"Parodies Found" Your spoofs of well-known classics

[kittyluvr73]

Of "Fire and Ice"
Some say the world's end comes
when the sun expands and swallows up the earth
in about five hundred thousand years.
But some say global warming
will destroy us before that time,
an ice age to end our civilization.
I'd rather be burned,
at least the women
would not wear many clothes.
But freezing to death,
every man for himself,
could be an adventure.
That also would be a good end.

Of "The Road Not Taken"
I was walking down this path
(for some reason without a destination)
and came to a fork.
As I am debilitatingly indecisive,
I stood for ages at the parting
weighing the perceived merits of each option.
Finally I took one
(based on an arbitrary superiority)
thinking I'd go back and explore.
But you know how those things go,
I never returned to that place.
But my decision then will plague me
for years to come, so
I choose to believe that choice I made
changed my life.

[RaoulDuke]

An 'omage to Hogden Nash

A gentleman is struck with pain upon finishing his repast;
He hoped that it would go away but it seemed determined to last.
I hear you ask, you impatient young snip:
What pray is the cause of this jip?
A fiddle with the tongue discerns it;
Nay, the fiddle has outright confirmed it.
It appears it's grizzly, grisly bacon rashers
Wedged atwixt his Ogden Nashers.

[kilted exile]

To bbq, or not to bbq: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The microwaveable dinners of outrageous fortune,
Or to take propane against a sea of meat,
And by opposing end them? To eat: to drink;
Still more; and by a burger to say we end
The heart-burn and the thousand mozzie bites
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consumnation

[AuntShecky]

The title of this thread says "spoofs of well-known classics,"but I'm not really sure if the original song which inspired the following parody is all that "well-known." It certainly should be, though, for in the 71 years since it was first composed, the catchy song has become a jazz standard among the repertoires of many jazz musicians.

Adopting an ironic stance, "Will You Still Be Mine" is in a vein similar to that of "I Wish I Were in Love Again," by Rodgers and of course, Hart, as the latter-day lyricist Hammerstein was more attuned to sweet sentiment. After a more or less conventional, albeit wry, beginning, the lyrics segue into topical humor. The jokes from FDR's administration --or as in Matt Dennis's recording from the Fifties--have cobwebs on them. That's the trouble with topical humor-- it has a very short shelf-life; hence, the attempted "update."

In any event, here we go:

Will I Catch a Break?

[To the tune of “Will You Still Be Mine?” by Matt Dennis and Tom Adair]


When forecasts say that they don't know
if we'll get heat waves or more snow;
when real life’s not a TV show–
will I catch a break?

When Yankee boasts screech to a stop,
and Chicago’s Cubs end up on top;
when fat cats’ salaries finally drop–
will I catch a break?

When cell phone use is just to talk directly,
and every blogger’s blog is spelled correctly.

When airports speed you through the gate,
without one flight arriving late;
when Walmart shoppers lose some weight –
will I catch a break?

When jobs come back from overseas
and banks won't charge those sneaky fees;
when money really grows on trees –
will I catch a break?

[YesNo]

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men
had breakfast that morning.

[MystyrMystyry]

Roll, Roll, Roll your smokes.
Deftly from a tin.
Log Cabin, Special London, Port Royal,
This is everythin'

[YesNo]

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her,
And unfortunately for the spider she ate it, too.

[AuntShecky]

Wow.
This particular thread has been dormant for a full year.
Wonder why there are 3 new posts so quickly. . .

[YesNo]

Wow.
This particular thread has been dormant for a full year.
Wonder why there are 3 new posts so quickly. . .

After you posted your fine parody on "Will You Still Be Mine", I think the thread woke up.

[YesNo]

Since the thread might have died down again, here's another one:

Owl and Pussycat Wars

There's no beauty in blame. The complaints are the same.
He will call her some names I won't say.
With disgust in her eyes, you can hear her heat rise.
How they wish they weren't married that day.
Once in love, now in hate, with each other as fate,
They must live. Death is not coming soon.
So with fist raised to fist, no one knows why they're pissed,
But they fight by the light of the moon,

The moon,
The moon.

They fight by the light of the moon.

[Bar22do]

The title of this thread says "spoofs of well-known classics,"but I'm not really sure if the original song which inspired the following parody is all that "well-known." It certainly should be, though, for in the 71 years since it was first composed, the catchy song has become a jazz standard among the repertoires of many jazz musicians.

Adopting an ironic stance, "Will You Still Be Mine" is in a vein similar to that of "I Wish I Were in Love Again," by Rodgers and of course, Hart, as the latter-day lyricist Hammerstein was more attuned to sweet sentiment. After a more or less conventional, albeit wry, beginning, the lyrics segue into topical humor. The jokes from FDR's administration --or as in Matt Dennis's recording from the Fifties--have cobwebs on them. That's the trouble with topical humor-- it has a very short shelf-life; hence, the attempted "update."

In any event, here we go:

Will I Catch a Break?

[To the tune of “Will You Still Be Mine?” by Matt Dennis and Tom Adair]


When forecasts say that they don't know
if we'll get heat waves or more snow;
when real life’s not a TV show–
will I catch a break?

When Yankee boasts screech to a stop,
and Chicago’s Cubs end up on top;
when fat cats’ salaries finally drop–
will I catch a break?

When cell phone use is just to talk directly,
and every blogger’s blog is spelled correctly.

When airports speed you through the gate,
without one flight arriving late;
when Walmart shoppers lose some weight –
will I catch a break?

When jobs come back from overseas
and banks won't charge those sneaky fees;
when money really grows on trees –
will I catch a break?

I don't know if you can ever catch a break, Auntie, for it doesn't really look Walmart shoppers will lose weight in the near future!... so for the time being, humour will keep you going, I hope! it does me! Best regards, Bar

[Hawkman]

Allergy in a Country Churchyard

The itch I have to scratch is back again
It pricks my eyes, which run, as does my nose.
So marked by ghastly aspect as this shows,
that gen'rally, I’m treated with disdain.

A rash has bloomed upon my legs and hands,
my cheek’s unwonted pallor shows my strain
and in this heat I sweat, which is a pain,
I’d rather be where yonder pylon stands.

There, on the hill I long to reach, wind blows,
but here, within this churchyard, it is still,
whilst I, through all this overgrowth must till
amid the biting bugs and blossom snows.

This hole I dig might very well be mine,
I need to get away and breathe some air,
though someone rightly thinks of it as theirs,
we’ll share, if I can’t finish it on time.

The pollen from the grasses floats in clouds,
the insects bite and sting the flesh at will.
Invisible to sight they claim their kill;
allergic shock thus veils me in its shroud.

[cacian]

little boy blue- what was really meant-

Little Boy cute,
Come blow your horn,
The sheep's in the meadow,
The cow's in the corn;
Where is that girl
Who lives by the meadows?
Under the pine tree
playing the flute.
Will you tell her?
share all with your banter
Oh yes , yes I,
For when I do
she will sing me a tune

[AuntShecky]

Two nice offerings to revive an old thread. I hear a rustling noise, though, Hawk--it must be Thomas Gray turning in his churchyard!

[Hawkman]

LOL, thanks Auntie, and I'm sure you're right! Positively spinning I should say...

live and be well - H