I have this recurring dream
in which you come home
for Christmas.
not me.
and we make a point
to see each other.
You say hi!
(dear goodness,
i've missed you)
from
your actor smile.
And I say
(Stay with me!)
How ARE you?
too enthusiastically.
You tell me how
good
it is
to see me
and I hug you
sideways
like i don't
love
you.