View Poll Results: How important is religion to you in loving a person?

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  • I would only love a person of my own religion.

    7 7.29%
  • I would love a person regardless of what religion he/she belongs to.

    89 92.71%
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Thread: Is religion important in loving a person?

  1. #1
    A Brand New Mystery RoCKiTcZa's Avatar
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    Is religion important in loving a person?

    Do you believe religion is important in loving a person? Is it capable of changing your love for someone, just because this person you love does not belong to the same religion as you? Or will you continue to love this person no matter what religion he/she belongs to?
    Wish hard enough, I could turn it to what I like.

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  2. #2
    'sunflower' Tournesol's Avatar
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    I think it goes both ways, for me, being a Muslim, religion is very important. And I know it's that way for Jews as well as for some Christians.

    Personally, I wouldn't change my religion for anyone, and I wouldn't want anyone to do that for me.
    Because then that person's belief becomes about you.
    What happens when you are no more in their life? Or when you die?
    Their reason will be no more.
    It means that their 'belief' or 'faith' in that religion was not for the sake of believing in that doctrine, but rather for the sake of being with that person.

    This brings up another question:
    what if two persons love eachother because they have the same religion?
    They see admirable qualities, and similar goals.

    For me, this is how it is. I believe that love can survive and thrive when two ppl have similar beliefs, principles, and goals. And more often than not, peoples' religions provide the templates for these things.
    Ergo, same religion = a more stable relationship.

    It's easy to fall in love with someone, but keeping that love alive requires a different formula.
    "My warm hands have made the paper limp,
    So that its feel reminds me of slept-in sheets: comfortable and safe"


    "All these things I say... I say them because I want you to know, I don't ever want to regret afterwards that I didn't say enough, I would rather say too much." ~ Samuel Selvon

  3. #3
    Searching for..... amalia1985's Avatar
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    I have to make clear that I am not a religious person. For me, religion is not that important, therefore I would never try to stop myself from loving someone who is not a Christian, for example.
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    -Goethe

  4. #4
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    I don't think it matters what religion a person is to fall in love with them. Now marriage and living your lives together is a different story. That's the difficulty and the more important question.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  5. #5
    Super papayahed's Avatar
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    On a practical level religion is important. I'm not religious so in one sense it doesn't matter but on further discussion I think I would have trouble dating someone that is very religious.
    Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda


  6. #6
    Registered User Wintermute's Avatar
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    Hi everyone,

    If a person is 100% certain that they know what's going on in the universe, I am immediately scared by them. So, if a person claims with certainty that the only way to get into heaven is to accept unconditionally that Christ existed and died for my sins. And if I don't I'm doomed to rot in a burning hell for eternity--then I can not, in all honesty, completely love that person. Similarly, if another person claims, with certainty, that a universal creator does not exist, then I would not be able to completely love that person.

    Now, in my limited experience, most (almost all) folks are not 100% certain that they have found only true path. The certainty that is displayed by many, in my opinion, is simply a product of hope. Hope that there is more going on in the universe. Hope that their loved ones, who've left the planet, are in a place warm and gentle, waiting for them. Hope that the strife and pain they experience and witness others experiencing somehow has a purpose. I certainly hope. And it wouldn't be difficult at all to fall deeply in love with one that hopes.

    Doug
    “The air was soft, the stars so fine, the promise of every cobbled alley so great that I thought I was in a dream.” -Jack Kerouac

  7. #7
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    Oh, certainly religion should not matter in affairs of the heart!

    Many of those of the Christian faith (C.S. Lewis in particular) hold the concept of true courtly love in high esteem. I highly suggest Lewis' fantastic non-fictional work "The Allegory of Love."

  8. #8
    & her nihilistic epithet Ona's Avatar
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    i personally believe that organized 'religion' is sheer stupidity and that people who consider themselves religious are liars/hypocritical/not fully consious. this would be a big problem for me to date someone considering themselves under one finite category of faith. spiritual people do not dissapoint me however; finding thier own path and intuition/thought of the creation and existience of our human race. it is not a crime to have hope, but it is a crime to be 'religious' in my eyes.

  9. #9
    Jealous Optimist Dori's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ona View Post
    i personally believe that organized 'religion' is sheer stupidity and that people who consider themselves religious are liars/hypocritical/not fully consious. this would be a big problem for me to date someone considering themselves under one finite category of faith. spiritual people do not dissapoint me however; finding thier own path and intuition/thought of the creation and existience of our human race. it is not a crime to have hope, but it is a crime to be 'religious' in my eyes.
    Really? That's a rather interesting opinion. I'm inclined to agree with you on the point that "people who consider themselves religious are liars/hypocrites/not fully conscious," but perhaps not for the same reasons. After all, I think most people, religious or not, fit into those categories quite well. It's just a part of who we are as flawed beings.

    I think it's necessary to add that I think the rest of your post is a provocative invective, to use two words that I learned today.

    Anyways, on to less important matters.

    Personally, I think it's preferable to be with someone who does not share the same beliefs as my self. Despite my own views (which are currently leaning towards agnosticism), I just think truly religious people are interesting as hell (heaven?), to put it bluntly.

    I have a story to tell about one of my experiences:

    Years ago (two years and about eight months, to be precise), I joined a Youth Group at the local church (Wesleyan, I believe the denomination was). This came to be as a result of a particular girl that convinced me to go. At first, I was naturally shy, but these Christians were a very accepting group, especially the pastor. The pastor was and is a truly inspiring character. To make a long story short, he is quite possibly the best speaker and most devoted person that I've had the pleasure of meeting in person. Even if I were a resolute atheist, I would still go to listen to him speak from time to time; such is his compelling speech.

    During my visits to this Youth group, I slowly evolved into a devout Christian. Unfortunately, I have since lost faith, but that is not the point of this story. Back to the girl. She was the first person that I truly fell in love with (if I can make such a claim; perhaps my understanding of true love at the time was minimal). It was not lust, at least that's certain. If it weren't for her, what kind of detestable state would I be in now? Even though she left me after convincing me that she loved me as I loved her, I still thank her for introducing me to her church. In fact, I will be attending this very Youth Group this weekend for the first time in months.

    To sum up (what a horrible way to end a story! ): my views on this topic are entirely based on experience, and more precisely the experience which I related above.

    That's it for now.
    com-pas-sion (n.) [ME. & OFr. <LL. (Ec.) compassio, sympathy < compassus, pp. of compati, to feel pity < L. com-, together + pali, to suffer] sorrow for the sufferings or trouble of another or others, accompanied by an urge to help; deep sympathy; pity

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  10. #10
    Registered User Oniw17's Avatar
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    I fall into the only group represented by the poll. Though I do hate it when people laugh at me after I use the word evolution(it's almost ironic), I sometimes play the champion of theists online, and I sometimes go to churches so I can listen to anecdote and metaphor.
    I think if you make a signature, you should inspire some emotion in someone else. I also think it would be pretentious for me to think I could do that.

  11. #11
    Jai Keshava NikolaiI's Avatar
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    I believe one's spirituality should transcend religion and creed, such as Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, and should transcend language barriers as well. Therefore one should study all religions, and do the prayers or rituals of those that feel comfortable, those that have the most effect, and study that religion. If one meets someone one falls in love with, who is of an entirely foreign religion, one should study the religion they neglected to learn about. After all, you love the person they are now, which is the result of their lives, on which at least some part was played by their religious practices. If you love everything about them, then you'll love their religion too. Having studied different religions, I can say that my life is many times richer because I did not just stick to one and close my mind off to the rest.

  12. #12
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    I feel comfortable with people of all religions. I in fact does not have a bit difference whether I enter a mosque or a temple I feel euqally comfortable with both the Gita and the koran.

    I am a Brahman by birht, and now despite the fact that I follow Hindu tradition at home, has a temple and do Puza (worship) every morning and go to temples with my family so often and follow many ceremoneties and festivals, yet deep down I feel comfortable with all people no matter which religions one comes of.

    I do not want to hurt anyone' sentiments by comparison, be he Muslim brother or a Jew. I love everyone though they may not like me for unseen and unknown reasons.

    For deep down we are not religious. We are beings, and earthlings. We oroginated in this small planet and we will die here.

    Therefore I feel there should be matrimonial ties between different religions.
    Of course when one marires out of the clan or caste or religion some misunderstanding takes place and it may sitr up some friction but these are
    veneers, outers.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

  13. #13
    Metamorphosing Pensive's Avatar
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    Yes.

    Beliefs certainly do matter.
    I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.

  14. #14
    Registered User Trillian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ona View Post
    i personally believe that organized 'religion' is sheer stupidity and that people who consider themselves religious are liars/hypocritical/not fully consious. this would be a big problem for me to date someone considering themselves under one finite category of faith. spiritual people do not dissapoint me however; finding thier own path and intuition/thought of the creation and existience of our human race. it is not a crime to have hope, but it is a crime to be 'religious' in my eyes.
    I consider myself "Christian", for lack of a better term, and I agree completely. Heck, even in the Bible you find Jesus holding the Pharisees up as an example of how not to be. Religion to many is the keeping up of appearances, and following the letter of the law, as it were, not bettering one's self through the application of their beliefs and using the mind God (or whoever) gave them to figure out how best to live their lives. There is a HUGE difference between religion and spirituality.

    That said, I think that love between two spiritual people is possible, regardless of the root of the spirituality. It is even possible for love to last between people of two different religions, provided that neither one is devout, or they both have an agreement before marriage and children that their children will be exposed to both religions, and be allowed to choose at an appropriate age. But I would imagine that if both people believe that the other will be doomed to eternal suffering because of their respective beliefs, they will eventually try to convert the other out of love for their partner and concern for their immortal soul, thusly causing constant strife, if nothing else. It would take a great deal of tolerance for two people of different religions to live peacefully together.

  15. #15
    Registered User muhsin's Avatar
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    As my brother/sister, Tournesol, above illustrated, also for me being a Muslim, religion does matter a lot. And it goes both ways...so I reckon it would have been better if another category or choice is added.

    Why? Personally I would want to love a girl from my religion. But yet there are lots of nice fellows from other religion, Chritianity per se, because we almost only have two religion followers predominantly in my country. As thus, I could also love a christian girl. Even in Islam its permissiable to do so and to even marry her. She's whats called 'ahlul kitaab', meaning revealed book pocessor, i.e Injeela (or now Bible).
    The source of any bad writing is the desire to be something more than a person of sense--the straining to be thought a genius. If people would say what they have to say in plain terms, how much eloquent they would be.
    -S.T COLERIDGE

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