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Thread: write a really bad poem

  1. #31
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyWitch View Post
    by the way, what do you think of my Ode to Spock? doesn't it deserve 10 out of 10 points for tacky rhymes?
    Yup.

    Spock
    Rocked


    Quote Originally Posted by AimusSage
    Bah, all of you are doing quite poorly in terms of bad poetry
    Ha, you're one to talk.



    The innocence of a child
    move our hearts in ways beyond our ken,
    the guilelessness of the little infant's ways
    the brightness of the infant's eyes
    Oh, child, how you send light out into the world
    without even knowing what you do!
    Whether reacting to a puppet
    or enjoying the sweet flesh of a fruit,
    your radiant smile is a divine joy
    for all to behold!

  2. #32
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    The Eggs Over

    I picked this morning morning's onion, round
    Bulb of halitosis, growing-great-green stalked white
    And blooming
    From the rich and fertile all around it sandy loam, and looming
    Tall there, how it will upon my eyes wreak holy hell
    When I peel it! and tears will blur my sight,
    As when hearts break for love hard won then lost: the pain and
    Glooming
    Shadow the dear cost. My eggs then waiting,
    Tasty the fare, the omelet, the folding of the chopped root.

    Fluff, shinning and butter, oh parsley, cilantro, fragrant mist, here
    Savor! and the praise that breaks from deep within to utter, mmmm,
    and so lovelier that cereal, but ah! cholesterol.

    No matter for it, oatmeal makes breakfast boring;
    Fill me golden orbs of death, cook it, Dora,
    Lay me down satisfied, and eternally snoring.

  3. #33
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by firefangled View Post
    I picked this morning morning's onion, round
    Bulb of halitosis, growing-great-green stalked white
    And blooming
    From the rich and fertile all around it sandy loam, and looming
    Tall there, how it will upon my eyes wreak holy hell
    When I peel it! and tears will blur my sight,
    As when hearts break for love hard won then lost: the pain and
    Glooming
    Shadow the dear cost. My eggs then waiting,
    Tasty the fare, the omelet, the folding of the chopped root.

    Fluff, shinning and butter, oh parsley, cilantro, fragrant mist, here
    Savor! and the praise that breaks from deep within to utter, mmmm,
    and so lovelier that cereal, but ah! cholesterol.

    No matter for it, oatmeal makes breakfast boring;
    Fill me golden orbs of death, cook it, Dora,
    Lay me down satisfied, and eternally snoring.
    Yup, it's bad all right - almost as bad as Gerard Manley Hopkins!

  4. #34
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin View Post
    Yup, it's bad all right - almost as bad as Gerard Manley Hopkins!
    That would be Mr. Hopkins's or Hopkins'...I always am confused on that one.

    I thought if I went in the direction of spinging, sprunging rhythm, I would do all right in this category. Next I'll try OJ Randall, who didst fettle with the great gray Vegas dude for his bright and battering scandal.

  5. #35
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by firefangled View Post
    That would be Mr. Hopkins's or Hopkins'...I always am confused on that one.
    Would you believe, that very question is next on my list after "Why do the wicked prosper?"

  6. #36
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by firefangled View Post
    I picked this morning morning's onion, round
    Bulb of halitosis, growing-great-green stalked white
    And blooming
    From the rich and fertile all around it sandy loam, and looming
    Tall there, how it will upon my eyes wreak holy hell
    When I peel it! and tears will blur my sight,
    As when hearts break for love hard won then lost: the pain and
    Glooming
    Shadow the dear cost. My eggs then waiting,
    Tasty the fare, the omelet, the folding of the chopped root.

    Fluff, shinning and butter, oh parsley, cilantro, fragrant mist, here
    Savor! and the praise that breaks from deep within to utter, mmmm,
    and so lovelier that cereal, but ah! cholesterol.

    No matter for it, oatmeal makes breakfast boring;
    Fill me golden orbs of death, cook it, Dora,
    Lay me down satisfied, and eternally snoring.
    you've made my day!

    this is the funniest thread ever!

    edit: another breathtaking epic:

    Row, sailor, towards the distant shore,
    the holy core of Christendom.
    The fury waves lap at your face,
    you'll surely sink without a trace,
    and choking on the salty brine,
    for your homeland you will pine,
    unless God's steady hand
    puts you safely on firm land.
    In many a battle thou didst quench
    the lecherous Musilman and
    slay the gory Hun.
    Row, sailor, flee the setting sun!
    Bend her creaking bow towards the lee,
    where Albion's sacred cliffs you see!
    Last edited by SleepyWitch; 09-21-2007 at 05:34 AM.

  7. #37
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyWitch View Post
    edit: another breathtaking epic:

    Row, sailor, towards the distant shore,
    the holy core of Christendom.
    The fury waves lap at your face,
    you'll surely sink without a trace,
    and choking on the salty brine,
    for your homeland you will pine,
    unless God's steady hand
    puts you safely on firm land.
    In many a battle thou didst quench
    the lecherous Musilman and
    slay the gory Hun.
    Row, sailor, flee the setting sun!
    Bend her creaking bow towards the lee,
    where Albion's sacred cliffs you see!
    Shockingly bad! Well done!

  8. #38
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    here's one more:

    one night-defying summer day
    we did frolic, kiss and play
    in a barn-loft full of hay
    red as Swedish oxen-blood
    on the prairie the barn stood,
    smelling faintly of old musk
    on the prairie, fell and dusk.
    But then came war
    with blood and gore.
    War came from an island far away
    and called my hero to the fray.
    And my lusty boisterous stud
    was nipped in his youthful bud.
    Oh grief and woe,
    who mourns for Bill,
    now I've got Joe?
    Last edited by SleepyWitch; 07-27-2008 at 08:25 AM.

  9. #39
    Resonance/Beauty. Mesalithasamut's Avatar
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    Threads like this one discourage amateur poets from writing poetry in the first place. When people come together in an effort to write horrible poetry as a mockery, I'm assuming, of those who do not know how to write well, and use poetry as a simple means to translate their feelings into words, that's simply careless.
    Honor and shame from no condition rise, act well your part there all the honor lies. - Alexander Pope.

  10. #40
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    aw, come on, loosen up Mesalith, it's great fun! plus it set free some creative engergies and lead to all of us writing good poems along with the bad ones.
    I can assure you everyone here is extremely supportive of amateur poets (we're most of us amateurs ourselves!)

  11. #41
    Resonance/Beauty. Mesalithasamut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyWitch View Post
    aw, come on, loosen up Mesalith, it's great fun! plus it set free some creative engergies and lead to all of us writing good poems along with the bad ones.
    I can assure you everyone here is extremely supportive of amateur poets (we're most of us amateurs ourselves!)
    I'm an amateur, and I didn't feel greatly discouraged, but it seems to me that a person who is younger could intrepret this as a mockery, and find it very discouraging: Mainly because the poetry they write is similar to the bad poetry you are writing. I say this because, as I assume most of you know, a lot of very young people visit this site. Sorry for being a kill-joy.
    Honor and shame from no condition rise, act well your part there all the honor lies. - Alexander Pope.

  12. #42
    Ruadh gu brath ampoule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mesalithasamut View Post
    I'm an amateur, and I didn't feel greatly discouraged, but it seems to me that a person who is younger could intrepret this as a mockery, and find it very discouraging: Mainly because the poetry they write is similar to the bad poetry you are writing. I say this because, as I assume most of you know, a lot of very young people visit this site. Sorry for being a kill-joy.
    You are not a kill-joy but someone wonderfully sensitive. Sleepy is correct though. Many of the poems entered as 'bad' were thought to be good by others. Don't give up, ever.
    Today though, I have almost posted several poems but everytime I read them over, to check for mistakes, I start laughing, reading them with Prince's eyes, remembering some of his funny but loving (I hope) comments.
    I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.

    "If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor

  13. #43
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    yeah, you're right, ampoule, Mesalith is very sensitive.

    anyway, I'm thinking of sending "Ode to Spock" to Leonard Nimoy (the Spock actor) for his amusement (explaining it was intended to be really bad). probably he doesn't read his fanmail himself anyway. do you think it's worth a try, anyway?

  14. #44
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mesalithasamut View Post
    Threads like this one discourage amateur poets from writing poetry in the first place. When people come together in an effort to write horrible poetry as a mockery, I'm assuming, of those who do not know how to write well, and use poetry as a simple means to translate their feelings into words, that's simply careless.
    You have a point, Mesalithasamut and I did think about it before I created the thread. Not saying I entirely satisfied myself that the risk you suggest was non-existent, just that the potential benefits seemed to me to outweigh the harm. Primary among these, as Sleepy suggests, is it's very freeing for poets of every ability to try to write badly. I'd hazard there's a bad poet inside most of us and keeping it contained can be an effort. And as Blake said, 'If the fool would persist in his folly, he would become wise.'

    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyWitch View Post
    yeah, you're right, ampoule, Mesalith is very sensitive.

    anyway, I'm thinking of sending "Ode to Spock" to Leonard Nimoy (the Spock actor) for his amusement (explaining it was intended to be really bad). probably he doesn't read his fanmail himself anyway. do you think it's worth a try, anyway?
    Yeah, do it.

  15. #45
    Ruadh gu brath ampoule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyWitch View Post
    yeah, you're right, ampoule, Mesalith is very sensitive.

    anyway, I'm thinking of sending "Ode to Spock" to Leonard Nimoy (the Spock actor) for his amusement (explaining it was intended to be really bad). probably he doesn't read his fanmail himself anyway. do you think it's worth a try, anyway?
    But mind you, I said 'wonderfully sensitive', so it's a good thing.

    Mr. Nimoy may be very touched by your poem. He, in fact, has written poetry. In 2002, A Lifetime of Love: Poems on the Passage of Life was published. Go for it!
    I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.

    "If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor

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