"Do you mind if I reel in this fish?" - Dale Harris
"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." - Ernest Hemingway
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Again I like your writing style LC. I personally don't find a problem with the which pump comment. Although most gas stores back then were one pump locations, unless they were in a larger community. All gas was gas back then, although in the early 1920's lead additives were being introduced to gas to promote a higher octane reading and reduce engine knock.
I think your style is slightly pulp, which is fine. I personally love pulp fiction. I can only say that from the snippets of what you've posted though. I would like to read some of your stories from start to finish. B
"I am glad to learn my friend that you had not yet submitted yourself to any of the mouldy laws of Literature."
-John Muir
"My candle burns at both ends; It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends - It gives a lovely light"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Got more Ty Mcleod and The Morgan Twins comin yer way ladies n vermin!!!!
VIVA MAY-HEE-COE ...GAW DANG IT!!!
Last edited by Lonesome Cowboy; 12-16-2008 at 08:49 PM.
Haha, oh wow. That's gotta be a record.
J
The Town of Kiowa as we know it today was settled in 1859 along the banks of Kiowa Creek and was originally nothing more than a stage stop. Such trails as the Smoky Hill South (aka the Starvation trail), the Butterfield Overland Dispatch, and Wells Fargo made their stops in Kiowa on the way to Denver and the fold fields of the Rockies.
The original settlement was named “Wendling” after Henry Wendling Henry ran the stage station and was one of the early settlers in the area. Sometime during the 1860’s the name was changed to “ Middle Kiowa”. Why “ Middle Kiowa” you might ask? The reason was that at one time there were two settlements along Kiowa Creek-one named “High Kiowa”, the other “ Low Kiowa”. It is really unclear why the creek and settlements were named Kiowa. The Kiowa Indian tribe in Colorado spent most of their time further south, however it has been said that this area was their summer hunting grounds and compared to the other local tribes were usually “on the attack”.
The two main tribes that were in this area were the Cheyenne and the Arapahoe.
In 1874, four horse thieves were caught about 15 miles up creek and brought into town before Judge Fahrion. For three days the trial lingered, finally on the third night, a group of about 50 masked men overpowered the sheriff and deputies and loaded the four men into a wagon. They took them to an outcropping of pine trees southeast of town and with the men still shackled together in twos, they were hung together in twos-with their shackles still on.
Although I enjoyed the description and especially the little historical details like the “Coolidge 4 President campaign button,” I had a hard time with this story. I see that you are trying to portray a young “hothead” who’s ready to resort to violence at the least provocation, but the encounter you described doesn’t come across as believable to me. Perhaps if you found something just a little more substantive that the two men could have an argument about…
Then there are a bunch of little things that just distracted me – missing punctuation throughout, placing periods after question marks, using triple exclamation marks!!! (one is enough), spelling “pick up” when you meant “pickup” or “pick-up” -- yeah, I know I’m being a nitpick on this, but if those things distracted me, they probably distracted other readers, too.
A just conception of life is too large a thing to grasp during the short interval of passing through it.
Thomas Hardy
Thank u for the comments 108. I'll get on the corrections.
I like this short, although you could say
it wasn't long enough. Written professionally,
a quick skip to the action, some poetic
narrative... I score this 79 points. Minus 1
point fer mis-spelling "through". Thanks.
that was
well written. feels like there is more to come. I guess you could log this as a kind of late western. Are you interested in this period?
Thank you kindly Done. 79 points you say? I'll take it! Where do I sign partner!
Last edited by Lonesome Cowboy; 03-02-2019 at 09:49 PM.