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Thread: If This Is My Last Poem on LitNet...

  1. #1
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Exclamation If This Is My Last Poem on LitNet...

    Sorrow and Remembrance

    The joy of my writings
    May be tainted forever—
    This vast imagination,
    That usually serves me so well—

    I’ve painted my dreams
    Across paper canvases
    Words become images alive,
    Born of the union of paper and quill—

    Fate is so uncaring,
    A cold, bitter succubus
    Just when I think my words create heaven
    She turns it into a burning hell—

    Think I'll hang my harp
    Upon the nearest Witch Willow—
    How can I sing my songs,
    When in my heart I know what has befell?

    Oh, I long for the days,
    When freedom meant freedom—
    And we didn’t have to live under clouds of suspicion
    Before the twin towers fell—

    Pendragon
    © 8/4/07

    Last edited by Pendragon; 08-04-2007 at 03:48 PM.
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  2. #2
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    First of all I have to say, Pen, this isn't your last poem on Lit-net is it? I'd be very sad to see you go, as would many, many others.

    It's a good poem, the emotion is incredibly strong, almost painful. I especially like this part (though I think you mean 'create' in line 3 - lightening fingers!)

    Fate is so uncaring,
    A cold, bitter succubus
    Just when I think my words crate heaven
    She turns it into a burning hell—
    and this bit :
    Oh, I long for the days,
    When freedom meant freedom—
    The reference to the twin towers came a little out of the blue for me, but I get the impression that this is a very personal poem which expresses something close to your heart, so I wouldn't change it.

    Don't hang up your harp Pen.

  3. #3
    Love of Controversy rabid reader's Avatar
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    after writing something as beautiful as that I would hope not, its beautiful tragedy as out-lined as the art which you loved betrayed you somehow.

    such beauty in this stanaza:
    Fate is so uncaring,
    A cold, bitter succubus
    Just when I think my words crate heaven
    She turns it into a burning hell—
    My question can only be what had fate done that turned your gift into hell?
    Last edited by rabid reader; 08-04-2007 at 11:17 AM.
    A tragic situation exists precisely when virtue does not triumph but when it is still felt that man is nobler than the forces which destroy him.
    - Orwell

    Read of my Shepherd

  4. #4
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    None of us knows
    which will be the last poem
    he or she writes. But perhaps
    it will be the one before
    the first one we ever wrote?

  5. #5
    Flying against the wind CdnReader's Avatar
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    ((( Pen )))
    *

    "Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear." -- Ambrose Redmoon

    CR: Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert
    JF: Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. My review is here.

  6. #6
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by Bii View Post
    First of all I have to say, Pen, this isn't your last poem on Lit-net is it? I'd be very sad to see you go, as would many, many others.

    It's a good poem, the emotion is incredibly strong, almost painful. I especially like this part (though I think you mean 'create' in line 3 - lightening fingers!)



    and this bit :


    The reference to the twin towers came a little out of the blue for me, but I get the impression that this is a very personal poem which expresses something close to your heart, so I wouldn't change it.

    Don't hang up your harp Pen.
    oops! Yes my fingers never keep up with my brain. Thanks. We'll see about hanging up the harp. On the other hand, if this were your last poem on LitNet, what would you write?

    Focus that way for now, poets. Endulge me.

    Pen

    Quote Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin View Post
    None of us knows
    which will be the last poem
    he or she writes. But perhaps
    it will be the one before
    the first one we ever wrote?

    A good point and well-taken encouragement. Thanks, Jerry.
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  7. #7
    solid motherhubbard's Avatar
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    for pendragon

    It is a feeble attempt but…

    Loss of the resident troubadour


    Quiet falls with the hollow sound
    of one drop hitting the bucket.
    It is the scream of loneliness
    that forever changes the surface of the
    Earth, and home, and mind.
    A sound followed by the wrenching
    uncertainty of the universe.
    Each stands alone in its gravity.

    Where hope has flown no one can follow.
    The song is beyond reach.
    The earth still spins through the phases
    of the moon and the seasons
    and the years pass by into forever.
    But the void still stands.
    The future searches for what was lost,
    but how can they know what they missed?
    Last edited by motherhubbard; 08-04-2007 at 07:09 PM. Reason: spacing/ had to move a couple of words around

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    *deleted*
    Last edited by Bii; 08-13-2007 at 10:24 AM.

  9. #9
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Rough? Rough? Oh yes, like 600 count sheets made of the finest Egyptian cotton are rough! Like a parent's lullaby to a much beloved baby is rough!

    Get REAL! This is very, very beautiful! And if by the roughness you are alluding to the spontaneity of the flow, the line-breaks, they add immeasurably to the beauty of this.

    Thank you!

  10. #10
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
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    Pen i really hope that this is not your last poem, and that you do not leave us here on litnet. Dont give up Pen. Dont let yourself be consumed. You are a strong brave man. I believe in you.
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

  11. #11
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by Pendragon View Post
    Sorrow and Remembrance

    The joy of my writings
    May be tainted forever—
    This vast imagination,
    That usually serves me so well—

    I’ve painted my dreams
    Across paper canvases
    Words become images alive,
    Born of the union of paper and quill—

    Fate is so uncaring,
    A cold, bitter succubus
    Just when I think my words create heaven
    She turns it into a burning hell—

    Think I'll hang my harp
    Upon the nearest Witch Willow—
    How can I sing my songs,
    When in my heart I know what has befell?

    Oh, I long for the days,
    When freedom meant freedom—
    And we didn’t have to live under clouds of suspicion
    Before the twin towers fell—

    Pendragon
    © 8/4/07

    OK. I see by the PMs I have some explaining to do. My health has gone down in the last several months. Last week I had two major tests ran on my brain. It didn't help that a favoritve uncle was found to have an anurism, which is what my dad was having surgery for when he died on the operating table. I do not yet know the results. My head hurts all of the time, sometimes worse than others.

    A person like myself, who is bi-polar, has to learn to live with a certain amount of suspicion, fueled by Hollywood, which loves to make villains crazed people who are off their medication. There are twin halfs of the brain, I am normal right handed, but fairly ambidexterous, thus my twin towers fell.

    Also the world has never been the same since 9/11, the day the twin towers fell. Things are done without thinking of long term effect. Suspicion falls on everyone. My own mother was checked by security, when she set off the alarm at a local airport because her hair is very long and she pins it up. The hair-pins set of the alarm.

    If I have to leave, it will be over health issues, and I cannot see the future. I trust that they can find a way to fix what is wrong. Do I trust that God could do it? Certainly. But the technology is here for my use, and I avail myself of it. As any sane person should. God goes where man cannot, and until the time they say, "We can't help you.", I will pray and continue with the tests and medicine.

    But if it was my last poem, I wanted it to have meaning.

    God Bless everyone.

    Pen

    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  12. #12
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
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    i understand Pen. I'll be thinking of you. Hope you get through it all. I'm not religious but i'll say a pray for you.
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

  13. #13
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    God bless you Pen, and let us hope for the best. A nice poem by the way. I don't know if this was mentioned, but shuldn't "befell" be "befallen"? Not sure myself.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  14. #14
    in angulo cum libro Petrarch's Love's Avatar
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    Hang in there Pen, we're all praying for you, and just remember that David produced several psalms after he wrote about hanging up harps, so certainly our Pen can find a way to give us more gifts from his pen.

    "In rime sparse il suono/ di quei sospiri ond' io nudriva 'l core/ in sul mio primo giovenile errore"~ Francesco Petrarca
    "Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."~ Jane Austen

  15. #15
    Live. Be. Sing. symphony's Avatar
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    Pendragon,
    You have been one of my most favorite writers in this forum. Seeing you hang up your harp will be something very painful and there certainly will be a storm of sighs in here. We all are here praying for you with the best interests in our hearts.

    Lets hope for the best and, like Niamh and Petrarch has said, I too hope you dont give up and hold your "magic wand" as strongly as ever!

    Praying for your health
    Sy.
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

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