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Thread: Love...?

  1. #1
    Complicated Simplicity Objectivist's Avatar
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    Love...?

    *This was a journal entry of mine that I turned into an essay.

    Love…?
    January 26, 2008

    I’ve pondered over this topic for quite some time now. How exactly do I define love? There are many different ways to apply the term, and on top of that I must consider the term spiritually as well as intellectually. Though I still think I have yet to truly experience a mutual love outside of my family, I believe that my definition is accurate because I do know the love of God and I do love myself. Perhaps I can convey this theory with more clarity in this essay.
    “We are all cut of the same cloth” is what rings in my mind when I ponder this topic. We are all ‘in this’ together, time will eventually lead us all to the same end. As you and I experience the positives and negatives, the good times and bad in life, so too does every other reasoning human mind on this planet. Race, religion, political standing, nationality, class, wealth,… how trivial or important are these things to you, are they not all man-made, are they not all artificial? Why is it that these things matter so much when we consider whether or not we like or love someone? Or am I wrong? Maybe I’m just blind and people really do create their opinions of others based on the one and only thing that really does matter: integrity of character. Why is it that such superficial terms exist, why are humans so bent on separating instead of unifying, why has humanity created so many things to hate and disagree with and chastise. In simplicity you can find the sublime; it doesn’t take much to love someone, in this definition of love you just need to know that we are all brethren to one another.
    Have you ever considered the love of God? Many religions refer to God as a “Father” which is also how I look at God, as a parent, a guardian, as an entity who loves it’s children under any circumstance. Why is this? When I think about it, I think of a normal parent-child relationship. I do not have children yet, but I believe that a parent loves his/her child un-conditionally because that child is an extension of themselves. We were conceived by God, whether from consciousness or from flesh Adam was made from God. Therefore, Adam was a part of God, if you will, an extension of God. Eve, who was directly born of Adam’s rib was an extension of Adam who was an extension of God and thus an extension of God as well. And so, their children and their children’s children and so-on and so-forth up until the generations of today. God is selfish, I’ve considered this for quite some time now, this is why He loves us so; God loves Himself, therefore, it’s only rational that He loves that which is of Him. Taking God out of the equation though, do we not love our families in the same manner? Do we not accept and love our family members with such a simple notion, at their portion, un-conditionally? When we come across instances where a parent or family disowns or abandons a member of their own family willingly this, to me, is just proof that humanity is flawed.
    I love everyone equally, be it family, friend, enemy, or what have you. I choose this, again, because we are all ’cut of the same cloth’, because we are all brethren, we are all in this together, as humans, time will deliver us all to the same end on this detestable planet. I’m not one to use words loosely , please don’t mistake the word ’love’ and the word ’like’. Surely I’m not the only one that’s had their parent’s say “ I love you, but I don’t love what you do”, it’s a simple example. In reality, there are very few people I can truly say that I like, however, again, I do not use words loosely. Although I can’t truly say there are many people I like, I also can’t truly say that there’s many people of whom I dislike. Why is it that I say I love everyone though? My definition of love has to do with my own selfish nature and my definition of happiness. Firstly, I believe that to love someone means that you want for that person to attain happiness. But, isn’t it a contradiction to be an egoist that wants to help someone else? No, not if my own true desire is to do so, and not if I can do so without destroying my own integrity of character. All I wish on another human being is that they can live their lives wholly from within, that they can truly be themselves in everything they do and say, that they can live this way in every aspect of human existence. I wish this for others because I can’t see myself being truly happy in the shadow of someone else, and what else can I wish for someone else other than what I have found happiness in. Perhaps, for some reason, some people can’t find happiness in that concept, this, to me, is irrelevant, for I can only live my own life to the fullest and follow the constitution of my own free will and not another‘s.
    Be warned, I may get a little sappy in the next couple of paragraphs, sorry, this is just what I believe to be true. Anyways, the word love has many applications as I mentioned earlier. I’ve been told before that the love between a man and a woman, the most intimate kind of love, is only a chemical impulse, that it’s just nature’s way of ensuring that humanity reproduces and only lasts for a few months. Alas, I am somewhat of a romantic and although this is a very reasonable philosophy I don’t believe it at all. I do believe in love at first sight, soul mates, and a mutual kind of love that transcends the limitations of human understanding. I believe that most people realize the fundamental differences between the male and female species. Men tend to apply reason and when they come across a problem they try to fix it, basically men are simple and easy to please. Women tend to rely more on their feelings and emotions, not to say they don’t apply their rationale in their lives, just not as much as men do. I think it would be safe to say that both sexes mutually compliment each other. It seems to me that the aspects of life that a man would be lacking a woman would excel and visa versa. I believe there is a reason for this, and I believe this is because we are incomplete as humans on our own. When we find our ‘significant other’ the two incomplete lives out of balance become one complete life in harmony.
    Perhaps it would be more fair to say that this is what I want to believe since I have yet to experience such an intimate love. I want to think that I will find the woman who completes me. I want to find the woman that, even if the entire world becomes my enemy she will still be with me supporting and encouraging me. I want to think that there’s a woman out there whom, if I meet and fall in love with, I would not be capable of living and attaining happiness without. How is it that I can believe in such a love? Even I wonder sometimes, I look around and see and meet so many divorcees and single parents and wonder what went wrong. I see married couples that have been together 20+ years that seem to be forcing themselves to endure. I still don’t lose my faith, I still believe that kind of love can exist. I think it takes patience to find it though, I also know that it won’t be completely perfect because we are all human.
    What is it to say those three words to someone special “I love you”. To say it to someone who is not bound to you through family; to someone who could be considered a “stranger”. Do people really know what it means to say it? I like to think I do. I simply break down the phrase. “I“, me my true self, “love“, an intense feeling of positive emotion toward, or enjoyment of, a person, “you“, the true self of whom you direct these words to. I live my life as an egoist which means somebody who believes that the correct basis for morality is self-interest. How is it that you define true love? I say that true love can be measured by sacrifice. Indeed, to be an egoist sacrificing himself for someone else, how oxymoronic is that? I just see it as that much more of a testament to love when it’s confessed. Yes “I love you” not “I love you, but I wish you were more…” no, it’s “ I love you because you’re you, no more and no less at you’re portion”. I wish to love and be loved by another egoist, to know that a selfish and normally self-serving woman would go out of her way to sacrifice for the sake of loving someone who is other than herself, and me for her. Indeed, for two true individuals to become a single individual entity is truly precious and beautiful,… to me.
    In my opinion, I think it’s important for someone to gain a deeper understanding of love before they try to get married and have children. Are these not the two outcomes of love? I’ve never been able to understand how people can get married and have kids (not necessarily in that order) before their senior year of high school. I’m even more perplexed by the confused and sad faces of both parties when the divorce happens in less than five years. I’m not saying that true love can’t be found at that age but, how are people who haven’t even fully matured physically and mentally supposed to even know what love is? People tend to look at me side-ways when I tell them I don’t plan on getting married until I’m about thirty and I don’t want kids until I’m about thirty-five. Well, what is it that people want when they fall in love, I can’t speak honestly for anyone but myself, so, I want happiness, period. When I speak of having a wife and children my happiness depends on their happiness, my suffering is their suffering etc. How can I make someone else happy when I don’t even know what will make me happy. I don’t want to have a wife and kids that are un-happy, I want to make sure that when the time comes happiness for me and my family will be almost effortless, therefore, I want to take the time to reach a state of knowing without a doubt that I can make them happy before I even try.
    I’ll close with this, one of the few things I can say is still pure and good on this planet; that I can say is truly positive beyond question is love. Look at what atrocities mankind has created throughout history: war, crime, racism, false religion, governments that starve their own countries, incurable diseases, of all these things is it not love that transcends and counters almost all negativity? Does money, a good job, a home, and a car, not cause the recipient stress and worry? Love doesn’t cost a thing and I have yet to find anything negative about it. Even the most despicable people on the planet can cleanse themselves in love, I believe. I believe that mutual human love must be the greatest natural gift to mankind.

  2. #2
    The Word is Serendipitous Lote-Tree's Avatar
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    Love is just a feeling...slowly fading away...says the song...

    I can't take my eyes off you...until...I meet someone new...goes another...
    I sent my Soul through the Invisible,
    Some letter of that After-life to spell:
    And by and by my Soul return'd to me,
    And answer'd "I Myself am Heav'n and Hell :"


    Blog: Rubaiyats of Lote-Tree and Poetry and Tales

  3. #3
    Jealous Optimist Dori's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Objectivist View Post
    Race, religion, political standing, nationality, class, wealth,… how trivial or important are these things to you, are they not all man-made, are they not all artificial? Why is it that these things matter so much when we consider whether or not we like or love someone? Or am I wrong?
    I have a deep love for my country. I take politcal standing and religions into account because they tell a lot about the person. As for race, I find certain races more attractive than others. Class and wealth really don't play a big part in loving as far as I can tell.

    Quote Originally Posted by Objectivist View Post
    Why is it that such superficial terms exist, why are humans so bent on separating instead of unifying, why has humanity created so many things to hate and disagree with and chastise. In simplicity you can find the sublime; it doesn’t take much to love someone, in this definition of love you just need to know that we are all brethren to one another.
    I think it's human nature to want to belong. However, we all do belong to mankind.

    Quote Originally Posted by Objectivist View Post
    I love everyone equally, be it family, friend, enemy, or what have you.
    Really? That is hard to imagine. Didn't you say that the love between a man and a woman is most intimate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Objectivist View Post
    Perhaps it would be more fair to say that this is what I want to believe since I have yet to experience such an intimate love. I want to think that I will find the woman who completes me. I want to find the woman that, even if the entire world becomes my enemy she will still be with me supporting and encouraging me. I want to think that there’s a woman out there whom, if I meet and fall in love with, I would not be capable of living and attaining happiness without. How is it that I can believe in such a love? Even I wonder sometimes, I look around and see and meet so many divorcees and single parents and wonder what went wrong. I see married couples that have been together 20+ years that seem to be forcing themselves to endure. I still don’t lose my faith, I still believe that kind of love can exist. I think it takes patience to find it though, I also know that it won’t be completely perfect because we are all human.
    What is it to say those three words to someone special “I love you”. To say it to someone who is not bound to you through family; to someone who could be considered a “stranger”. Do people really know what it means to say it? I like to think I do. I simply break down the phrase. “I“, me my true self, “love“, an intense feeling of positive emotion toward, or enjoyment of, a person, “you“, the true self of whom you direct these words to. I live my life as an egoist which means somebody who believes that the correct basis for morality is self-interest. How is it that you define true love? I say that true love can be measured by sacrifice. Indeed, to be an egoist sacrificing himself for someone else, how oxymoronic is that? I just see it as that much more of a testament to love when it’s confessed. Yes “I love you” not “I love you, but I wish you were more…” no, it’s “ I love you because you’re you, no more and no less at you’re portion”. I wish to love and be loved by another egoist, to know that a selfish and normally self-serving woman would go out of her way to sacrifice for the sake of loving someone who is other than herself, and me for her. Indeed, for two true individuals to become a single individual entity is truly precious and beautiful,… to me.
    Good luck with all that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Objectivist View Post
    In my opinion, I think it’s important for someone to gain a deeper understanding of love before they try to get married and have children. Are these not the two outcomes of love? I’ve never been able to understand how people can get married and have kids (not necessarily in that order) before their senior year of high school.
    A lot of people are too impatient to gain a deeper understanding of love. If you believe in love at first sight, how is that consistent with your opinion of people gaining a deeper understanding of love? You're implying that love takes time to understand, but can happen at the blink of an eye.

    Quote Originally Posted by Objectivist View Post
    I’ll close with this, one of the few things I can say is still pure and good on this planet; that I can say is truly positive beyond question is love. Look at what atrocities mankind has created throughout history: war, crime, racism, false religion, governments that starve their own countries, incurable diseases, of all these things is it not love that transcends and counters almost all negativity? Does money, a good job, a home, and a car, not cause the recipient stress and worry? Love doesn’t cost a thing and I have yet to find anything negative about it. Even the most despicable people on the planet can cleanse themselves in love, I believe. I believe that mutual human love must be the greatest natural gift to mankind.
    Love costs a lot in my book. Not money, but I think you can infer what I mean.
    com-pas-sion (n.) [ME. & OFr. <LL. (Ec.) compassio, sympathy < compassus, pp. of compati, to feel pity < L. com-, together + pali, to suffer] sorrow for the sufferings or trouble of another or others, accompanied by an urge to help; deep sympathy; pity

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  4. #4
    Complicated Simplicity Objectivist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dori View Post
    Really? That is hard to imagine. Didn't you say that the love between a man and a woman is most intimate?
    Yes, I did, and thus enters the limitation of the English lexicon. You took my words out of context, too. In the paragraph you took that quote from I was describing that particular type of love. In the paragraph that I mentioned intimate love I was expressing my views on that type of love. But, thank you for that, I do see how the reader can be confused due to the lack of my explainations. I believe that in Latin, the English word "love" has two or three translations that specify these notions in single words.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dori View Post
    Good luck with all that.
    Thanks! And, if it's safe for me to assume you love something as trivial as you're geographical location, and that you classify people on political and religious status, two things that are strongly imposed on humans in most societies, then it would be safe to assume that you either don't know about or simply reject the ideas of trancending the material world, individuality and non-bias thought, and the differences between the term egoist and egotist. If this is true (reguardless of how it's percieved) then you probably have no idea of what I base that statment on, read more Emerson...

    Quote Originally Posted by Dori View Post
    A lot of people are too impatient to gain a deeper understanding of love. If you believe in love at first sight, how is that consistent with your opinion of people gaining a deeper understanding of love? You're implying that love takes time to understand, but can happen at the blink of an eye.
    Again, thank you, you have shown me again how my lack of specification can confuse and misdirect the reader, sorry. If I were to go back and repair this mistake I would specify by saying: "... of course, you can't have 'love at first sight' if either party cannot define the term 'love'...". Still inconsistent? Well, my point in the statement you quoted was that, to me, it's highly unlikely that the 'high-school Junior' families and the divorcees I mentioned actually knew what love was when they made the decisions they made. But, all-in-all, you're right, I did not provide enough information in the essay and you percieved what I wrote to be inconsistent and/or a contradiction. Sorry.

    * just a note: most of my journals and essays are based strictly on personal perception, so, it's possible that I just might be human and make a few mistakes in interpreting my perceptions.

  5. #5
    Jealous Optimist Dori's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Objectivist View Post
    Yes, I did, and thus enters the limitation of the English lexicon. You took my words out of context, too. In the paragraph you took that quote from I was describing that particular type of love. In the paragraph that I mentioned intimate love I was expressing my views on that type of love. But, thank you for that, I do see how the reader can be confused due to the lack of my explainations. I believe that in Latin, the English word "love" has two or three translations that specify these notions in single words.
    The limitation of the English lexicon? I thought it was the largest in the world. Also, you're probably right; I took your words out of context. You're welcome, by the way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Objectivist View Post
    Thanks! And, if it's safe for me to assume you love something as trivial as you're geographical location, and that you classify people on political and religious status, two things that are strongly imposed on humans in most societies, then it would be safe to assume that you either don't know about or simply reject the ideas of trancending the material world, individuality and non-bias thought, and the differences between the term egoist and egotist. If this is true (reguardless of how it's percieved) then you probably have no idea of what I base that statment on, read more Emerson...
    Will do, will do. I've read some Thoreau, but I have yet to read Emerson. The thing is, I haven't transgressed the barriers of reasonable doubt in many areas of my perception. I remain a skeptic for now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Objectivist View Post
    * just a note: most of my journals and essays are based strictly on personal perception, so, it's possible that I just might be human and make a few mistakes in interpreting my perceptions.
    I understand completely.

    It was an interesting read, I must say.
    com-pas-sion (n.) [ME. & OFr. <LL. (Ec.) compassio, sympathy < compassus, pp. of compati, to feel pity < L. com-, together + pali, to suffer] sorrow for the sufferings or trouble of another or others, accompanied by an urge to help; deep sympathy; pity

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  6. #6
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    Indeed this is a good essay and in point of fact it has wonderful ideas very original too.

    We have too many opinions ideas. When we see a flower we rationalize it and even try to know the species of it rather than enjoying the beauty of it.

    Love has no definition and it is complete in itself.

    Love is what not love is, not the word of it, but the thing itself. Love is not the thing we understand, and it is something beyond words, and we can not intern love within a limit or boundary of words or structures of sentence.

    Love is something that goes eternally and uninhibitedly.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

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