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Thread: Lymerick

  1. #631
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Welcome

    There was an old crook named Fidel
    Who woke up one morning in hell.
    Batista said, "Comrade!
    Step into the fire, lad.
    They say we'll be sharing a cell."
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 11-27-2016 at 05:07 PM.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  2. #632
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    The perma bear waits for the roaring bull to hit the fan

    When the markets do what markets should
    Could a bear hibernate if he would?
    Get him out of the way
    Since the bulls run today
    And the sidelines are not looking good.

  3. #633
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Party Like Itís 1929

    Humpty Dumpty says he cannot fall
    As he sits like an egg on the wall.
    Well, he fell anyway.
    Cleanup crews start today
    And thereís plenty of omelettes for all.

  4. #634
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    It is Easier to Predict the Past

    When markets go up some may say,
    ďTheyíll go up!Ē feeling proud of the way
    Theyíve predicted the past
    Though the past doesnít last
    And whatís last may not last through the day.

  5. #635
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    My Goal Is To Find Out Where Iím Going

    My goal is to not waste the day.
    Doing what, though, I still cannot say.
    When the Sunís bright, Iím cheery,
    But at night I get weary.
    Iíve walked, but I donít know which way.

  6. #636
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    There was an old man from Halifax
    Who lived his whole life up t'themax
    He blew all his dough
    blow after blow
    You could say his morals were verylax.
    ay up

  7. #637
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    The Clock and the Now

    The time labelled Ďpastí had an end
    And the future we guess with a trend.
    But the present is real
    Like a now we can feel
    That the clock tries but canít comprehend.

  8. #638
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    Occupational Hazard

    The once was a writer named Mac
    Truth be told a horrible hack
    Sat and typed all day
    Bloody 'roids afray
    Now Mac the hack needs a Quack
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  9. #639
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Trust the duck when the duck says, ďQuackĒ

    There once was a quack who could show
    That his patients were healthy although
    Many died, it is true,
    But we all tend to do
    Stuff like that when the quack wants more dough.

  10. #640
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    Yep. Another fart joke

    Whilst Mac was involved in hackery
    And his doctor in mere quackery
    The Doc preferred beans
    And Mac collard greens
    Together an assault on the olfactory
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  11. #641
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    This one reminds me of the time my dog had to chase that skunk

    There once was a fart who was sad
    Since his odor was all that he had
    But the ladies abhorred
    The fine smells he adored
    With an ambiance badder than bad.

  12. #642
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    Sometimes you canít leave those karma beans behind you

    WARNING: This is another fart limerick.

    Though the wind was caressing my back,
    I still farted. Itís brains that I lack.
    As the smell smacked my nose
    The sweet fumes of the rose
    Were replaced by a foul bean attack.

  13. #643
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    Chicks don't dig flatulence

    Hair slicked with a fistful of pomade
    Mac at his gal's place to serenade
    He flubbed a high note
    She sought an antidote
    And gave Mac a couple of Rolaids
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  14. #644
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    Do chick magnets even know how to fart?

    Although chicks are not fond of the fart
    And as critics they scorn this fine art
    There are times even they--
    I assume, anyway--
    Leave a foul one to warm their sweetheart.

  15. #645
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    Dreaming of Dragons

    There once was a dragon to stop
    And a knight who was judge-jury-cop
    And a damsel so fair
    You could smell her blonde hair
    Over there where sweet dreams rise and pop.

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