Your favourite comic poem

[poehee99]

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Most poems are on love or life and it seems that many people believe that a poem should be serious, but i would like to hear your favourite comic poems.
here's one of my favourites:

Opportunity

When Mrs Gorm (Aunt Eloise)
was stung to death by savage bees
Her husband (Pebendary Gorm)
put on his veil, and took the swarm
He's publishing a book next May
on 'How to make bee-keeping pay'

Harry Graham 1874-1936

[Isagel]

What a good idea for a thread. My favorite comic poem writer is Mervyn Peake. They say that his comic writings are full of philosphy and his serious work is full of humour. These three poems are from his "Book of nonsense".
I think you might enjoy them.

The trouble with geraniums

The trouble with geraniums
is that they’re much too red!
The trouble with my toast is that
it’s far too full of bread.

The trouble with a diamond
is that it’s much too bright.
The same applies to fish and stars
and the electric light.

The troubles with the stars I see
lies in the way they fly.
The trouble with myself is all
self-centred in the eye.

The trouble with my looking-glass
is that it shows me, me;
there’s trouble in all sorts of things
where it should never be.

Aunty Flo

When Aunty Flo
Became a Crow
She had a bed put in a tree;
And there she lay
And read all day
Of ornithology.
´

Uncle Jake

When Uncle Jake
Became a Snake
He never found it out;
And so as no one mentions it
One sees him still about.

[Isagel]

I now this is double posting - but I ju7st got this poem by email. It just fitted so very well:


The Subway Piranhas

Did anyone tell you
that in each subway train
there is one special seat
with a small hole in it
and underneath the seat
is a tank of piranha-fish
which have not been fed
for quite some time.
The fish become quite agitated
by the shoogling of the train
and jump up through the seat.
The resulting skeletons
of unlucky passengers
turn an honest penny
for the transport executive,
hanging far and wide
in medical schools.

-- Edwin Morgan

bakgrund
Some years ago, Edwin Morgan was commissioned by the
Scottish Arts Councilto write a series of poems for the inauguration of
Glasgow's refurbished Underground system. He sent this
sample, which sent such alarm through the Strathclyde
transport executive that they decided against using the
poems.

[poehee99]

you were right isagel i did enjoy them. i had never heard of Mervyn Peake, but now i'll look up more of his poems. how about this one then:

Thomas Moore 1779-1852

on taking a wife

'Come come', said Tom's father, 'At your time of life,
there's no longer excuse for thus playing the rake.
It's time you should think, boy, of taking a wife.'
'Why so it is, father. Whose wife shall I take?'

and for those of you who might be offended by the last one, here's one to make it up to you

Wendy Cope 1945-now

Bloody Men (that's not swearing is it?)

Bloody men are like bloody buses-
you wait for about a year
and as soon as one approaches your stop
two or three others appear.

You look at them flashing their indicators,
offering you a ride.
you're trying to read the destinations,
you haven't much time to decide.

if you make a mistake, there is no turning back.
jump off, and you'll stand there and gaze
While the cars and the taxis and lorries go by
and the minutes, the hours, the days.

[Isagel]

Ha! In sweden there is a saying "Men are like trams - there always another one" - but I thought that Wendy Cope did a better description.

This is perhaps a totally different kind of humour, but it makes me smile anyway:

Danse Russe
William Carlos Williams
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If when my wife is sleeping
and the baby and Kathleen
are sleeping
and the sun is a flame-white disc
in silken mists
above shining trees,-
if I in my north room
dance naked, grotesquely
before my mirror
waving my shirt round my head
and singing softly to myself:
"I am lonely, lonely,
I was born to be lonely,
I am best so!"
If I admire my arms, my face,
my shoulders, flanks, buttocks
against the yellow drawn shades,-

Who shall say I am not
the happy genius of my household?

[amuse]

we so needed a thread like this - thanks!!!!

[poehee99]

The Pig - N.N.

It was an evening in November
as I very well remember
I was strolling down the street in drunken pride,
but my knees were all a-flutter,
and I landed in the gutter
and a pig came up and lay down by my side

Yes, I lay there in the gutter
thinking thoughts I could not utter
when a colleen passing by did softly say
'You can tell a man who boozes
by the company he chooses'
and the pig got up and slowly walked away.

[bjortan]

We've come a long way
said the Cigarette Scientist
as he destroyed a live rabbit
to show the students how it worked.

He took its heart out
plugged it into an electric pump
that kept it beating for nearly two hours.

I know rabbits who can keep their hearts
beating for nearly seven years.

And look at the electricity they save.

(Spike Milligan)

[Isagel]

The Purple Cow

The Purple Cow's Projected Feast:
Reflections on a Mythic Beast,
Who's Quite Remarkable, at Least.

I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.

-- Gelett Burgess

Burgess was later quite annoyed by the fact that the cow poem was the one of his works that had claimed fame. He wrote this :


CONFESSION: and a Portrait, Too,
Upon a Background that I Rue!

Ah, Yes! I Wrote the "Purple Cow" --
I'm Sorry, now, I Wrote it!
But I can Tell you Anyhow,
I'll Kill you if you Quote it!

-- Gelett Burgess

[poehee99]

Roald dahl 1916-1960

St. Ives

As I was going to st Ives
I met a man with seven wives.
Said he, 'I think it's much more fun
than getting stuck with only one.'

Hot and Cold

A woman who my mother knows
came in and took off all her clothes

Said I, not being very old
'Bij golly gosh, you must be cold!'
'No, no"!' she cried. 'Indeed I'm not!
I'm feeling devilishly hot!'

So long for the man i always thought was an author of childrens books. well the GVR was one of my favourites. I don't know what it was called in english, but it must be something like the friendly giant or something like that.

[mono]

Any of the few poems Ambrose Bierce wrote always seem oddly humorous. Follow this link, enjoy: http://jollyroger.com/classicalpoetr...Ambrose+Bierce

[Isagel]

The Uncertainty of the Poet

I am a poet.
I am very fond of bananas.

I am bananas.
I am very fond of a poet.

I am a poet of bananas.
I am very fond.

A fond poet of 'I am, I am'-
Very bananas.

Fond of 'Am I bananas?
Am I?'-a very poet.

Bananas of a poet!
Am I fond? Am I very?

Poet bananas! I am.
I am fond of a 'very.'

I am of very fond bananas.
Am I a poet?

-- Wendy Cope

( I have to admit that I did not find all these poems on my own. I have a friend who sends me at least a poem a week. This is from the collection he has sent me so far. )

[poehee99]

Humbert Wolfe 1885-1940

You cannot hope
to bribe or twist,
thank God! the
British journalist

But, seeing what
the man will do
unbribed, there's
no occasion to

John Wilmot, earl of Rochester 1647-1680

Here lies our mutton-eating king
whose word no man relies on
Who never said a foolish thing,
nor ever did a wise one

[Tabac]

By Robert W. Service

http://www.wordfocus.com/wordactcremation.html

[poehee99]

Sir Walter Raleigh

I wish I loved the human race
I wished I loved its silly face
And when I'm introduced to one
I wish I thought What jolly fun!