write a really bad poem

[blp]

by the way, what do you think of my Ode to Spock? doesn't it deserve 10 out of 10 points for tacky rhymes?

Yup.

Spock
Rocked

Bah, all of you are doing quite poorly in terms of bad poetry

Ha, you're one to talk.



The innocence of a child
move our hearts in ways beyond our ken,
the guilelessness of the little infant's ways
the brightness of the infant's eyes
Oh, child, how you send light out into the world
without even knowing what you do!
Whether reacting to a puppet
or enjoying the sweet flesh of a fruit,
your radiant smile is a divine joy
for all to behold!

[firefangled]

I picked this morning morning's onion, round
Bulb of halitosis, growing-great-green stalked white
And blooming
From the rich and fertile all around it sandy loam, and looming
Tall there, how it will upon my eyes wreak holy hell
When I peel it! and tears will blur my sight,
As when hearts break for love hard won then lost: the pain and
Glooming
Shadow the dear cost. My eggs then waiting,
Tasty the fare, — the omelet, the folding of the chopped root.

Fluff, shinning and butter, oh parsley, cilantro, fragrant mist, here
Savor! and the praise that breaks from deep within to utter, mmmm,
and so lovelier that cereal, but ah! cholesterol.

No matter for it, oatmeal makes breakfast boring;
Fill me golden orbs of death, cook it, Dora,
Lay me down satisfied, and eternally snoring.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I picked this morning morning's onion, round
Bulb of halitosis, growing-great-green stalked white
And blooming
From the rich and fertile all around it sandy loam, and looming
Tall there, how it will upon my eyes wreak holy hell
When I peel it! and tears will blur my sight,
As when hearts break for love hard won then lost: the pain and
Glooming
Shadow the dear cost. My eggs then waiting,
Tasty the fare, — the omelet, the folding of the chopped root.

Fluff, shinning and butter, oh parsley, cilantro, fragrant mist, here
Savor! and the praise that breaks from deep within to utter, mmmm,
and so lovelier that cereal, but ah! cholesterol.

No matter for it, oatmeal makes breakfast boring;
Fill me golden orbs of death, cook it, Dora,
Lay me down satisfied, and eternally snoring.

Yup, it's bad all right - almost as bad as Gerard Manley Hopkins!

[firefangled]

Yup, it's bad all right - almost as bad as Gerard Manley Hopkins!

That would be Mr. Hopkins's or Hopkins'...I always am confused on that one.

I thought if I went in the direction of spinging, sprunging rhythm, I would do all right in this category. Next I'll try OJ Randall, who didst fettle with the great gray Vegas dude for his bright and battering scandal.

[PrinceMyshkin]

That would be Mr. Hopkins's or Hopkins'...I always am confused on that one.

Would you believe, that very question is next on my list after "Why do the wicked prosper?"

[SleepyWitch]

I picked this morning morning's onion, round
Bulb of halitosis, growing-great-green stalked white
And blooming
From the rich and fertile all around it sandy loam, and looming
Tall there, how it will upon my eyes wreak holy hell
When I peel it! and tears will blur my sight,
As when hearts break for love hard won then lost: the pain and
Glooming
Shadow the dear cost. My eggs then waiting,
Tasty the fare, — the omelet, the folding of the chopped root.

Fluff, shinning and butter, oh parsley, cilantro, fragrant mist, here
Savor! and the praise that breaks from deep within to utter, mmmm,
and so lovelier that cereal, but ah! cholesterol.

No matter for it, oatmeal makes breakfast boring;
Fill me golden orbs of death, cook it, Dora,
Lay me down satisfied, and eternally snoring.

you've made my day!

this is the funniest thread ever!

edit: another breathtaking epic:

Row, sailor, towards the distant shore,
the holy core of Christendom.
The fury waves lap at your face,
you'll surely sink without a trace,
and choking on the salty brine,
for your homeland you will pine,
unless God's steady hand
puts you safely on firm land.
In many a battle thou didst quench
the lecherous Musilman and
slay the gory Hun.
Row, sailor, flee the setting sun!
Bend her creaking bow towards the lee,
where Albion's sacred cliffs you see!

[blp]

edit: another breathtaking epic:

Row, sailor, towards the distant shore,
the holy core of Christendom.
The fury waves lap at your face,
you'll surely sink without a trace,
and choking on the salty brine,
for your homeland you will pine,
unless God's steady hand
puts you safely on firm land.
In many a battle thou didst quench
the lecherous Musilman and
slay the gory Hun.
Row, sailor, flee the setting sun!
Bend her creaking bow towards the lee,
where Albion's sacred cliffs you see!

Shockingly bad! Well done!

[SleepyWitch]

here's one more:

one night-defying summer day
we did frolic, kiss and play
in a barn-loft full of hay
red as Swedish oxen-blood
on the prairie the barn stood,
smelling faintly of old musk
on the prairie, fell and dusk.
But then came war
with blood and gore.
War came from an island far away
and called my hero to the fray.
And my lusty boisterous stud
was nipped in his youthful bud.
Oh grief and woe,
who mourns for Bill,
now I've got Joe?

[Mesalithasamut]

Threads like this one discourage amateur poets from writing poetry in the first place. When people come together in an effort to write horrible poetry as a mockery, I'm assuming, of those who do not know how to write well, and use poetry as a simple means to translate their feelings into words, that's simply careless.

[SleepyWitch]

aw, come on, loosen up Mesalith, it's great fun! plus it set free some creative engergies and lead to all of us writing good poems along with the bad ones.
I can assure you everyone here is extremely supportive of amateur poets (we're most of us amateurs ourselves!)

[Mesalithasamut]

aw, come on, loosen up Mesalith, it's great fun! plus it set free some creative engergies and lead to all of us writing good poems along with the bad ones.
I can assure you everyone here is extremely supportive of amateur poets (we're most of us amateurs ourselves!)

I'm an amateur, and I didn't feel greatly discouraged, but it seems to me that a person who is younger could intrepret this as a mockery, and find it very discouraging: Mainly because the poetry they write is similar to the bad poetry you are writing. I say this because, as I assume most of you know, a lot of very young people visit this site. Sorry for being a kill-joy.

[ampoule]

I'm an amateur, and I didn't feel greatly discouraged, but it seems to me that a person who is younger could intrepret this as a mockery, and find it very discouraging: Mainly because the poetry they write is similar to the bad poetry you are writing. I say this because, as I assume most of you know, a lot of very young people visit this site. Sorry for being a kill-joy.

You are not a kill-joy but someone wonderfully sensitive. Sleepy is correct though. Many of the poems entered as 'bad' were thought to be good by others. Don't give up, ever.
Today though, I have almost posted several poems but everytime I read them over, to check for mistakes, I start laughing, reading them with Prince's eyes, remembering some of his funny but loving (I hope) comments.

[SleepyWitch]

yeah, you're right, ampoule, Mesalith is very sensitive.

anyway, I'm thinking of sending "Ode to Spock" to Leonard Nimoy (the Spock actor) for his amusement (explaining it was intended to be really bad). probably he doesn't read his fanmail himself anyway. do you think it's worth a try, anyway?

[blp]

Threads like this one discourage amateur poets from writing poetry in the first place. When people come together in an effort to write horrible poetry as a mockery, I'm assuming, of those who do not know how to write well, and use poetry as a simple means to translate their feelings into words, that's simply careless.

You have a point, Mesalithasamut and I did think about it before I created the thread. Not saying I entirely satisfied myself that the risk you suggest was non-existent, just that the potential benefits seemed to me to outweigh the harm. Primary among these, as Sleepy suggests, is it's very freeing for poets of every ability to try to write badly. I'd hazard there's a bad poet inside most of us and keeping it contained can be an effort. And as Blake said, 'If the fool would persist in his folly, he would become wise.'

yeah, you're right, ampoule, Mesalith is very sensitive.

anyway, I'm thinking of sending "Ode to Spock" to Leonard Nimoy (the Spock actor) for his amusement (explaining it was intended to be really bad). probably he doesn't read his fanmail himself anyway. do you think it's worth a try, anyway?

Yeah, do it.

[ampoule]

yeah, you're right, ampoule, Mesalith is very sensitive.

anyway, I'm thinking of sending "Ode to Spock" to Leonard Nimoy (the Spock actor) for his amusement (explaining it was intended to be really bad). probably he doesn't read his fanmail himself anyway. do you think it's worth a try, anyway?

But mind you, I said 'wonderfully sensitive', so it's a good thing.

Mr. Nimoy may be very touched by your poem. He, in fact, has written poetry. In 2002, A Lifetime of Love: Poems on the Passage of Life was published. Go for it!