Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: What is love?

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    6

    What is love?

    Love is just a state of mind,
    We enter it as if we’re blind.
    Love is death love is life,
    Love is trouble love is strife.

    Love is something we cannot see,
    Yet from love we cannot flee.
    Love is the reason for life itself,
    Sometimes we leave love on the shelf.

    Love is the very air that we breathe,
    Love is something that we bequeath.
    Love is happy love is sad,
    Love can sometimes drive us mad.

    Love is seldom easily attained,
    Sometimes solid and sometimes strained.
    Love is distant love is near,
    Sometimes obscure and sometimes clear.

    Love is funny love is sad,
    Sometimes good and sometimes bad.
    Love is simple love is plain,
    Sometimes mad and sometimes sane.

    Love is black love is white,
    Sometimes wrong and sometimes right.
    Love is cold love is hot,
    Sometimes hidden but not forgot.

    What is love I hear you ask?
    To answer this would be a task.
    For just as love is not constrained
    Love just cannot be explained.

  2. #2
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Kathmandu
    Posts
    4,959
    Quote Originally Posted by MIKE444 View Post
    Love is just a state of mind,
    We enter it as if we’re blind.
    Love is death love is life,
    Love is trouble love is strife.

    Love is something we cannot see,
    Yet from love we cannot flee.
    Love is the reason for life itself,
    Sometimes we leave love on the shelf.

    Love is the very air that we breathe,
    Love is something that we bequeath.
    Love is happy love is sad,
    Love can sometimes drive us mad.

    Love is seldom easily attained,
    Sometimes solid and sometimes strained.
    Love is distant love is near,
    Sometimes obscure and sometimes clear.

    Love is funny love is sad,
    Sometimes good and sometimes bad.
    Love is simple love is plain,
    Sometimes mad and sometimes sane.

    Love is black love is white,
    Sometimes wrong and sometimes right.
    Love is cold love is hot,
    Sometimes hidden but not forgot.

    What is love I hear you ask?
    To answer this would be a task.
    For just as love is not constrained
    Love just cannot be explained.
    This is indeed a good definition of love, and of course a classical one. Yet love is the opposite of hate is, and love is not without strife and friction. We idelaize love, but love is different than what we take it to be. When you fall fro a beautiful girl, can you make sure that it is sheer love and nothing else? Revisit this domain too.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

  3. #3
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Blue Ridge Mountains, SW VA
    Posts
    21,250
    Blog Entries
    133

    Exclamation

    Once again Mike, I think your poem is good, but could be better. You write in rhyme, (I'm one to talk, I have more sonnets on here than anyone else, I know) but rhyme needs to flow easily not be stilted. By this I mean you should never reach a point in the poem where it seems you had to change words to make the rhyme.

    Now using your theme of Love Is...

    Love is the empty feeling of butterflies, the hope that you won't get stage fright;
    Love makes you a helpless fool, love also can make a coward into a brave man.
    Love tiptoes sofly in the twilight, love marches to the beat of its own drum.
    Love is the longing, and the fullfillment, love is a hand to hold when sunset fades to black.

    That is unrhymed poetry, giving you more leeway with your words. Try it.

    Pen
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    6

    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Pendragon View Post
    Once again Mike, I think your poem is good, but could be better. You write in rhyme, (I'm one to talk, I have more sonnets on here than anyone else, I know) but rhyme needs to flow easily not be stilted. By this I mean you should never reach a point in the poem where it seems you had to change words to make the rhyme.

    Now using your theme of Love Is...

    Love is the empty feeling of butterflies, the hope that you won't get stage fright;
    Love makes you a helpless fool, love also can make a coward into a brave man.
    Love tiptoes sofly in the twilight, love marches to the beat of its own drum.
    Love is the longing, and the fullfillment, love is a hand to hold when sunset fades to black.

    That is unrhymed poetry, giving you more leeway with your words. Try it.

    Pen
    Pendragon,

    Being new to the world of poetry my understanding of good poetry is minimal and I much appreciate your advice.
    I have quite a way to go before I could even contemplate writing poetry of the caliber that you produce.
    I usually write my poems from the top of my head and usually within less than half an hour and sometime in as little as ten minutes.
    I have very little time to write my poetry, (two jobs) but hope with time that I can advance to being able to put some real thought into writing free verse.
    one day my friend, one day.
    I thank you for your advice.
    Regards....Tom.

  5. #5
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    next door to the lady in the vinegar bottle
    Posts
    5,089
    Blog Entries
    72
    Rhyme is an extremely useful device when shaping a poem.
    If nothing else, it helps the writer get the rhythm right; it can help him when a line or two doesn't scan. (Of course, I'm not talking about Ogden Nash.)

    Specifically, about this particular piece, and I don't want this criticism to be taken offensively: love is as appropriate subject as any for a lyric, but with any topic it's important to remember that the writer has to say something new, something that hasn't already been written a thousand times before. OR-- if you want to reiterate what has already been said about the subject, he should try a NEW way or a NEW form.

    The piece in question very much reminded me of the song
    "Love" by Cole Porter. It was a hit by Lena Horne, Nat King Cole,Billie Holiday, and many other great artists. Do an internet search of that song if you have time -- then listen to how Cole's lyrics put a brand-new (for the time) spin on the mysterious topic of Love.

    I hope you will keep writing!

    Sincerely,
    Auntie

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    ny
    Posts
    12
    I really like this peice it really defines the better quality of love.

  7. #7
    Night Closet Night Closet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    EGYPT , CAIRO
    Posts
    36
    I loved it ...It's really expressive....Yeah ! i think love is all what you said ...Yet i think there is some more left for us to add...Nice poem .
    Virtue itslef turns vice, being misapplied;
    And vice sometime's by action dignified.

    Romeo And Juliet, W.Shakespeare


    When i'll be ;
    When my end will be

  8. #8
    Registered User Zelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Somewhere Under The Rainbow
    Posts
    219
    I like the poem, but I feel the need to admit that when I read the title, my mind jumped to the Cher song...
    "Everytime I look in your eyes, everyday I'm watching you die."

  9. #9
    happens all the time andrew23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    philippines
    Posts
    90
    Quote Originally Posted by Pendragon View Post
    Love is the empty feeling of butterflies, the hope that you won't get stage fright;
    Love makes you a helpless fool, love also can make a coward into a brave man.
    Love tiptoes sofly in the twilight, love marches to the beat of its own drum.
    Love is the longing, and the fullfillment, love is a hand to hold when sunset fades to black.
    That was beautiful Pen. It was honest, truthful, and beautiful. I felt what you mean by "love" in that simple unrhymed piece. In the end, a good poem doesn't look like poetry at all. It will be beauty in poetry's mask..

    And you're right, the OP's poem is somehow made to force some rhymes. So in the end, truth doesn't come out, and honesty is lost. As you said, it must come smoothly and naturally, and unrestricted to rhymes. That is indeed true..

Similar Threads

  1. Emotional position of Shakespeare on love
    By Whenangels_fall in forum Shakespeare, William
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 08-31-2009, 11:27 AM
  2. Love and Relationships # 1
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07-17-2009, 08:16 AM
  3. Love
    By PerAnnum in forum Religious Texts
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 05-12-2008, 11:54 AM
  4. The Story of Love
    By mazHur in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-30-2007, 06:35 AM
  5. Only Women can LOVE truly?
    By Lote-Tree in forum General Chat
    Replies: 67
    Last Post: 10-08-2007, 12:25 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •