ďSensei, let me give you your soul back.Ē
My name is Marie Yamoto. I live in Tokyo with my mother and my new step father. My mum remarried 2 years ago after my step father traveling for business in Germany met her and fell in love with her. She was lonely and wanting a new beginning in life since the death of my real father. He died 10 years ago. I donít really remember him, just his hands. He had huge hands that would pick me up and spin me around in the air. My mother loved him very much. When he died, hit by a car, it nearly destroyed her but she kept going for my sake and we lived just the two of us.
Now, she is with Kyo. He gave me his surname saying that he wanted to make us a family. He loves my mother very much and she loves him more than me. They both started their new life together forgetting about me. When I go home from school there is no one to greet me. They both work for the same company, him as a business lawyer and her as his secretary. They are both quite happy staying back at work, putting extra hours working on cases together. They keep forgetting me, not worrying about meÖ
I am starting high school today. I have always been popular. I supposed some say that I am very pretty. I have blond hair, blue eyes and long legs. Some people say I have a certain foreign and exotic quality about me that makes people cling to me. But I feel alone. I suppose I have Tori and Yuki who are my best friends. They both helped me learn Japanese. They are my family now. They take care of me and look out for me at school and in life. Tori is the same age as me and very pretty too. She has long black and I think beautiful Asian eyes that she despised. She thinks I am prettier but I donít feel the same. She has a mystery about her. A coolness that people think is stand offish but she is really a very warm person. She is just someone that has trouble connecting with other human beings on an emotional level. I suppose she is the same as me. Her parents do not like her and think of her as cold. They work a lot too and are never home. That fact alone drew us together. We know that we are alone and we have each other. Yuki is a typical male. He is funny and cute. The day that I met him was when he asked me out. I said I was not interested. He kept asking and asking. Following me everywhere making me with is antics. He knew Tori and kept asking her to set us up. Somewhere along the way, we became friends. I expected him to pop up anywhere, anytime to ask me out. It could have been while I was chatting with Tori on a bench or buying some food at the canteen. Running away from him became a game and chasing us became fun. After that he would come to my house every morning to walk me to school. After a while asking me to go out with him was not important and he became a member of our small group. Now they are both my best friends and I love them dearly.
My first lesson of the day is Music. I have heard that the old teacher retired last year and that today was the first day for his replacement. The new teacherís name is Somoro Ryo. I suppose we will have to call him sensei. He supposedly is a genius pianist but gave up some years ago to teach. I suppose some could love teaching that much. The bell goes. Well there he is barging in the classroom with his long strides. I never knew that someone could be this tall. It is freaky. He could be a basketball player. I did not realize that he was this young. I mean he canít be more than 27 years old. When was he a genius piano player??? Did he start playing in his diapers? Strange, there is a something cold in his eyes. Like an empty shell. It is frightening. Why is sensei so cold? Now he is looking directly at me calling my name. How does he know who I am? Oh thatís right, how many people are called Marie and look German. Present sensei. He still looks at me. He fixes his gaze on me. I am uncomfortable. Why does he stare at me?
I am glad the lesson is over. I donít like sensei.
The next day, I went to look for Tori and Yuki to have lunch with them. I could not find them anywhere. We usually meet by the canteen to buy food and eat it together. Oh well. Iíll have a look around and see. Wait. What is this sound? It sounds like the devil is playing the piano. It is so unnerving. What could possess someone to play like that? Itís like someone trying to lose themselves in the music, trying to get the notes to take them some place where there is no turning back. The music expresses such sadness. I wonder who is playing. I look inside and see Somoro sensei. Of course, it had to be the genius. But it is unnatural. Itís not normal to play like that. What has he lost? Sadness mixed in with anger. I want to hold him. My feet are moving by themselves. Wait, what I am doing? This is rude to enter without permission. I want to hold him. I grab him with my arms. Hold him closely to my chest, his back turned against me. I whisper in his ear ďSensei, let me give you your soul backĒ. He stops playing. His hands still in the air, start shaking. He started shaking. I can feel him shaking in my arms. I hold on tighter. I can feel something coming to the surface. His body starts shaking more violently. I hold on tighter. Then I can feel it. Itís like a release. Some switch has been flicked. He starts crying. I never heard anyone crying like this. It is like he has been holding on to the tears for years and finally stopped holding them back. Time passes, he finally comes down. His body stops trembling. His hands move towards the piano keys and he starts playing something again. This time, it is more peaceful. It is still sad, but smoother, like small creek flowing down. I let him go slowly and turn around. I walk away. The bell goes. Oh well no lunch. I have got to get to my next class. Tori and Yuki are running towards me. Well I suppose I canít tell them about what happened. It will be my secret and senseiís.
Damn. Itís really raining. When one looks at the weather forecast in the morning, one would expect to be told that it would be pouring at the end of the day. I donít have my umbrella. Well I can always use by school bag. Itís not going to help much though. If I had caring parents they would ring my mobile and ask me if I needed to ride home. I can hear a car starting. It must be one of the teachers leaving to go home. I wish I had my license too. The car pulls up in front of me. The window opens. Itís Somoro sensei. He asks me to get in the car and tells me heíll give me a ride. Iím already soaked. I tell him not to worry and that I donít want to wet his car. He says that it does not matter and that heíll take me home. I tell him that I donít want to go home. There is no one there. I am tired of being by myself all the time. I am lonely. He looks at me and tells me heíll take me to his place to dry off. We can have tea together and talk. I get in. We say nothing on the way to his place. Itís a long drive. He lives pretty far away just like I do. I need to call my parents and let them know that Iíll be late. Wait there is a message for me on my mobile. They are not coming home tonight. They have to work late. Thatís just great. We pull up in front of nice looking apartments. Not where I imagined sensei to be living at. He tells me he has been leaving there for a very long time.
His apartment is very big, very empty, and very cold like sensei. You can tell he lives by himself. There is only one mug seating on a table. One set of dishes in the sink. No other pair of slippers but the one that he slips on. He lets me stand in the hallway. I donít know what to do about my shoes. Do I take them off or leave them on? He comes back with a bunch of sports clothes and a towel. He tells me to take a shower. Itís weird to be in senseiís bathroom. It is so manly. In my bathroom there are little soaps and flowers. Here just a razor and a toothbrush. I turn on the tap. The water feels nice. I did not realize how cold I was. I take my time looking at senseiís things. There is his shampoo. Smells like him. Itís comforting. I wonder why it felt like coming homeÖ
Once I get out of the shower and change, I get out and look around. Heís making tea in the kitchen and taking cookies out of a box to put them on a plate. I look at him and giggle. He looks up at me confused. I tell him that heís very domesticated. He frowns. I giggle some more. We sit down on the floor in front of the coffee table. He just looks at me eating and drinking. I start fidgeting. Itís a bit funny to be stared at that way. Itís like heís trying to figure out a puzzle. I ask him how come heís not drinking his tea and that seems to snap him out of it. I giggle. I look behind him and there are some photos. I get up holding by cup to warm my hands and notice some wedding pictures. I see sensei standing next to a woman in her wedding gown. He looks really young. Not much older than me. I look closely at the woman and drop the cup on the floor. The resemblance is uncanny. She could have been my older sister. We look so alike. He gets up quickly and asks me if I am ok. He goes to the kitchen to get a mop. He starts cleaning and touches my leg to clean the tea dripping on it. It tingles. He says not to move. There are broken bits everywhere. He picks me up. I am dazed. I yell at him to put me down and he throws me on the sofa. He goes back to the cleaning. I can hear him opening the bin and throwing the bits away. I donít know what to do or what to say. Itís so weird that his wife and I look so alike. He comes back into the room and sits down next to me. He looks at me then takes my face in his hands and kisses me. I am frozen. I canít move or say anything. I blush. He lets me go and starts talking.
He and his wife were childhood friends. Theyíve known each other since they were babies and spent all their time playing together. They always knew that they would one day get married and have children. It was a given. They were soul mates. They knew when they were in the same room. They could sense each othersí presence. Everyone expected to see them together all the time. They were inseparable. He was a child prodigy. He was put in front of a piano at the age of 4 for the first time and instinctively knew how to play. He did not take him long to pick up the basics and outrank his tutors. He even got in a prestige school known for its accomplishments in creating great musicians. They were separated during the day but would always walk back to school together. They both graduated from high school and decided not to wait any longer and get married straight away. They lived happily for a year and decided to have a child. He was away often and went to play concerts in the evening but she always said that she did not mind. She knew what she was in for when she married him and she knew that he loved her. That was enough. She was happy. She said the only thing that would make her happier would have been to have his child. So they got pregnant. He still went away a lot but she was happy knitting things for the baby. He was happy. The time came when she was in labor and that is when things started to go wrong. There was something wrong with the baby. The baby was a boy and died on the same night. She was so heart broken. She was so sad. Something in her broke and she was never the same. Once they went back home, they never talked about the baby.
Watching sensei telling me his story I can tell how painful it is. I tell him I donít need to know anymore and grab his hand. He squeezes it and says it is alright. He wants to tell me more. I nod.
His wife started to let go. She would not eat or drink. She got very thin and hospitalized a few times. He felt powerless to do anything for her and started giving up himself. He immersed himself in his playing and could not look at her anymore. One day after a performance, he found her in their bed lying unconscious. He started slapping her and she opens her eyes. She smiled and said that she could not live any longer. It was too hard, she was too sad. She asked him to let her go, she could not live anymore. He got up to get the phone but she hold on to him with whatever strength was left in her. She pleaded with her eyes and he sat back down slowly to watch her die. She died peacefully, gently smiling at him.
I was crying silently. He looks up at me at dries my tears with his hand. Sensei tells me not too cry that it was a long time ago. Now I understand the pain from when he was playing. He tells me that after burying his child then his wife he never touched a piano again. That is until yesterday. He was shocked when he saw me in class and that is why he was staring at me for such a long time. He thought he was seeing a ghost. All his feeling came back up and he felt like playing the piano for the first time in ten years. He asks me why I came to him the classroom and held onto him. I tell him it was because of the pain I could feel through his playing and that his loneliness struck a cord with my own. I tell him about myself and he looks at me with kind eyes. They have such kindness. I canít take it anymore. I stand up and tell him that it is time that I went home. He says heíll take me back. Again in the car he says nothing.
Once home, I look at the house and start thinking I wished I never came back. Itís so dark and empty. He wishes me goodnight and watches me get the house. I just stand in the hallway not quite sure of what to do next. The doorbell rings. Sensei is standing there looking at me dripping water. I ask him if he forgot something and tells me that I looked too sad. He did not want me to be alone anymore. Before I knew it, tears start pouring down my cheeks and I start weeping in front of him. He comes in and just holds me until I come down. I ask him if he can stay the night and says alright but nothing can happen. Heís not used to taking advantage of little girls. I laugh. He laughs.
We slept in the same bed, holding onto each other as we were trying to make sure neither of us would drown in our own loneliness.
He left early in the morning. We did not say anything to each other. He goes back home to change before school and my parents finally get home. They apologize to me for leaving me alone and take me to school. The gap between me and my parents is widening and I am not sure there is anything that can be done to fix it. They feel like strangers to me. I am surprised that I donít feel sad about it anymore. After all, I have sensei with me now.
I explain to Tori and Yuki what has been happening and they both look at me without saying anything. For a second I thought I saw a strange twinkle in Yukiís eyes but it goes away immediately. It must have been my imagination. They both tell me to be careful and to think carefully about getting involved with a teacher. Both of us could get into a lot of trouble.
After class, I look for Yuki and Tori once more to have lunch together. I canít find them anywhere until I can hear moaning from one the classrooms. I am thinking it is not of my business but canít help myself and peak inside. I can see Yuki and Tori making love. I am so surprised. I had not idea that they were in that kind of relationship. I am happy for them. Oh well, Iíll go look for sensei instead.
Sensei is playing the piano again. His playing is not so fully charged with his emotions and you can tell that he is enjoying himself. I knock. He turns around and smiles. I blush. He asks me if I needed anything and I tell him just a kiss. This time it is him that walks towards me slowly, looking at me without taking his eyes off me. I think he is so sexy. He bends down and gives me a gentle kiss on the mouth and smiles. This is not enough. I am still riled up about what I just saw in the classroom and grab his head. I kiss him with everything Iíve got to give. He obviously responds to my kiss and starts kissing me more fervently. He grabs me and pushes me against the wall. I start moaning. He breaks the contact and brushes his hair away from his forehead. We just look at each other. He tells me that this canít go any further. He will not take advantage of me. I say that I donít mind, I want to be with him. He smiles at me with pity and says that it cannot happen. I slap him and run. I donít know why I did that. Iím just running and crying. I am being so childish. I am still just a little girl.
After school, I meet up with Tori and Yuki and we decide to go have tea. I am surprised that they are keeping their relationship a secret, they donít even hold hand. If I did not see what I saw at lunch time I would have never guessed. We go to this new place in the plaza and have cakes. Itís nice to spend time with them chatting and laughing. I feel better. Tori explains that she has to go now and leaves us together. She smiles at Yuki but he says nothing. She seems slightly taken aback but brushes it away and waves goodbye. Yuki says that heíll take me back home. I agree. We walk side by side without saying anything. Itís nice to be so comfortable with a friend and not to feel obligated to make chit chat. We can walk along side quietly.
Once home, I ask Yuki if he wants tea and he says yes. The weather is definitely getting cooler as winter approaches. While I make tea I can feel Yukiís eyes on me. I feel a slight chill down my spine but discard it. Heís my friend what I am thinking. We sit in the dining table and sip out tea quietly. He asks me where that bathroom him and tell him to go upstairs. In the mean time I clean up and wait. I wonder whatís taking him so long and go upstairs. I find him in my bedroom. He turns around and laughs saying that heís never been in a girlís bedroom before. He knocks a teddy off a shelf and I bend down to pick it up. Suddenly, Yuki grabs me. At that moment, little bells go off in my head and I start thinking there might be something not quite right. I laugh and tell him to let me go. ďNoĒ. I look at him and he seems angry. I say to let go. ďNoĒ. I start struggling and yell at him to let me go. ďNO!Ē I start kicking him and he slaps me. I look up and heís crying. I ask him what is the matter with him and he confesses that he loves me. I ask what he is talking about. He tells me that he loves me and wants to be with me. I yell ďwhat about Tori?Ē I explain what I saw at lunch time. He laughs. She does mean anything to him, he says. He is just using her to let off steam while waiting for me to notice him. I scream at him that I donít understand what he is talking about or what is going on and I want him to leave. He replies in a chilling tone that he canít do that. He is not going to let some teacher touch me. Not when he canít himself. He is not going to stand for that and be humiliated. I try to run but he holds on to my hair and yanks it back. He slaps me again and this time my lip is bleeding. I start getting scared. This is not my Yuki. Something is very wrong. I ask to come down and tell him we can talk about it once he has cooled off. He says that is not going to happen. He says ďI am not waiting anymoreĒ. He lunges at me and grabs my shirt. He rips it open. I try to slap him but he just slaps me once more and this time I am seeing stars. I cannot believe this is happening. He holds me down and kisses me. It certainly not the same as kissing sensei and I start crying. He screams at me and tells me not to cry. He shouts that I should have expected this, I knew how he felt about me and I was just toying with him. I whisper that I am sorry and did not know. I thought he was my friend. He pauses and gets angrier. ďYou are so stupid!Ē He yanks my shirts off and unzips his pants. I scream ďdonít do this! Youíll regret itĒ. He says he does not care. He is crying. I stop struggling and let him have his way. It hurts. This is not what I thought how it would be like. After meeting sensei, I thought I would not have minded him being my first. But now itís too late. I can feel Yuki tensing and I hear sighing. He is finished. He looks at me and starts realizing what just happened. He looks so scared. He rushes to pull his pants back up and runs out of the room. I can hear the front door slamming. I try to pull my shirt back over my breast but itís ripped. Then it hits me. I want to see sensei. I want to see him now. I start sobbing. I canít hold it in anymore. I run towards the stairs, straight towards the front door and onto the street. I am running with all Iíve got. I run faster. I need to see sensei. I donít know how long I run until I see senseiís apartment. I rush up the stairs and towards his front door. I ring the door bell and he opens. Heís drying his hair and obviously just came out of the shower. He drops his towel on the floor while looking at me with horrified eyes. I scream at him not look at me like that. I change my mind. I should not have come here. I start turning around and run out. I can hear him calling my name. ďMarie, wait!Ē No I canít. I wanted sensei to touch me first. But HE took that away.
Sensei is chasing me. I can hear him running after me. My shoe breaks and I fall on the floor. Well thatís quite a spectacular fall and I start laughing. Laughing and laughing harder, screaming. Sensei grabs me and I bite him. He does not yank him arm back and waits for me to let go. I can taste his blood. I finally come down and let him go. I am dizzy. Then there is nothing.
I open my eyes and I am in a bath. I start struggling. Sensei shushes me, tells me to come down. That everything is going to be ok. I just passed out on the street and he carried me in his apartment. He is washing me gently. I realize what state I am in. There are bruises and cuts everywhere. Blood is dripping between my legs. I remember. I start crying again. I tell sensei that I am sorry, that I tried to stop Yuki, that he was my friend and that I did not understand. I whisper I wanted sensei to be my first. I canít stop crying. I canít take the pain, the hurt. I scream HE betrayed me. HE did this to me. HE was my friend. Sensei comes in the bath and hold onto me. I grab him and hold him tighter. I tell him to hold onto me and not let me drown. I donít want to drown. I whisper again I wanted sensei to be my first.
The water is cold. He undresses himself and turns on the shower head. He makes the water really hot. He washes me with his body wash. I tell him that I am going to smell like him now. He looks at me with sad eyes. He washes my hair. He takes me out of the tubes and dries me slowly. Carefully, as if not to hurt me anymore than I am already hurt. I realize that he is naked himself and look at his body. He is so handsome. You can tell that he works out. I love him. Love his manliness. Love his lines. I ask sensei if I can sleep in his bed. I donít want to go home. I never want to go home. He says itís alright. I can stay with him from now on. He does not want me to leave and he will take care of me from now on. He pulls me up in his arms and carries me off to his bed. He gently lays me down and pulls the cover over me. I ask if he can stay with me and open up the quilts next to me, inviting him to get him. He goes back in the bathroom and dries himself. He gets in the bed. I slide onto his chest and listen to his breathing. I fall asleep listening to his heart beating.
I feel warm and safe. Then I start thinking there is something wrong. I start breathing faster. Iím having flash backs. I can see Yuki tearing my shirt. I start to breath faster. I can see him unzipping his pants. I start sweating. I open my eyes and remember. Thatís right. My best friend just raped me. I feel a hand petting me gently on top of my head. I look onto my side and sensei has his eyes open. He has been watching me sleeping. He smiles. I love him. I slide on top of him. He just looks at me. I smile at him. I tell him that I need to erase yesterday and I still want sensei to be my first. He smiles. I love him so much. I slowly bent down and kiss him. I can feel him breathing slightly faster. I am amazed I have such power over him. I am glad that I can excite him. We kiss and both start getting more excited. He turns me onto my back and kisses my neck. I start moaning. He goes down to my breast and kisses it gently. I moan again. This is what it should be like. To be loved by someone and making love to them. I am glad. It stills hurts a bit but he is gentle with me and we both fall back asleep.
The sun is on my face. I can hear the wind blowing the trees outside. I start smiling, remembering what happened during the night. I look on my side and here is sensei sleeping soundly. He is so cute when he is sleeping. He opens his eyes and smiles. I ask him if he regrets making love to me and nods no. I smile back at him.
I stayed at his place for a few days before going back to school. I wanted the bruises and scratches to disappear. Sensei asked me once if I wanted to go to the police and I said no. Yuki has been my friend for a long time and even if I can never forgive him for what he has done I do not want harm to come to him. I remembered the look he had on his face after he was done and I am quite certain he will punish himself quite enough on his own.
Tori was waiting for me at the entrance of the school. She explains that she has been waiting for both me and Yuki everyday but neither of us shown up. That is until today. She saw Yuki earlier and he told her to go back and wait for me to see if I was coming. I smile and thank her. I apologized for not calling her and tell her that I was sick. She asks me if I am ok now and reassure her, telling her that I am completely healed now.
Seeing Yuki was hard. I could tell that he did not get any sleep in a while and would not look at me. Tori asks me if something happened between the two of us and tell her no. I ask her to go to Yuki and tell him that I wanted to speak to him in the music classroom at lunch time, just the two of us. He looks up and starts tearing up. I look at him and nod slowly. He looks confused and blushes.
Itís lunch time. I am slightly anxious about meeting Yuki but I know if I donít this he will destroy himself. I observed him all morning and he is in a terrible way. I loved him as a friend and canít allow it to happen. I might not be able to forgive him but he needs to forgive himself. I picked the music room just in case something goes wrong and sensei can be near me. Yuki looks bad. He always prided himself on his looks but now he completely let himself go. He had not showered in days and looks terrible. His eyes are all swallowed as if he had cried for days on end. Once he sees me entering the classroom, he rushes to me and I automatically back away. He understands and just stands there looking at me. He starts crying, and sobbing. He starts screaming that he hated himself, that he could not understand why he did such a terrible thing. He starts crawling on his legs, begging me to forgive him. I do not know what to do. Sensei walks in at that moment, picks him up and throws him on the wall. He starts punching. I just look at them. I can tell that Yuki is not fighting him off and understand. He feels that he deserves this. I scream at sensei to stop hitting Yuki. He looks at me and asks me if I am certain. He says he does not mind hitting him some more, itís worth risking his job. I say that it is enough. Yuki slides on the floor and weeps. It breaks my heart. I canít stand it anymore. I canít look at him punishing himself. I walk slowly to Yuki and cuddle him in my arms. I tell him that is it is enough, that he does not have to blame himself anymore that I forgive him and we should put it behind us. Sensei just stands there looking at us. I nod at him and smile. I tell him it is ok for him to go now. Thank you. He smiles and walks away. I rock Yuki until he comes down and falls asleep. He was so exhausted mentally and physically that he just fell asleep in my arms. I whisper in his ear. It might take sometime for me to forgive you completely but I love you and you need to take care of yourself now. Tori finally finds us in the classroom. She looks so confused. I decide to explain everything to her. She was so ashamed of what Yuki had done to me that she started crying and wanting to hit him. I said that was enough and that we are all friends. He made a mistake. If we donít forgive him I donít think he will survive this. She asked me how I could be so strong. How I could possibly feel any compassion for him after what he had done and explained to her what happened with sensei afterwards. I told her that I loved sensei, I was going to live with him from now on and grab onto my happiness with both hands and not let it get away. I explained that I have been very lonely, that she and Yuki were the reason why I did not run away or killed myself and that was a debt that needed to be repaid. She loves Yuki. I can tell by the way she looks at him with pity and horror mingled. We both smiled and I gave her Yuki to hold. I said we all need to be happy from now. It will take work, time and forgiveness but we have each other and thatís what counts.
I am walking towards the park that is near the school. I know that I am supposed to be in class but I could really care less. I sit on a swing and start crying. Sensei must have seen me walk off and approaches. He asks me if it is ok for me to lie to them. He says he knows I will probably never forgive Yuki. It is not a burden I should bare on my own. I smile and ask if he will share that burden with me forever. He replies that he cannot do otherwise. He says that he loves me and wants to marry me when I am of age. I said that I could not do otherwise either.
A few months later I found out that I was pregnant. When I told Yuki he started crying again but I managed to calm him down. It took a lot of work for all of us to forgive each other. I had to rebuild trust between myself and Yuki. At first, I could not even be in the same room as he was but slowly it changed. We started talking again and he told me that he really does love Tori. She did not want to have anything to do with him at first. He worked very hard in breaking down the walls that were between them and things got better slowly. I think our love for each other help all of us to get through this terrible time. Sensei decided that the baby was his and nothing else. We all knew that there was a possibility that it could have been Yukiís but none of us ever said it out lout. Sensei spoke to my parents and took the shame on his shoulder. The school even threatened to fire him but did not. They knew he was a great teacher and everyone loved him. We were going to marry anyway so that eased the blow. My parents actually realized that they have been neglecting me and tried to improve our relationship. I donít think weíll ever be a truly happy family but itís getting there. The baby grows strong and healthy. I can tell how sometimes sensei gets this worried look on like as if he is expecting everything to fall apart. I try to reassure him but I have a doubt myself. Sometimes it feels as my purpose for being born was to give sensei a child.
The months flew by and the first time that the baby kicked, we were all together sitting having afternoon tea. Yuki and Tori spent a lot of time with us. We were always together. They were dotting on me all the time and took care of a lot of things for the baby. Sensei grew to love both of them as much as I did and a really strong friendship was rebuilt. It occurred to me as I had everyoneís hands on my pregnant belly that I was happy and content for the first time in my short life. I looked around me and seeing my friends and the love of my life, I thought I should be grateful to have all of them in my life. I thanked them and they all looked at me like I was losing my mind. I told them that I loved them and I finally wholeheartedly forgave Yuki for what he had done. After all he might have been the one to give me this child that we all loved. We all looked at each other and started laughing like this great burden had been lifted of our shoulders. I always suspected that Yuki asked Tori to marry him on that very afternoon.
The day that I went into labor I knew there would be something going wrong. Something in my heart told me that I would not live to see another day. I wrote a letter to sensei hoping that Yuki and Tori would be there to help him through this. As I was fading away pushing this child into the world losing my grip on sensei I heard him whispering to me very solemnly ďThank you for giving me my soul backĒ. I left this world smiling at the love of my life.
Isnít it strange that after all these months living together I still call you Sensei? I knew in my heart that I would not survive giving birth to your son. I hope you can forgive me for leaving you, just like your first wife did. I wanted to thank you for making these last few months the best in my life. Thank you for taking care of me and telling me that you loved me even when you did not mean it. Yes I knew that you only saw your first wife in me, I knew it every time we made love, like something was not quite right. It felt like you were holding back. I did not mind though. I hope telling you this does not worry you. I had enough love for both of us. You know you saved all of us. If it wasnít for you, I would never have had the strength to forgive Yuki. He and Tori would have never been happily married. You were the reason why we could all move on. I know that you will love this child. I am certain that Yuki and Tori will help you raise this baby. They love him so much already. You all will be his family now. I hope that I gave you your soul back. I wish you so much happiness sensei and take care of our son.
Forever and always, your Marie.