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Thread: The Dance

  1. #1
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    The Dance

    This isn't a piece of poetry...it's my first sorry attempt at a short story....so i would very much like your ideas and such. Thanks!

    A scene was set with twinkling lights that fathomed higher than we could see. Upon the shore was a house, set grimly into the lakeside. Its walls were of the placid sort, and it was dark, for few lights were on. But from deep within it, came a few sturdy notes from a melancholic instrument. The tones echoed into the night and only crickets sought its competition.

    Outside the placid building lay the lake, a glance would tell you that it was gruesomely dark. Around the lake was the wood, its dark majestic tree’s crept in upon the lake, and the water returned the gesture with a slight quiver. The breeze that had caused it to quiver danced onwards to the placid house, where the music was still playing its now sorrowful song, as a beautiful wail that caresses the world around it.

    From the trees a mist was rising, and it danced about and rose towards the sky where it silhouetted the crescent moon, that shone its pale light down upon the still waters below.

    Another breeze rippled the land, and swiftly it blew its way to the little balcony of the placid house, and here it pulled joyfully at a red dress.

    She stood there all alone, the wind playing with her curly hair. Inside the music continued playing and the many partygoers danced cheek to cheek.

    Stand outside on the balcony and let the wind toy with that red chiffon dress.

    Tears dropped…and seeped into the ground, the mist still rose from the trees now starting to enhance the lake in a glimmering crescendo. And the mist danced along the gorgeous water, and the moon danced in the lake.
    Last edited by SmilesAF; 05-21-2004 at 12:28 PM.

  2. #2
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    Great, it gives a very good description of the surrounding. As for the title "dance" I'm guessing as to how the trees are swaying in the wind, almost to the beat of the music.
    More problems, More poetry.

  3. #3
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    Thank you.
    Yeah, the dance refers to the trees and the mist, and in perticular to the last line:
    "and the moon danced in the lake" Have you ever seen still water that shimmers slightly, and the image of a moon get's distroted? that was sort of what i was aiming at. Apart from that, the girl in the red dress is standing on the balcony alone, and everyone else is inside dancing. She's alone, and doesn't have anyone to dance with.
    I don't know if that's making any sense...
    Thank you for reading it!

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