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Thread: Two short, not particularly happy poems

  1. #1
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Two short, not particularly happy poems



    1

    There's trouble brewing in my neighbour's eye:
    loneliness, like a shock,
    prickling the back of his neck,
    and he, no more than I, has the answer.

    'These are troubled times,'
    we exclaim without speaking,
    now his curtains drawn,
    now mine.


    2

    Madness is stalking our buttons,
    eager to snaffle them up,
    cheap or dear. Even the zippers
    have gone to join an international cartel.

    What Marx left out of the equation
    was spite, and despair. There are some
    who would rather crack heads
    than watch their profits rise.

  2. #2
    solid motherhubbard's Avatar
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    I thought it said two short particularly happy poems. I was cought a little by suprise. I still liked them, after I changed my thinking toward not happy

  3. #3
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    I like them both very much. Maybe I prefer the first one. I like the tone of them, especially the 'unsaid' quality of the first one.

  4. #4
    Ruadh gu brath ampoule's Avatar
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    I am partial to #1 because it was one of the very first of your poems that I read. I thought it so powerful. #2 is catching up.
    I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.

    "If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor

  5. #5
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ampoule View Post
    I am partial to #1 because it was one of the very first of your poems that I read. I thought it so powerful. #2 is catching up.
    #3, I assure you, far FAR outstripped the other 2. Unfortunately, the dog ate it up.

  6. #6
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweets America View Post
    I like them both very much. Maybe I prefer the first one. I like the tone of them, especially the 'unsaid' quality of the first one.
    Ah, my love, very little is left unsaid between you and me - but there is so much yet to be said!
    "You must be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi

  7. #7
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    I liked both of these pieces, brevity (aka compression, distillation) is always a hit with me.
    The first poem reminded me of "Mending Wall." (I mean that as a compliment.)
    The only thing that I'd add to the second is that my opinion is that the most important thing that Marx "left out of the equation" is the deep-seated, spiritual needs of mankind. Marx and Engels were so blinded by their creation of dialectical materialism that they forgot that man does not live by bread alone.

  8. #8
    Freak Ingenu Countess's Avatar
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    I like the latter better for the philosophical reference. I admit to a proclivity towards reflective poetry ( as well as emotional poetry), because it gives me something to think about and ponder. This poem did the same (and yes, you're absolutely correct: Utopia would be great if mankind wasn't the universal screw-up as it is.)
    Madness is my defense against Reality.

  9. #9
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Countess View Post
    I like the latter better for the philosophical reference. I admit to a proclivity towards reflective poetry ( as well as emotional poetry), because it gives me something to think about and ponder. This poem did the same (and yes, you're absolutely correct: Utopia would be great if mankind wasn't the universal screw-up as it is.)
    Well do please check out my http://www.online-literature.com/for...ad.php?t=31347

    it's reflective, emotional... and no animals were sacrificed in the production of it!

  10. #10
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    I really like the sharpness of #1. It does very much remind me of Mending Wall.

    #2 seems less poetic.

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