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Thread: The Lady of Mine

  1. #1
    A human form Divine Poetess's Avatar
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    The Lady of Mine

    The Lady of Mine

    Once, that fair lady passed me by
    In a sward of thorny dead roses.
    Life she bade in me, and the world
    of mine changed; O! Her gleaming
    Dark eyes; O! Her black sunlit hair
    Flown above me, I stumbled.

    She was the essence of destruction,
    The beauty of ugliness, the life of the dead.
    All, my lady included - of wholeness and
    Emptiness of memories; O! Her memory
    In my life; O! that lady did pass me by
    And turned my day into long night.

    Mine world did collapse, when I saw
    The flowery cheecks of wounds and lesions
    Wished I to see her the next day
    Of Salvation; O! Her bright skin
    Lit the way; O! The lady of mine fled
    Away, and was gone so that I live again.
    I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death. - Robert Fulghum
    Je Chante Une Chanson Sombre
    The Lady of Mine - Opinion please
    A tragedy crept to the name Bathory

  2. #2
    The Poetic Warrior Dark Muse's Avatar
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    Beautiful, love the dark imagery

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

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    No mistakes can be spotted,your modus operandi of writting it is outstanding.By the way,I would like to clarify something doubtful,which is-why did you describe the black hair which was sunlit(refer to the fifth stanza )?The hair was black,and there could be no legitimate reason why it was sunlit.

  4. #4
    A human form Divine Poetess's Avatar
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    Dark Muse thanks a lot for the comment, I appreciate it.

    wilbur lim, this is a comment I cherish. Concerning the black sunlit hair of the 5th verse: I enjoy contradiction in poems, the well written ones. If you notice the rest of the poem contains a lot of contradictory sentences and especially those that belong to the dark image.

    When reading the first stanza, mentioning dead roses and thorns, I imagined an unilluminated view where the lady walked. Although her hair was black, I still saw it as if it was illuminated by the sun. Thus, I tried to pour light indirectly into the bleak scenery, that there was some hope existing, that she made me realize there was something still alive around me. After bidding that tiring life in me (for I stayed awake all the nights for her, I thought pretty much about her), she died "so that I live again".

    Why was "sunlit" used to the black hair precisely and not anything in the poem? Because I have this strange thing to black hair, which some people (at least those I`ve known) refer to it as a source or sorcery, but I do refer to it as a source of attraction.
    Last edited by Poetess; 08-23-2008 at 07:32 PM. Reason: modification
    I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death. - Robert Fulghum
    Je Chante Une Chanson Sombre
    The Lady of Mine - Opinion please
    A tragedy crept to the name Bathory

  5. #5
    Alive In Our Hearts mercy_mankind's Avatar
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    Great!!
    your poem is great. But i want to ask a question
    ""The beauty of ugliness, the life of the dead.""
    I know about the life of dead, but would you explain the beauty of ugliness?

    Thanks

  6. #6
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    These are strikingly beautiful, horribly touching. There are things, antagonizing things, mutually averting.

    I like the way striking contrasts were in place.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

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    laudator temporis acti andave_ya's Avatar
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    that is beautiful! "The beauty of ugliness, the life of the dead," especially, stood out. I know what you mean, and this is a brilliant context to put it in.
    "The time has come," the Walrus said,
    "To talk of many things:
    Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
    Of cabbages--and kings--
    And why the sea is boiling hot--
    And whether pigs have wings."

  8. #8
    A human form Divine Poetess's Avatar
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    Thank you all for the cordial feedback.


    Quote Originally Posted by mercy_mankind View Post
    Great!!
    your poem is great. But i want to ask a question
    ""The beauty of ugliness, the life of the dead.""
    I know about the life of dead, but would you explain the beauty of ugliness?

    Thanks
    The beauty of ugliness, is everything ugly you see, really ugly?
    This one is deep, it lacks having one meaning.
    The meanings it holds are:
    Her ugliness itself is beautiful.
    She makes "ugly" look "beautiful"



    Actually guys when I write, one verse doesn`t hold one meaning. It holds many meanings and sometimes they are completely different. And I am ready to provide explanations of my poems of all sides.
    Last edited by Poetess; 08-24-2008 at 09:09 PM.
    I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death. - Robert Fulghum
    Je Chante Une Chanson Sombre
    The Lady of Mine - Opinion please
    A tragedy crept to the name Bathory

  9. #9
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    Re: The Lady of Mine

    I liked the quotation at the bottom.

  10. #10
    A Pioneer Jedi K. Skywalker's Avatar
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    Wow... this poem is wonderful! You captured me by the words you used and its overall meaning. Every line was described vividly and beautifully.

    Mostly when I read poems, I easily get bored, but this... this is an extraordinary piece of writing. Well done!
    "Love just is."

  11. #11
    A human form Divine Poetess's Avatar
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    I thankfully treasure this.
    I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death. - Robert Fulghum
    Je Chante Une Chanson Sombre
    The Lady of Mine - Opinion please
    A tragedy crept to the name Bathory

  12. #12
    Just call me Beau! Beautifull's Avatar
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    O! How I wished I was good as that!
    Just Reading the very makeup of the poem
    Casts me into the Darkness of Dispair
    O! How I Could write like that
    And I should be content!

    Seriously...get a publisher!!!!!
    Find your dream and stick with it...or your life will have slipped past in a whisper with you still on the bottom.

  13. #13
    A human form Divine Poetess's Avatar
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    ^^ Can`t find one yet...
    Okay okay, I am not so confident, that`s the problem :P
    Thanks, xx
    I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death. - Robert Fulghum
    Je Chante Une Chanson Sombre
    The Lady of Mine - Opinion please
    A tragedy crept to the name Bathory

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