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Thread: Dust to Dust!

  1. #1
    mazHur mazHur's Avatar
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    Exclamation This Earth is a Killer Wave!

    This Earth is a Killer Wave !
    by mazHur

    Don't be proud of your beauty,sweet,
    Your beauty is no more than a flicker of light,
    a moment here, the next nowhere !
    a flower that will bloom in spring
    is fated to eternally roll in dust;
    Many a rose that smiled before
    and as many other beauteous flowers--
    the Camelias, Peonies, Magnolias,Yuccas,Violets,
    Lilies, Hawthorns---just to name a few that brightened the hearts
    with their exuberant looks,
    that nourished the fountain of love with joy,
    that were adornments of the Devi of love ,
    have left the garden and gulped by the hungry earth,
    all gone dust to dust,
    no more to be seen, no more to be relished with love;
    Ah, what a stark fate for beauty and youth!
    the few flowers that we see blooming in life's garden
    are just a remembrance of the innumerable lost
    to the un-satiated hunger of this voluptuous earth
    always on the look out for young and beautiful things
    for its irresistible subsistence and survival.
    This earth is a killer wave !
    Last edited by mazHur; 12-29-2007 at 07:46 PM. Reason: changes
    ===============-
    When asked how World War III would be fought, Einstein replied that he didn't know. But he knew how World War IV would be fought: With sticks and stones.
    -(:===============

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    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    A pretty nice piece of work. I would make a couple of changes: shorten the catalogue (list) of flowers to just a couple; that way you really would be naming "just a few."
    Also, I would expand a little bit about the killer whale. Some people find sea mammals in general and whales in particular to be objects of beauty themselves. The name might be a misnomer; killer whales are really not all that more vicious than other species.

    But I get the point -- that those who are proud of their beauty are foolish, since that particular quality is short-lived.

  3. #3
    mazHur mazHur's Avatar
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    nice idea, thanks. Have done the necessary changes accordingly
    best
    ===============-
    When asked how World War III would be fought, Einstein replied that he didn't know. But he knew how World War IV would be fought: With sticks and stones.
    -(:===============

  4. #4
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    I am indeed familiar with your poems.I have read a lot.

    Here I agree hundred percent with you in defining and of course confining love things. This is indeed a really nice one of course about love and the way we idealize it does not prove true regarding love.

    Love is wave that sleeps down in a fraction of a second.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

  5. #5
    Yes! crazefest456's Avatar
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    mazhur, I have no qualifications to say this (cuz I'm new to poetry) but i'll say this anyway:
    I really loved the use of 'whale' (I know, I didn't comment on it before) because it gives such good, suitable underlying descriptions of the earth. How the killer whale has medicinal properties and how it's almost an endangered species because of the lack of prey, all seems to tie in with earth's role in your poem.
    And
    This Earth is a Killer Whale!
    reminded of the starting of the song 'Bullet with Butterfly Wings' by Smashing Pumpkins (I hope I'm doing justice to your poem):
    The world is a vampire, sent to drain
    Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
    And what do I get, for my pain?
    Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
    I don't know, do you see what I mean?

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    Springing Riesa's Avatar
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    my first thought is I can't read it the font is too large
    but I will go back and try to read what it is you are saying.

    and what you are saying is..
    nice, got it, heard it, very nice to remind us of some outdated...and lovely ideas



    I suggest to branch out. or else sing.
    Last edited by Riesa; 12-30-2007 at 02:37 AM.
    "Don't matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this house, they are company and don't let me catch you remarking on their ways like you were so high and mighty."

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    Springing Riesa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazefest456 View Post
    mazhur, I have no qualifications to say this (cuz I'm new to poetry) but i'll say this anyway:
    I really loved the use of 'whale' (I know, I didn't comment on it before) because it gives such good, suitable underlying descriptions of the earth. How the killer whale has medicinal properties and how it's almost an endangered species because of the lack of prey, all seems to tie in with earth's role in your poem.
    And

    reminded of the starting of the song 'Bullet with Butterfly Wings' by Smashing Pumpkins (I hope I'm doing justice to your poem):


    I don't know, do you see what I mean?

    "Don't matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this house, they are company and don't let me catch you remarking on their ways like you were so high and mighty."

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    Yes! crazefest456's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riesa View Post
    I know, I'm too goofy...

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