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Thread: "Parodies Found" Your spoofs of well-known classics

  1. #1
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    "Parodies Found" Your spoofs of well-known classics

    Here begins a new thread called "Parodies Found." Write a spoof or parody of a well-known classic poem or popular song. Here's a couple to start the ball rolling:

    The Horny Dude to His Squeeze

    Hook up with me and be my squeeze.
    We could sit around my crib and shoot the breeze.
    We'll hang out and pop a cold six-pack
    And order in deli for a tasty snack
    (Not with cheap mustard but Grey Poupon.)
    I'll even change the sheets on my futon.
    And if some good **** would come our way–
    We'll be so high we won't care if it’s April or May.
    Really smokin’, in more ways than one!
    Just a one-nighter, but we'll both have fun.
    Dudes don't do commitment, and we don't say “please,”
    But hook up with me and be my squeeze.


    The Squeeze’s Reply to the Dude

    Yo, Dude, if your text message was for real,
    If you really said what you truly feel,
    And you're not some Internet predator sleaze,
    Maybe I'll hook up with you and be your squeeze.
    Lose the brewski, spring for a bottle o’ wine
    After you book us a table at a fine place to dine.
    A “friend with privileges” you think you would rate?
    Think again, Bro -- I don't put out on the first date.
    Play your cards right you might get a couple o’ hugs.
    BTW, I don't get high and I say no to drugs.
    Swear that with other shorties you won't flirt or tease,
    Then I might hook up with you and be your squeeze.


    Aunt Shecky
    All rights reserved.

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    After "The Eagle" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

    After Tennyson’s “The Eagle”

    It idles on the tarmac, with idle ground crew hands
    Close to the runway where some other plane lands
    And while another takes off, it stands and it stands.

    We’d cross the sea faster with creeps and crawls.
    So bored we all are, we could climb the cramped walls.
    And like a dry leaf, each travel plan falls.

    Aunt Shecky
    All rights reserved.

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    Parodic fragments

    Parodic fragments

    after Robinson Jeffers:
    this is the slippery
    banana peel of the world, and what it waits for
    is not our poise.


    after T. S. Eliot:
    Up and down
    The women go
    Mooning over
    Leonardo DiCaprio.


    Aunt Shecky
    All rights reserved.

  4. #4
    Registered User Granny5's Avatar
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    These are great fun! I especially love The Horney Dude to his Squeeze.
    Avatar by Pendragon
    "All we are saying is give PEACE a chance." Beatles[/SIZE]
    Granny5's Blog
    http://www.online-literature.com/for...p?userid=35805

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    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    My First one, and I got lucky!

    Parody: Raven #1

    I haven often seen that raven with his crest all shorn and shaven,
    Brassy-bold and all so brave and sitting on the bust above my door.
    I have heard that ghastly croak as the fire I quietly stoked,
    As The Night’s enfolding cloak sheltered me from a day so sore:
    As the enfolding cloak of Night sheltered me from a day so sore—
    Where the bird said: “Nevermore!”

    Just one thing, though, that I wonder; on one thing my soul doth ponder;
    Each time I see him sitting yonder on the plaster bust above my door.
    One thing I must confess, that my soul is left to guess,
    Each time I hear the bird express “Nevermore!” above my door:
    Every time I hear The Raven croak “Nevermore!” above my door—
    And that is: Who the heck is Lenore?

    Dale Harris
    © 11/14/97
    Published in Mobious Magazine
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

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    Thank you, Granny, and Pendragon, I liked your spoof of "The Raven," but after what happened to the NY Mets this year I don't want to hear the n-word, "Nevermore."

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    Variation on a Theme by Thomas Gray

    - - - - -
    Variation on a Theme by Thomas Gray

    We know all about the paths of glory
    and where they lead –
    (beyond that point, less certain.)

    Yet those who embrace a different pursuit
    and humbly tread a diff’rent route
    have been running in the very same race
    and finish at the very same place.

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    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    O, Heartburn! My Heartburn!
    (Parody of O, Captain! My Captain!)

    O, heartburn, my heartburn, your fearful grip has seized—
    And anchored deep within my chest; it hurts me just to breathe.
    The time draws near, again I fear, the porcelain bowl awaits me—
    With watery eyes ‘cross the room I reel, yes, t’was fate Matey!
    Ow! Pain! Pain! Pain!
    Augh! This racking burning agony!
    Where the devil is that medicine cabinet?
    I need Pepto-Bismol to sooth me!

    O, heartburn, my heartburn, I feel each Jalapeno pepper—
    They go down so smooth then in the end they rise and make me suffer!
    With onion rings, and pickled things they return as for a haunting—
    There shall be no more rest for me tonight with wretched fire all flaunting!
    Here’s to you, old sport!
    Plop, plop, fizz, fizz,
    Would this were a nightmare because,
    It’s hell just like it is!

    The heartburn designs to answer me with bursts of even greater torture—
    Ravaging all my insides like a cow carcass given to some butcher!
    This vile agony maybe the very death of me, expiring from a flaming liver—
    I make a silent vow if I survive the night to watch the contents I deliver.
    The CD plays a favorite song
    But I with grim and mournful tread—
    Head for the John, the heartburn calls—
    Oh, sweet heaven! Makes me wish that I were dead!

    Dale Harris
    © 11/7/07
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  9. #9
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    Had we but oregano and thyme
    this blandness, lady, were no crime

  10. #10
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    Of Mere Feeling

    The balm at the end of the day,
    Beyond the last chore, covered
    In the bronze squeeze tube.

    The emollient lies,
    Ready to soothe as if knowing the meaning,
    Of this aching feeling within my bones.

    I know then it is the reason
    That makes me happy, not unhappy.
    The salve heals. I'm glad it's mine.

    The balm sits in my nightstand drawer.
    The scent is pleasing in the air.
    My on-fire soothing sinews simmer down.

  11. #11
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    aaaaaaaaaargh, this is my first attemt at parodie and I suppose it's kinda slapstickl...............




    COME live with me and be my Love,
    and I will jump thee in the grove
    beneath the tree-ish sycamore,
    but you might think I am a woman of negotiable affection.

    There will we sit upon the rocks
    and I will wash your smelly socks
    By shallow rivers, to whose falls
    the hydro-engineer boss calls
    his team.


    There will I make thee beds of roses
    complete with thorns and weevil bugs
    to cushion our desperate hugs
    No cap of baseball, and no turtle-
    neck can hide the fat under my girdle
    .

    A gown made of the finest wool
    Which from our pretty lambs we pull,
    And to the poor beasts' detriment
    we later into shreds will rend.


    A belt of straw and ivy buds
    with corals bleached by soapy suds:
    And if these pleasures make thee sneeze,
    you're really awful hard to please.

    Thy silver dishes for thy vittels
    even if you may prefer Skittles,
    Shall from an auction house I steal
    just to show you how I feel.

    The peasant louts shall howl and prance
    and we'll laugh our heads off at their dance:
    If these delights thy mind may boggle,
    Then live with me and let us snuggle.
    Last edited by SleepyWitch; 01-25-2008 at 06:38 AM.

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    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AuntShecky View Post
    Here begins a new thread called "Parodies Found." Write a spoof or parody of a well-known classic poem or popular song. Here's a couple to start the ball rolling:

    The Horny Dude to His Squeeze

    Hook up with me and be my squeeze.
    We could sit around my crib and shoot the breeze.
    We'll hang out and pop a cold six-pack
    And order in deli for a tasty snack
    (Not with cheap mustard but Grey Poupon.)
    I'll even change the sheets on my futon.
    And if some good **** would come our way–
    We'll be so high we won't care if it’s April or May.
    Really smokin’, in more ways than one!
    Just a one-nighter, but we'll both have fun.
    Dudes don't do commitment, and we don't say “please,”
    But hook up with me and be my squeeze.


    The Squeeze’s Reply to the Dude

    Yo, Dude, if your text message was for real,
    If you really said what you truly feel,
    And you're not some Internet predator sleaze,
    Maybe I'll hook up with you and be your squeeze.
    Lose the brewski, spring for a bottle o’ wine
    After you book us a table at a fine place to dine.
    A “friend with privileges” you think you would rate?
    Think again, Bro -- I don't put out on the first date.
    Play your cards right you might get a couple o’ hugs.
    BTW, I don't get high and I say no to drugs.
    Swear that with other shorties you won't flirt or tease,
    Then I might hook up with you and be your squeeze.


    Aunt Shecky
    All rights reserved.
    hahahah, great minds think alike I didn't read your original post

  13. #13
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Re Dylan Thomas' "Lament":

    When I was a long-winded boy with a voice
    Like the butt-end of an old oak tree
    I rambled among the randy syllables
    And knock-kneed knickers
    Of the good-for-guffing girls
    On Gillfeather Street
    Among the struts and stumbles
    Of the proud as peacock peonies.
    I cared not a farthing
    To make sense but just strung
    A lot of la-dee-dah lacy-pants together
    And roam and rollicked
    Till the cud-licking cows came home!
    A bloody bit of alliteration
    And some assonance would
    Do it up quite nice!

  14. #14
    Flying against the wind CdnReader's Avatar
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    ^^^ Hahaha. This is great, PM.
    *

    "Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear." -- Ambrose Redmoon

    CR: Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert
    JF: Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. My review is here.

  15. #15
    now then ;)
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    A reworking of "To a mouse" which I wrote about 2 years ago now after seeing a story in the NEWS thread about a mouse that ended up burning down a man's home.


    To A Man, on the occassion of burning down his house in January 2006.

    Big, stompin', greetin', murd'rous beastie
    Oh whit panic's in thy breastie
    Ah laf tae see ye sat there cursin'
    wi' tears a rollin
    It is me that cud dae wi nursin'
    Flames put oot

    Twas yer ain belief in Mans dominion
    That broke natures solemn union
    An justifies ma glorius revenge
    that makes yer heart twinge
    At the loss o' yer ain dear hoose
    Instead o jist a stupid moose

    I dinna doubt yer wife wis feart o' me
    Sae whit? she saw naw hide nor hair o me
    Some respite frae the world, a fair request
    Instead thrown to a bonfire nest
    An never miss'd

    Thy huge big house, is noo in ruins
    Its whitewashed wa's the fires strewin'
    An no time now tae build a new yin
    of stone n clay
    An swift approaches noo yer wifie
    Wi her bitin tongue

    Thou saw me scurryin quickly past
    wi wifie comin up the gairden path
    An' straight intae the burnin' leaves
    Ye thought tae throw me
    Till straight back tae the hoose ah ran
    Wi flames a lickin'

    That wee pile o brick an' mortar
    cost thee mauny a weel earnt nickel
    Noo its gaun fir aw' yer trooble
    Nae hoose or hame
    Tae shield ye fae yer wife
    Or mither in law

    But Man thou art no thy-lane
    In proving foresight may be vain
    The best laid schemes of men an' mice
    Aft gang agley
    An leave us naught but grief an' pain
    For promised joy

    But yer still good, dinnae ye see?
    house rebuilt by the insurance company
    But och, I feel the flames still burn
    Aroun' ma back
    Burnin doon yer hoose wis a jist return
    I laugh an' cheer
    There once was a scotsman named Drew
    Who put too much wine in his stew
    He felt a bit drunk
    And fell off his bunk
    And landed smack into his shoe
    ~(C) Ms Niamh Anne King

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