*Starrwriter sticks fork in eye*Originally Posted by Nightshade
*Starrwriter sticks fork in eye*
Ooh, ooh, I've got one. What's Hawaiian, crabby, and has a fork in its eye?
A Hawaiian steamed crab with pineapple garnish. Boy, I crack myself up...
Por una cabeza
Si ella me olvida
Qué importa perderme
Mil veces la vida
Para qué vivir
Much better, RobinHood. If you keep working at it, you might crack up someone else eventually.
Really, you think so? Gee willikers, that's awfully swell of ya to say so!!
What do you call a Stormtrooper with a hearing problem?
A Deaf Star!
Por una cabeza
Si ella me olvida
Qué importa perderme
Mil veces la vida
Para qué vivir
there were two foreign policemen patrolling and getting bored so one of them suggests they talk English to each other and they agree. after a while...
1st P: hey boy you how much watch?
2nd P: *looks at his watch* six watch.
1st P: huh? such much watch?
Last edited by Kaltrina; 12-12-2005 at 05:20 AM.
You dont get it do you? *sigh* I did say I cant tell jokes earlier Im just defending the thread so in that spirit...
Q what did the policeman say to his tummy
A You're under awest
My mission in life is to make YOU smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The time has come," the Walrus said,"To talk of many things:
Forum Rules- You know you want to read 'em
|Litnet Challange status = 5/260
|currently reading
There are three types of mathematicians: those who can count to three and those who can't.
If you believe even a half of this post, you are severely mistaken.
Back to square one. And I bought a hearing aid last year, you young whipper-snapper.
I know this one a bit different!
There are 10 types of people. Those who know binary and those who don't.
I have a plan: attack!
I got these from the christmas crackers at the resteraunt last night
Did you hear about the cowboy who wore paper trousers?
He was arreated for rustling
what's a hedgehogs favourite food?
Prickled onions
My mission in life is to make YOU smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The time has come," the Walrus said,"To talk of many things:
Forum Rules- You know you want to read 'em
|Litnet Challange status = 5/260
|currently reading
Where do hedgehogs go for fast food?
Sonic!!
Where do plumbers go for Italian?
Mario's!!
Where do Hyrulians go for sausage?
Link's!!
Por una cabeza
Si ella me olvida
Qué importa perderme
Mil veces la vida
Para qué vivir
Why are there always patrolling four policemen in one car?
the first one knows how to drive, the second one know the traffic signs, the third one knows about traffic lights, and the fourth one loves hanging around with intelegent people.
Last edited by Kaltrina; 12-13-2005 at 08:56 AM.
Braggadocio
Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons.
"My son," the first one says, "started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his choice!"
"My son," said the second, "started out serving lunch in a real estate office, but now owns the real estate office and just gave one of his friends a new mansion!"
"My son," said the third, "started out sweeping the floors at the Stock Exchange, but now practically owns the Stock Exchange and just gave one of his friends a $1,000,000 in stock."
"Well," the fourth guy said, "my son's turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. He's a gay hairdresser and he has SEVERAL boyfriends. On the plus side, between them, they gave him four cars, a mansion, and a million dollars in stock for his birthday."
And the gates of this Chapel were shut,
And Thou shalt not, writ over the door:
So I turned to the Garden of Love,
That so many sweet flowers bore. - "The Garden of Love", William Blake.
Reporting
When the media does it, it's called "news coverage." When an individual does it, it's called "stalking."
And the gates of this Chapel were shut,
And Thou shalt not, writ over the door:
So I turned to the Garden of Love,
That so many sweet flowers bore. - "The Garden of Love", William Blake.
intelligent quotes....got these from a joke site
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff," -- Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version," -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al Gore, VP
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
“If we let the loggers go in and cut down all the trees we wouldn’t have a problem with forest fires.” – George Bush
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
And the gates of this Chapel were shut,
And Thou shalt not, writ over the door:
So I turned to the Garden of Love,
That so many sweet flowers bore. - "The Garden of Love", William Blake.
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