Exposition Question

[Bennett_Star]

I've been working on a short story (3 pages short... 50 pages short, I do not know yet) today with little direction, but more as a test piece to understand my style and perhaps find a momentum to work into a writing mode. I do not actually write very often, or read recreationally, so maybe I'm fighting an uphill battle; however, I am somewhat eager to find the time to begin doing so. I'm currently bogged down with many school obligations that make this difficult to get into.

As for my specific question, I would like to know how continuing from where I have ended here with background on the parents, with minimal direct relation to the opening action, would offset the occurrences of the immediate past. It seems a fitting time to introduce the parents, but then again I do not want to drift off the main point and have to reawaken the reader to its presence. And I want a defined conclusion to the starting action, but I see the necessity for exposition, that I wish to incorporate into her thought process engagingly. How much exposition is too much? Should I make brief reference to the parents, find a unique way to incorporate individual facts through the process of her mind? Would a paragraph or two of background information be overdoing it?


Here is what I have...
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The thought crept up on her as the still air burned the moisture of her eyes envisioning a dark blur swirling above them in a fierce dance with her racing mind. Lost within her own head, the products of her industrious brain spilled across the lightless room and floated about as real as the bed she lay in. The floodgates of denial had lost its gatekeeper to the twin demons of rest and relaxation leading to the current predicament: reflection. Her reflexive thoughts poured out around her motionless body threatening to inundate her in every negative prospect within her imagination. She felt as if she was drowning in her own derisiveness. Though the torrent seemed endless, sporadic, as the possibilities came rushing through the open portal of her mind, the one thought she could not escape from was: Why do I live?

Timeless though the question may be, this was Janine’s time to ask. Janine turned her head to look at the red glow previously concealed by her jumbled and tangled auburn hair sprawled about her tear soaked pillow. A few forced blinks cleared her vision enough to read 2:44 on the digital display. At 2:44 on Wednesday morning, it was Janine’s time to ask the timeless question. In the short sixteen years and 361 days of her existence, never had the question seemed as difficult to answer as it had now. The mere suggestion that life may not be rewarding enough to live would have been laughable just a year ago. The meaning of life was to fulfill oneself with accomplishments and to enjoy the companionship and respect of loved ones. This answer simply was no longer satisfying to Janine’s ravenous mind. There had to be more.

More? What “more” could I ask for? What have I truly accomplished? Whom do I truly love, and loves me back?... Marcus.

The thought dissipated. She recalled lovingly of her mother and father who she had always adored....

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[pbmn]

If you were to end the main topic exactly as you have it, with the ... and all, you would definitely, in my opinion, be able to show a little "flashback" or some other background information with her parents (although, I personally think a flashback would fit best) that would easily fit in, and would not completely disrupt the flow of your story. Are you talking about a coming birthday (seventeenth)? Then you could do a flashback to a very fond birthday or something.... Not my choice.

Ummm, yeah, I mean, a few paragraphs (don't overdo it) on her past wouldn't hurt too much. Although, wait for some other insight, don't back your decision on me.

If you have what you want to write in mind, would you care to post it? That would more than likely make it easier for us to have an opinion on your question.

[DickZ]

You write very well, which is a little surprising since you say you don't write very often, or read recreationally. At least your question is worded very well and gives the impression that you have written things before. Your story, on the other hand, has a little awkwardness in its wording that is similar to pbmn's Through the Eyes of an Eagle. The only way to smooth out that awkwardness is to continue writing, as well as to read the works of good writers. You will find that if you continue, you will improve over time.

While I'm no authority on this stuff, I have dabbled with writing over the past several years. I would suggest to you, just as I did to pbmn, that you continue your story. Don't expect too much advice from others on how to do anything, because you know your story much better than anybody else. Go ahead and make your plans on how the story should evolve, but recognize that as you proceed down the road, you might change your initial plans based on how things work out.

The good thing about writing today is that we can use word processors rather than chisel our words into stone tablets. That way, it's easy to change things as we proceed. When it doesn't work out as we had planned, we can adapt to the evolving situation without having to start over on a new set of stone tablets.