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Thread: Memories of Martin Creek

  1. #1
    Diary of a Troutbum Poppy's Avatar
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    Memories of Martin Creek

    Memories of Martin Creek

    We would access it at
    the highway bridge. Pull
    the truck over and strip to
    shorts to wade it wet.
    The cool water held the naturals
    behind small boulders, undercuts
    and under the green lily pads.
    It was fly water at its best, a little
    foothills stream, not wide,
    not long, not crowded, just
    right to be one with the fish.
    Stealthily one had to be, moving
    slowly to the shadowed banks.
    Casting line to likely places made
    especially for sneaky pete’s.
    The stream so clear, you saw
    the prey, then the take. Happily
    we would try again and be
    rewarded with the same.

    I said memories,

    these are of old.
    Now the place is not like it was.
    Its silty, likely toxic, turbid, and
    trashy. I feel like the old Indian
    on the hill with the tear. See
    what man has done.
    "Some go to church and think about fishing, others go fishing and think about God." -Tony Blake

  2. #2
    Ruadh gu brath ampoule's Avatar
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    I never ever wanted to make that old Indian cry so I NEVER littered. Now I see people throw what could amount to small trash bags out their windows while driving. I wish I had a litter siren. I would get them.

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful memory.
    I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.

    "If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor

  3. #3
    solid motherhubbard's Avatar
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    Pop, I think that is your best one yet

  4. #4
    Flying against the wind CdnReader's Avatar
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    The turnabout between stanzas took me completely by surprise, Poppy. Very well done indeed.
    *

    "Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear." -- Ambrose Redmoon

    CR: Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert
    JF: Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. My review is here.

  5. #5
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    I feel like the old Indian
    on the hill with the tear. See
    what man has done.

    Powerful ending to a very nice poem. Definately NOT drivel, Poppy!

    Very large tract of this county cannot be used in my lifetime, and I don't know when it can be used again. It was a National EPA cleanup area, where the Olin Corp. in Saltville had its waste ponds and things. Mercury poisoning, among other things. Miles of river-front property and thousands of jobs lost when the company went down for refual to comply with government inspections. Sad, beautiful land, but as you say "See what man has done."

    Pen

    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  6. #6
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    I really love the first stanza:

    We would access it at
    the highway bridge. Pull
    the truck over and strip to
    shorts to wade it wet.
    The cool water held the naturals
    behind small boulders, undercuts
    and under the green lily pads.
    It was fly water at its best, a little
    foothills stream, not wide,
    not long, not crowded, just
    right to be one with the fish.
    Stealthily one had to be, moving
    slowly to the shadowed banks.
    Casting line to likely places made
    especially for sneaky pete’s.
    The stream so clear, you saw
    the prey, then the take. Happily
    we would try again and be
    rewarded with the same.
    Very intense and very tangible. Slight criticism here "to be one with the fish," a good line (don't get me wrong) but I see the phrasing "to be one" with lots of things so often that it's if not cliche certainly not original. I do especially love the sentence leading up to it:
    It was fly water at its best, a little
    foothills stream, not wide,
    not long, not crowded, just
    right to be one with the fish.
    Something about the rhythm of that sounds so good. If you can adjust the last bit about being "one" I think it would be excellent.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  7. #7
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virgil View Post
    I see the phrasing "to be one" with lots of things so often that it's if not cliche certainly not original.
    Before I get on to how deeply I love Poopy's poem (he's adopted that variation so I'll presume to use it unless he objects) but as a general rule I don't condemn cliches as much as some do. The measure for me is whether the poet presents it as if it were meant to carry the weight of something original, or she uses it as a comfy part of everyday speech. I'd love to write a poem one day in which I speak of it "raining cats and dogs..."

    Now, as for Poopy's latest: I relished the strong active verbs throughout and the provision of so many particulars, things one could not doubt that he had touched or seen or smelled.

    Bravo, Poopy, may you poop on forever!

  8. #8
    Diary of a Troutbum Poppy's Avatar
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    Thanks everybody for the nice words.

    Virgil, I had trouble with it too. I played around with that line and did find it so cliche that it almost kept me from posting it. While driving to the store a few ago, I thought that this might work


    It was fly water at its best, a little
    foothills stream, not wide,
    not long, not crowded, just
    right to be alone with the fish.

    Prince, your probably right that my intent was to use it as such, something that the neighbor next door might use or at least understand. Thank you for your insight.

    Poopy!

    Memories of Martin Creek

    We would access it at
    the highway bridge. Pull
    the truck over and strip to
    shorts to wade it wet.
    The cool water held the naturals
    behind small boulders, undercuts
    and under the green lily pads.
    It was fly water at its best, a little
    foothills stream, not wide,
    not long, not crowded, just
    right to be alone with the fish.
    Stealthily one had to be, moving
    slowly to the shadowed banks.
    Casting line to likely places made
    especially for sneaky pete’s.
    The stream so clear, you saw
    the prey, then the take. Happily
    we would try again and be
    rewarded with the same.

    I said memories,

    these are of old.
    Now the place is not like it was.
    Its silty, likely toxic, turbid, and
    trashy. I feel like the old Indian
    on the hill with the tear. See
    what man has done.
    "Some go to church and think about fishing, others go fishing and think about God." -Tony Blake

  9. #9
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    It was fly water at its best, a little
    foothills stream, not wide,
    not long, not crowded, just
    right to be alone with the fish.
    Yes, i like this better.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

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