
    currently in my world of insanity and randomism

  8. #8
    Peace is this way Jester's Avatar
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    which, my responce or the story?
    "It all comes down to what we make of ourselves, eh?"
    -The Fairy Godmother

    "Sing on, poor souls! The night is short, and the morning will part you forever!"
    - Uncle Tom's Cabin

  9. #9
    Cleric of Josh Bongitybongbong's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jester
    which, my responce or the story?
    The story was a tad confusing.
    currently in my world of insanity and randomism

  10. #10
    Peace is this way Jester's Avatar
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    thanks, wanted to know that, sometimes mr responce gets confusing or so I'm told, I'll have to find time to edit it and perhaps... give it a second shot.
    "It all comes down to what we make of ourselves, eh?"
    -The Fairy Godmother

    "Sing on, poor souls! The night is short, and the morning will part you forever!"
    - Uncle Tom's Cabin

  11. #11
    Cleric of Josh Bongitybongbong's Avatar
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    It doesn't need that much editing if any.
    currently in my world of insanity and randomism

  12. #12
    The Yodfather Stanislaw's Avatar
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    I took it as someone leaving the land of ignorance and seeing what the world truly is, and then wishing once more to be among those who live blisfully unaware.

    I liked it, turning it into a novel would be neet, specially if it stuck to the original theory!

    Well done, arrr!

    ---------------
    Stanislaw Lem
    1921 - 2006, Rest In Peace.
    "Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible"

  13. #13
    Peace is this way Jester's Avatar
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    hey thanks stan, I didn't think of it in that way! cool
    however if i turn it into a novel, itll never get done, i have this issue with long sotries, I'm working on about fifty or so now...

    A while back i had to reformatt all my writing from older computers on disks to a newer computer... i never new how much intros or page long stories i've written, and thats not including the hundred I've written by hand in math classes...!!!!

    Anybody else write stories in math class, or english class, in which i wasn't doing to well, that has to be really sad...
    Last edited by Jester; 01-27-2005 at 06:23 PM.
    "It all comes down to what we make of ourselves, eh?"
    -The Fairy Godmother

    "Sing on, poor souls! The night is short, and the morning will part you forever!"
    - Uncle Tom's Cabin

  14. #14
    The Yodfather Stanislaw's Avatar
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    heh heh...nooooooooo not I!!!

    ofcourse I did that, twas a boring class, if I wasn't writing thoughts, I was creating comp programs.

    ---------------
    Stanislaw Lem
    1921 - 2006, Rest In Peace.
    "Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible"

  15. #15
    Peace is this way Jester's Avatar
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    comp programs??? I was also doodling, perfect my doodling to an art and now it decorates my dorm room door, and i put it on cards to send to people.... oh the joys of boring classes, and wasting time
    "It all comes down to what we make of ourselves, eh?"
    -The Fairy Godmother

    "Sing on, poor souls! The night is short, and the morning will part you forever!"
    - Uncle Tom's Cabin

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