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Thread: ǿǿ/ǿǿ/ǿǿ

  1. #1
    Registered User
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    ǿǿ/ǿǿ/ǿǿ

    This is my latest poem
    im a begginer so help me out



    ǿǿ/ǿǿ/ǿǿ

    Title?
    my friend it is obvious you don't understand
    You are only human, limited in many ways
    You think the thoughts you think are grand
    but the truth is that they are only a small part
    of the things you can

    It is a shame though,
    a human is a creature of so much potential
    but facts like greed,anger,ignorance hold them back
    it is a shame they are stupid,
    otherwise they wouldn't choose acts like that

    As chaves do caminho da certeza estão em suas mãos!
    You do not understand?,
    No?
    Then I suggest you pick up the pace, and get a book
    instead of sitting in front af the TV,
    as images go by while you look.

    Now like my other poems I will change the subject,
    No?
    Yes!
    as I hope you have gotten that book
    as now we will test the knowledge that in you should have took
    Though I should ask questions,
    about subjects like sience and math
    but we have little time left
    for there will be a time , like everything in this world, that this poem will end
    That time is now (...)



    §єvєro³

  2. #2
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    You are clever as a poet, Shaboo, but don't fall into error while being clever.

    That switch to Spanish was a neat twist. The answer would be something like:

    "Si usted hacer no entender , aprender." But then you have this line:

    Now like my other poems I will change the subject,
    No?
    Yes!
    as I hope you have gotten that book
    as now we will test the knowledge that in you should have took
    The word "took" is ungrammatical, and thus a forced rhyme. You want to avoid doing this. Otherwise the poem rocks!

    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  3. #3
    Registered User
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    ooo ok
    but its not spanish its portugues xD
    common mistake they are very similar languages
    ok ill try not to do that next time
    thanks!

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