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Thread: My poems

  1. #1
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    My poems

    Hello all, i've jus started writing poems as a way to deal with my depression, these are the first poems i've ever wrote and id really like it if you could comment on them... Thanks

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    I Bleed darkness

    I Bleed darkness, cause its all that’s inside
    I Bleed darkness, cause that’s all that’s on my mind

    With this knife I can black it all out
    Pain, anger and everything else life is about
    One small cut for man, one giant black hole for many
    Life is like the ocean, big and cold always looking for a penny


    I Bleed darkness, cause its all that’s inside
    I Bleed darkness, cause that’s all that’s on my mind


    Feeling the draw off death for so long
    Use to fight the reaper, now I don’t feel so strong
    The game of life is hard, some win some lose
    The winners win big, the losers just cut and bruise


    I Bleed darkness, cause its all that’s inside
    I Bleed darkness, cause that’s all that’s on my mind

    The Last night on this wicked earth
    I say goodbye to the hurt I’ve felt since birth
    As the blade hits the pipes under skin, I truly feel alive
    When I see the gushing red river I know I won’t survive

    Drained of the blackness, I bleed no more
    Drained of the blackness, my soul can soar

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    My everything

    You are my everything
    When im with you, life doesn’t sting
    I’m the car and you’re my fuel
    You’re more valuable than a jewel

    I love you more than life itself
    With you I can push myself of the shelf
    Dive head first into anything
    You are my everything

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I’m a zombie

    Neither alive nor dead
    I have no feelings except pain
    Trapped in this limbo
    It’s my own fault
    I did this to myself
    I killed every emotion that gave me life
    I carved my body like a sculpture till it was dead
    I am the living dead

    I’m a zombie

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Rivers of red

    I play God and create rivers of red
    Out on the White Plains I leave it all dead

    With my magic blade I make beauty fade
    Let out anger like a grenade

    Get the pain that’s kept near my liver
    And Wash it down the river

    Hope that I don’t feel it no more
    But it always finds a way ashore

    So I keep creating rivers of red
    Praying for the day I leave the pain dead

  2. #2
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    Oooh!! HEY NICK. Yay, I'm glad you registered here. I'm sure you'll recieve some great comments, and some encouraging ones too. Because your poetry is GREAT!
    He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold - John Ruskin.

    If I wanted to hear the beat of your heart, I'd rip it out and hold it to my ear.

  3. #3
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    hey, for a first time writer your poems are brilliant. They show real depth of feeling and emotion. I also suffer from depression and i find poetry a great source of comfort and release. Keep it up i can't wait to read more of your work!
    Keep smiling...Hannah

  4. #4
    pregnant with ideas,, rocksea's Avatar
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    well sure, you really good in writing it out!!

  5. #5
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    Hello Nick

    Through your words you have exposed the very depth of your soul and I applaud you for having the courage to write your innermost feelings and to do it so very well. I can so relate to your words about depression for I have been there and I hope that your writing helps to bring you some comfort as I know it does for me. I thoroughly enjoyed each of your poems and I will look forward to reading more from you. Welcome!

    "Love is the lifeline I cling to
    when grief threatens to pull me down
    into eternal darkness"

    Take care...........Sue

  6. #6
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    hey guys thanks for all the positive comments!

  7. #7
    somewhere else Helga's Avatar
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    It's great, I use poetry too as a way to release feelings I don't want, like my depression.. great, keep writing!
    I hope death is joyful, and I hope I'll never return -Frida Khalo

    If I seem insensitive to what you are going through, understand it's the way I am- Mr. Spock

    Personally, I think that the unique and supreme delight lies in the certainty of doing 'evil'–and men and women know from birth that all pleasure lies in evil. - Baudelaire

  8. #8
    Horizon bound on a bicycl Petruchio's Avatar
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    WOW MAN!!! you seem damned depressed!
    Nice poems by the way!
    I have also written some but nothing so .......um.......depressing and hair raising as this piece of ...........stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Hope it really does make you feel light!!!!

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